New Facebook Pet Peeve: Secrets

People that I haven't talked to in years or only met once are causing me to critically wonder what is going on in their lives. Please stop being elusive with your status updates.  

I mean, if you're going to post a status at just be straight with me.

For example, the status....

Just got the best news!!

For the Love...what is the NEWS????

Okay, that's all. 

happy holidays. 

I've been Elfed

Good-bye pumpkins and harvest corn husks, it's time for candy canes and garland.....it's Christmas Time.

To kick it off on ppppfffffftttttt I thought I'd "ELF" my readers...my fabulous friend, HipLip elfed me and I liked it, I mean we all need an excuse to bake and do random acts of kindness.

Pay it forward you guys, pay it forward.

Also wanted to let you know to tune in on pppffffftttttt everyday for the month of December. I will be bringing you a "Home Alone Moment of the Day" - it may or may not come with a picture.

Tis The Season

Full of Thanks

I'm really trying to be jolly and get in the holiday spirit. But, frankly, I'm NOT full of thanks right now.

Perhaps this post title should be: NOT Full of Thanks

Rather, I'm full of bitterness because I'm at work. Full of rage. Full of immense hatred.

jk jk jk. I'm not going to start stabbing myself with my letter opener, but I just feel like each passing moment that I am here, I slip further and further into a deep hole of blackness.

(large deep breath)

Though I'd rather stare at the wall and feel sorry for myself, I think I'm going to force myself to name things that I'm thankful for to jolt me into the holiday spirit like the Target woman on the commercials. But, again frankly, I'm in NO mood to blog about things I'm thankful for. Here it goes anyway.....

I'm thankful for..............................Baby/Robert/Roberto/Bob

i'm thankful that he allows me to take solo shots of him everywhere we go. i.e. the following.....

i'm thankful that he doesn't mind that i mention him almost every single time i blog. can i have a complete thought without saying his name? no. co-dependence is my friend.

i'm thankful for the millions of big and little things that he does for me everyday that touch my heart without him even knowing it. i.e. ordering me that cherry limeade last night at Sonic (we're healthy) and constantly being supportive of my ever changing career goals. 

i'm thankful for our first year of marriage and i pray for many, many, many more. i like being married to Robert more than I've ever liked almost anything.

What elseeee...of course, family.

I am super SUPER thankful for my parents and how they raised me. They are so amazing. 

i'm very thankful for my littler sister. even though she doesn't read my blog or tell me any of her secrets even though i'm obviously a WEALTH of good advice. haha.

i'm also thankful for my in-laws. i really like them a whole lot. i made them take an "in the back of the cab" pic with me in NYC. 

I'm also very thankful for Grandparents (hug them and spend time with them if they are still here!) Aunts, Uncles, cousins....very important these people we're connected to. I am very thankful to be related to my family. Well, most of them. ha. 

and friends...very thankful for the constant love, support, laughter and fun of my friends....

my friends dressed up in 80s for my bachelorette party. i mean...whoa. 

my friends came all the way to Santa Fe to stand by my side the day i married Robert.

i cannot imagine life without them and i never want to!

i admire them in mannnyyyy ways and feel lucky that i'm in their lives. 

getting older i cherish going through big moments with my friends. this is Lauren's wedding weekend. so special to share these moments. 

so thankful for my friends!!! time, distance nothing can separate true friends and i love that. 

just amazing

oh memories. 

what on earth?

crazy excited to be a bridesmaid in one of my best friends' Adrienne's wedding next SUMMER!! AHHHH.

Okay, I covered my three main bases of normal thankfulness - love, family and friends and good thing because I was just told that I can leave. THANK YOU LORD. 

That actually did help my mood?? I'm so lucky I can just list off things that I usually take for granted. I hope you can remember things things tomorrow and everyday....Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!

Young Motherhood on Facebook

disclaimer: this doesn't necessarily bother me. it's just so prevalent i feel the need to state what's going on.

another disclaimer: maybe in a handful of years when/if i become a young mother i may have these very same facebook statuses. but, i doubt it because i'm not a big "status person."

a third disclaimer: i hope i don't offend any mothers or future mothers. i adore babies and all things baby related. i'm simply amazed by all of these "mother statuses".

