Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Home Alone Momentssss of the Day: Serveral, Making up for days and maybe an extra to grow on

Kate McCallister: Heather, did you count heads?
Heather McCallister: Eleven, including me. Five boys, six girls, four parents, two drivers, and a partridge in a pear tree. 

Oh how this scene has always made me cringe. I mean, imagine...stepping on those delicate glass ball ornaments. Ehhhhhhh.

Uncle Frank. I'm guessing you're not supposed to like Uncle Frank. I never liked Uncle Frank.
a. he's cheap
Frank McCallister: [talking to Leslie] Wow, that's real crystal. Put it in your purse.
Who does that?!
Also - 
Peter McCallister: Honey the pizza boy need $122 dollars plus tip.
Kate McCallister: For pizza?
Peter McCallister: Ten pizzas times twelve bucks!
Leslie McCallister: Frank, you've got money don't you?
Frank McCallister: Travelers checks.
Kate McCallister: Forget it, Frank. We have cash.
Peter McCallister: You probably have the kind of travelers checks that don't work in France. 
Ewww. Man up, Uncle Frank. Split the pizzas with your bro. 

b. he's not nice to his nephew/Kevin
Frank McCallister: [wiping dregs of soda off of his pants] Look what you did, you little jerk!
[the rest of the family stare irately at Kevin
Why so mean Uncle Frank? Lighten up. Aren't uncles supposed to be cool?

c. he's an idiot
Kate McCallister: How could we do this? We forgot him.
Peter McCallister: We didn't forget him. We just miscounted.
Kate McCallister: What kind of a mother am I?
Frank McCallister: If it makes you feel any better, I forgot my reading glasses. 
Actually, NO, NO it does not make her feel better. 

"No clothes on anybody. Sickening." 

This scene also makes me cringe/want to vomit. They really put Marv through the ringer. 
Fun Fact: Daniel Stern agreed to have the tarantula put on his face for exactly one take. He had to mime screaming because the noise would have scared the spider, and the scream was dubbed in later. 

More later from the brilliant mind of John Hughes....

Monday, December 20, 2010

Home Alone Moment of the Day: December 20

Kevin McAllister: "Bless this highly nutritious microwavable macaroni and cheese dinner and the people who sold it on sale. Amen."

Friday, December 17, 2010

Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus

(the following male/female opinions were posted as statuses on Facebook.)

The topic: The tv show- Sing Off

Female Opinion:

the sing off is truly the best show ever on television. sitting, watching, & holding hands with my husband. one of my favorites ever.

Male Opinion:

Just watched 15 minutes of "The Sing Off" on NBC and I could actually FEEL myself turning gay. Even the black dudes made Nick Lachey look like Chris Brown...this show is embarrassingly bad!


Home Alone Moment of the Day: December 17

Remember the fake party that Kevin stages, Jingle Bell Rock is playing and he ties the Michael Jordan cut-out on the train? I always thought he was so clever for thinking up that whole scenario. 

CORRECTION!! The song that is playing is "Rocking Around the Christmas Tree". Please excuse this error!!

Realized this as we were leaving church yesterday...glad I was focusing on the "reason for the season". Good grief.

not sure if this is the cut-out he used. close enough. are those even called cut-outs?

Thursday, December 16, 2010

Home Alone Moment of the Day: December 16

Mitch Murphy, the McCallister's neighbor, whose name I couldn't remember the other day....

 Hi, I'm Mitch Murphy. I live across the street. You guys going out of town? We're going to Orlando, Florida. Well, actually, first we're going to Missouri to pick up my grandma. Did you know the McCallisters are going to France? Do you know if it's cold there? Do these vans get good gas mileage? 

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

10 Days til Christmas???

Is anyone else freaked out that Christmas is in a mere 10 days? Raise your hands. I'm picturing hands raising. I'm praying hands are raising. I still have gifts to purchase, wrap and mail. On top of that, I have places to go and people to see. On top of that, I want to lay down on the couch and zone out. What will I choose?

This week is the official "Christmas Party Week" across the land, at least it is por mi (si en espanol). Cookie Exchange last night, White Elephant rager tonight, Bible Study bash tomorrow night and finally the annual S.F.C.P. (Sorry For Christmas Partying) on Friday at the Barely House, always known to be out of control. I'm going to need some shots of holiday espresso in my egg nog. I got two hours less of sleep than I usually do last night and I feel like I'm withering away. (I do NOT know how young mothers do it. They have to be delirious, which could explain the constant status updates?) My friend Brookey once said, "God just gives you the strength." regarding how you basically don't sleep anymore. He must. He really must. I'm a baby about sleep. Big baby. I think once I read that lack of sleep can intensify depression. So, now I over sleep just to be on the safe side. I mean we don't need a weekly depression post about how I'm barely functioning like we had last week, do we? No. No, we don't.

On top of the nightly Christmas celebrations this week, I had the annual holiday breakfast for the tenants in our building at my office. We are the landlords of the building and in lieu of the holiday spirit we host a breakfast for the tenants to come partake in. We don't get a normal restaurant to cater like Bread Winners, Cafe Brazil or Dream Cafe. It's trays from Kroger