Anyway, what I'm trying to say is that mothers has overtaken my newsfeed. Please see below.

status 1

Ok...Mom's of 2 young ones out there...I need help with double strollers! We will be getting the Bob Dualie so that I can still run, but I want a tandem for errands, etc. Any suggestions??? Or does the double Bob work at stores? I was afraid it would be too wide...

status 2

About those child-proof cabinet locks... Jonathon is currently reaching his arm through the crack and pulling out sponges from under my kitchen sink. Hmm, we may need to rethink this.

status 3

Kids are asleep, cleaning the house...and tonight the hubbs and I get to have a "stay in" date! Whoop whoop!

status 4

Looking for binky advice...whats the best way to binky break? cold turkey, cut the tip off, or a slit in it? And how miserable is my life going to be???

status 5

cleaned out both of the boys closets, almost done with their laundry and now I'm ready for some lunch ~ hope I can make it to Goodwill today to drop off tons of clothes.

I have deleted their names. I am 99.9% sure these people don't read this blog. But, if they do, I have to say it's not personal, it's just the facts, there you are posting about "motherish activities" on the ol' FB. It's been discussed among my friends and Facebook has definitely made the shift to Mombook and I don't see this trend subsiding anytime soon.

And for the most recent Mom post....

my daughters ears hurt her every time we get on a plane!! Any suggestions???

7 minutes ago via BlackBerry ·  · Comment

• 
  

  Misty Gere likes this.

Poor daughter's ear. And Misty Gere likes this?? I don't know you, but I'd say that's pretty sadistic, Misty.

A Royal Date, Indeed!!

Well, it's official, Willy and Kate will be tying the knot on April 29th, 2011. Pretty quick engagement, I'd say!! I love it!

In the words of Franck Eggelhoffer, "Oh- oh, hello! That's five months! Five months not much, but...that don't bother me so much because it's a little bit tight but we can do it and it will be spectacular!"


Not to worry, Katie, you've only got 5 months and it's not much, BUT, "it will be spectacular!"

here comes the bride! is it just me or does she get prettier every day? 

Susan Boyle is my Homegirl

When I saw this, I cried. Sat at my desk and weeped like a baby. Then I watched it again. 

I don't know why it moved me so. I guess I'm not alone, I mean this video was a youtube sensation. It's like you literally saw her dreams coming true and it was touching, inspiring, moving....

She continues to move me. Girl went and broke the world record! She has become the first female act to have simultaneous number one hits in the UK and the US twice in one year. Sorry, Mariah and Madonna...you can't catch, Susie. Only The Beatles and The Monkees have had simultaneous chart toppers and that was in the 60s. (via mtv.co.uk)

“I've never felt happier in all my life,” SuBo said of the achievement. “This is an amazing result and one I never expected.” 


SuBo?! Well, that's fun nickname if I've ever heard it!


Britain’s Got Talent boss Simon Cowell had high praise for the 49-year-old: "I'm thrilled for Susan, she has once again defied the odds. She is my superwoman."

I have to agree. She's awesome. In an age where sex appeal is king, it's refreshing to see someone get recognition for actual talent. I was angered when I heard some dj's last week say that they bet "Susan Boyle would trade in all her money and success to be pretty." Seriously? Is that were we are as a culture? What happened to "It is what is on the INSIDE of a human being that matters"???

In addition to her world record, SuBo also kicked Taylor Swift's album out of her number one seat last week on the Billboard charts. Selling more albums then Taylor Swift while she's writing songs about John Mayer and the werewolf from Twilight? No easy feat, Susie Q.! Looks like she didn't need "to be pretty" to pull that one off.

If I still bought cd's I would go buy the "The Gift" today. Maybe, I'll tell my parents I want that for Christmas.

i support this woman

I also heard on the radio last week that SuBo will only allow her accountants to give her $500/week. She said when she had access to all of that money it changed her and she didn't like it. Now, she allows herself as much as a secretary would make in her country, Scotland. I. am. sorry - but, I have to state, I'm completely blown away by this. What a picture of wisdom and humility and a true testament of "money does not buy happiness". If I ever have the kind of money she has I highly doubt I would have the strength to allow myself $500/week. pppppffffttttttt.

Susan Boyle, you are my homegirl....I wish you life's every happiness. Who has a cool old uncle to set her up with?? SuBo for the next Bachelorette!! JK - she's way too cool for that :)

Pretty Trees??!

This is just my shout out to the beautiful Dallas trees this year. These past couple of weeks I am so in awe of the foliage. I find this weird because I've lived here four years and I can't recall ever thinking, "wow. look at those colors?!" I was probably too busy texting and driving. Anyway, good job this year, Dallas trees. I'm enjoying you.

(picture NOT of an actual Dallas tree)

I still like pumpkin: Breakfast Edition

Do you ever find yourself in a breakfast rut? I do. I eat breakfast at the office because I don't get up early enough to eat it at home which proves I am not an adult yet. Lately, I've had the tried and true Nutri-grain bar to get me through the mornings. I've grown weary of them and was relieved when I saw these on the shelf at Whole Foods the other day.

PUMPKIN SPICE FLAX CRUNCH GRANOLA BARS!

Fall themed breakfast? Don't mind if I do.

They remind me a lot of these

But better because there is a pumpkin spice hint in them.

And the whole Flax thing is an added bonus too. According to this flaxseed may help fight cancer, heart disease, diabetes and hot flashes?? Also, flax seeds have omega-3s which help with depression, so that's good too. Although, I wouldn't trade in those anti-depressants for a bag of flax seeds anytime soon. (At least I won't be. Pharmaceuticals are my friend.)

If you want to try these Pumpkin Spice Flax babies go to this fun link and find a store nearest you! Thanks Kashi.

I like this "having to do with breakfast" quote....

"Sometimes I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast." - Lewis Carroll

Celeb Engagements Everywhere

"I do. Achieving your dream wedding" good job with the wedding, but i think you forgot the marriage

I believe that I am of the "Newlyweds" generation. Meaning the generation of girls that became enamored with the MTV reality show, Newlyweds. Sigh, chicken of the sea. You all remember that episode. I know I'm not alone in saying I wanted to be Jessica Simpson. Remember her wedding book, "I do" (above)? I could have stared at that thing for hours? Why was in so entrancing? We all ate it up. We loved it!  We didn't think her dumb comments were dumb, but endearing and cute. We thought Jessica and Nick Lachey were the perfect couple and would grow old together.

PPPPPPPFFFFFFFFFTTTTTTTTTTTT.

Well, that bubble burst. To me, it was sad. It was sad because I thought they really loved each other. I still blame Jessica.

So now, Jessica is engaged to "what's his name". I know his name, but really who cares. I'm over it. And somehow in my daily reading of people.com I missed that Nick Lachey is engaged too.

From Newlyweds, to Divorces to Engaged all over again. Hope they learned on the first go round to stay away from reality TV.

Last night as Bob and I were cooking dinner, I put Entertainment Tonight on. Tragically, Heidi and Spencer were on there talking about getting married AGAIN. They are so weird. Go away. Someone should pay them to leave the country.

Oh look someone is!!!!

Finally, let's talk about the engagement that dwarfs all engagements and say cheers to Kate Middleton. Or shall I say, Princess Kate? Lucky girl.

seriously, she gets Princess Di's engagement ring?!! 

Best of luck to the royal couple! They've been together 8 years, so I'm thinking they've got a shot :)

I love love. So I need not be bitter about Jessica, Nick or Heidi and Spencer and wish that perhaps there is love in their relationship endeavors. We all live and we learn and that's all anyone can do. (Why am I acting like I know them or that they care what I think??) 

"When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible. " - When Harry Met Sally

Carrie Underwood Status updates

She hosted the CMA's last night. Though I didn't watch I was checking facebook. Here's a couple status updates enjoyed and agreed with....

I would give anything to have Carrie Underwood's legs...

Me too. Me freaking too.

And my favorite, from a married mother of two

I think I am attracted to Carrie Underwood...

Me too. Me freaking too.

Carrie I heart you.

as if i already didn't want a tutu

making that middle part look so easy

literally stop already 

and oh you're just effortlessly going to channel Kate Hudson now? Awesome. You. Do. That.

All from frumpy out of style land....ttyl

eeehhhhhhh

I read yesterday via The New York Times that the F.D.A. has unveiled 36 proposed warning labels for cigarette packages providing graphic reminders of tobacco's dangers.

These pics aren't very pleasant.

Did anyone else have that guy that had face cancer from chewing tobacco come to their high school and talk about how you shouldn't chew tobacco? I did and it really stuck with me. I tried to tell my dad that he would only have half a face if he continued to chew tobacco. I don't think it really made an impact on him. He may or may not chew tobacco to this day?? 

Will these graphics really cut back on smoking? Since, I'm not a smoker I don't know. If bags of candy corn had pictures of morbidly obese people on them, would I still eat them? I don't WANT to know the answer to that.

Anyway, be looking for these beauties at your local gas station for that daily upper. 

Comediennes

Robert thinks I'm funny. Maybe because if he doesn't laugh at me, he will cry because he'll realize that I'm crazy.

Once and a while he pulls this line out of his pocket, "you should be a stand-up comedienne!"

Oh, should I?? Should I?

Then the plethora of comediennes run through my head and I reply to Robert with them:

Oh just call me Margaret Cho!

my sister had never heard of margaret cho?

Oh call me Janeane Garofalo!

what is the truth about cats and dogs?

And the always old faithful - Oh, call me Ellen Degeneres

she really is one hoot of a lesbian

Then I feel like I've kind of run the course of the comediennes out there and get really 90's and say...

Oh, just call me Roseanne Barr!

it is every husband's dream to hear those words from their wife

But in the last couple weeks, there's been some SNL tribute shows on. One of VHI and another giving a tribute to the WOMEN of SNL. Those are some funny bitches and don't need to be forgotten!! 

These really make me happy.

Where my girls at?? haha. Yay funny women. Laughing is important, just wanted to make sure you laughed today.

Next time Robert claims I'm funny, I'll have to pull out the names of the ladies of SNL

Oh, just call me Tina Fey!

Obviously, we've got a car thief in Lakewood....

I haven't even told Robert this story yet.

Glad I'm blogging so that I can communicate with my husband.

Okay, so the past two nights I've woken up sweating in the wee morning hours. Say 3ish. 

*By the way, This whole "sweating in my sleep bit" has just been happening since sleeping with Robert aka marriage. I wake up in the mornings sometimes and I am drenched. Like pj's are completely wet and sheets need to be changed. TMI. Probably. I just don't get it? Is is the body warmth from another person in the bed? I'm pretty cold natured, like always want extra blankets so I truly don't get what is it causing this superfluous sweating? I dislike feeling that I just got out of a pool when I wake up. It does not help this whole "feminine and delicate" wife image I try to live up to when I wake up feeling like a sweaty fat man.*

Anyway, I'm pretty sure the night before last I woke up in the middle of the night because I realized that the Christmas cards that I ordered from Snapfish are going to have a fuzzy picture of Robert and I on them.

That's for a whole other post entitled, "I'm stupid." or maybe entitled "Please pay attention to Snapfish when they print on your picture- WARNING this picture has low resolution". I conferenced with Jamie about this and I called Snapfish and got a full refund - I'll be sure to let you know how they turn out with they arrive. Oh yes, I called Snapfish and they were already sent out. Oh yes, I ordered low resolution Christmas cards. This is so humiliating, I'm not even sure why I'm sharing this. In my defense I've never done this before and also in my defense when I "previewed" the Christmas card it wasn't blurry. ppppffffftttttt.

So last night, I woke up again. This time it was because I heard multiple car alarms going off. Baby, did you hear those? I heard at least 3. I immediately assert that there is a car thief ravaging the cars in our neighborhood. Then I talk myself into thinking that I can hear the thief himself on foot going from car to car. Literally, I think I hear someone running. I assume that he won't try to rob the jalopy (my '99 Lexus SUV) mostly because Lexus's are like fortresses. I've locked my keys in mine enough to know. But, I decided that he was probably robbing Gary (our '10 Camry).  (And yes, we bought a Camry the year that they STOPPED being America's most reliable vehicle and STARTED killing people.) I still laid in bed half asleep and didn't do anything to stop this robbery of Gary. 

Then I thought of Antoine Dodson. What is wrong with me?? Why do I think of this individual so much?? It's because I was thinking to myself, "Obviously we've got a car thief in Lakewood...." and he starts out his infamous interview with, "Obviously we've got a rapist in Lincoln Park...." Earlier yesterday evening I was having one of those, "I'm upset and crying for no reason moments" - To cheer me up, Robert put on the Antoine Dodson youtube of his interview, not the song. The interview. And it's gets me every time. Cheered me right up. Some girls need flowers. Some girls need Antoine Dodson. 

After I got Antoine out of my head in my sleepy blurry daze, I thought about the car thief and his rationale for robbing and thought, "It's the holidays. People are getting desperate." You know that cliche evaluation of all robberies during this season. 

In retrospect: first of all, the alleged thief isn't robbing cars on November 11th to buy toys for his children to put under the tree. So I don't know why I jump to the conclusion that this is a "holiday robbery".

Secondly, in context of the desperate holiday robbery, I feel like I'm almost at that level.

Let me explain, as I stated it's only November 11th now and my head is constantly filled with "What am I going to get this or that family member for Christmas??" and now it's doubled because I want to try to fill the "perfect daughter-in-law" shoes and get my in-laws perfect gifts. I'm feeling this new edge of desperation. I need to wrap their gifts! Do I get them stocking stuffers?? I'm taking away their only son for Christmas. I need to compensate with presents!! 

I really want to get my mother and father in law something great because they do so much for Robert and I. BUT, BUT - they're so hard to buy for. Does Boney need another tie? No. What do I get Teri? The woman with immaculate taste? More bubble bath? I bought her some decor I thought she might like when we were in our honeymoon in Hawaii. She put it on her shelf when I was there, but the next time I visited it was gone. I'm assuming she gave it to Good Will. My point: they're hard to shop for. And things I want to get them we probably can't afford.

It leaves me feeling like I don't have enough. Financially and mentally. And it leaves me sad that THIS is the feeling that the holiday season stirs up in me every year. 

Don't get me wrong. I love love love giving presents and getting them isn't shabby either. But every single year I over do it with presents and stretch myself to the limit financially; therefore, mentally I'm so spent I don't even remember why I'm giving these presents in the fist place. 

I mean it's not even Thanksgiving and I'm fighting it!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Goodness.

Perspective. I need a shifting of it. Honestly, a daily prayer for me has got to be that I remember several things that I forget every five minutes. 

1. everything material is fleeting. it's not what matters at the end of the day.

2. people don't care about what you give them for Christmas. really, all they care about is the thought.

3. Christmas is celebrated all over the world because of the BIRTH OF CHRIST. Christ came to the world to save us, God gave Him to us and because of that the world will never ever be the same.

I've got to keep reminding myself of these things and because of that, I might be blogging about it. Just a warning.

Love to my friends and wish you the most wonderful blessed holiday season possible.

Thanksgiving is almost here :). Gobble Gobble. 

going to the chapel and going to married......

Not me. I just have anniversaries in my future :)

My best friend, Lauren, is tying the knot this Saturday. I can't wait to see her as a bride, I know she's going to be off the charts gorgeous!! Cheers to the future Mr. and Mr. Smith!! I know this is the beginning of a very beautiful and happy life for them and I feel honored to be able to witness it!

i love this girl!! 

itty bitty teeny tiny font

Facebook. You, sneaky devil, you.

Smaller Newsfeed font?! No you diiiin't!!

This now allows me to do my scan of status updates with more efficiency.

Who's birthday is it? Who's engaged? Who posted pics? Who posted a funny article? And my favorite...Who changed their profile picture??

It's all condensed - more info flooding to me!! I have to click on "Older Posts" WAY less which saves me MAJOR time. Maybe I'll get around to posting that Fall 2010 album?? Maybe I'll apply for new jobs? Maybe I'll write that novel I've been meaning to get around to? The possibilities are. endless.

Mark Zuckerberg, keep on keepin' on. What ever your selling, I'm buying.

All I Want for Christmas is youuuuuuuuuu!!!

Mary told me that if "All I Want for Christmas is You" by Mariah Carey, didn't play at my December wedding last year that she wouldn't come.

Good thing she came. Because we did play it. Twice.

Oh the opening line, "IIIIII don't want a lot for Christmassssssssss.................."

Gives me chills every time!!! (yes, 3 exclamation points worth!)

Mariah is coming out with Christmas Album NUMERO DOS today, entitled, "Merry Christmas II You"

Deck the Halls, my friends, Deck the freaking Halls.

Oh no...

Another pumpkin dessert recipe on Tasty Kitchen.

Pretty sure I'm going to have to make these as soon as possible....

Post Halloween Thoughts: The Great Debate or so I thought.....

I thought that as a young lady, say 18-28ish, when the Halloween season arrives you have to decide, "Am I going to be one of those girls who tries to have a sexy or funny Halloween costume?? OR will I try to fall in between and go the cute route?" Sexy?? Funny?? Sexy and funny?? OR cute?? How do I go about this?

After attending the Halloween party at Trece last Saturday night I can say that most girls do NOT have that inner dialog at all. They have one voice within them that says one thing on Halloween night and it clearly states: your costume must be strictly SEXY - AS SEXY AND SLUTTY as possible besides being naked.

except for this girl who decided naked was okay.

it's actually not okay. 

I want to say that I've always been a strictly "funny" costume type of girl because I feel that the girls that go sexy take themselves way to seriously and can be looked at as just plain slutty. Alas, I can't say fully say this. I've tried to dabble on the sexy/cute border in the past with very sad and very pathetic results, which has turned me into the "strictly funny" costume person that I am today.  Or at least trying to be funny costume person or maybe just blatantly NOT trying to be sexy costume person.

(sidenote: so perfect that I'm posting about costumes and Halloween after Halloween? Typical.)

Here are some costume highlights and lowlights....

this was fun. Yes, I will take the physical challenge, Mark Summers.

probably my most fun Halloween to date. i was a dead 80s prom queen and YES the guy in the white and red was a tampon (SICK.). if i showed you a picture of what i looked like earlier in the night you might not speak to me again it was so bad/UGLY. note the ninja turtle passed out in the chair. Hi, Ben Coffee!!

there I am on the right being Snow White. this skirt was a little too short and it looked like i was trying to be sexy...ppppffftttt. the blonde second from the left is a guy dressed as a flight attendant. here we are re-enacting a graduation ladies lunch...I mean, what else would we be doing?

here I am as a raver; hence the glowsticks. i can't remember if i stole this idea from Sarah? anyway, my costume included a purse full of aspirin which i pretended were ecstasy all night and would offer to people. sorry if this offends you, ravers like ecstasy, i was just acting the part. 

This brings me to this year.....drumroll.......I was a robber with two of my best friends as we went out on the town for a bachelorette party......good times. 

we steal things. obviously. 

all robbers have mustaches. 

Why is dressing up the same as your friends so fun? It just is.

Back to the party at Trece. Our whole group, 7 of us, were DEFINITELY the most clothed girls there. And we even had a couple cute/sexy ones with us. But, it was the three of us robbers that were totally out of place with our full sleeves and pants. It's crazy to feel out of place due to just wearing a full set of clothes. I could tell every guy and gal in that crowd was thinking, "Why aren't they as scantily clad as possible or at least trying to be sexy??" 

Then when we put on the staches indicating there was no doubt that we were NOT trying to be sexy. BOLD move. In retrospect, I'm surprised we didn't get asked to please leave the premises. I just want to scream "We just want to dress up and have fun!! When did Halloween become a lingerie fashion show??!!" (Just kidding, I didn't want to scream. Few things can get me to the point of screaming) 

You know, it was clearly just the scene I was in this particular Halloween. Someone point me to an elementary school carnival where I can feel wholesome again. Then again that would be creepy because I have no elementary school age children. Hmmm. Maybe next year I will host a nice Halloween party and then I can feel myself again when I see people just in normal costumes and not dozens of Playboy bunnies and sexy Alice in Wonderlands...

In other horrendous costume news:

Merideth Viera, I love you, but you dressing up as Lady Gaga is about as funny as the Holocaust.

Halloweened out, bring on Thanksgiving.........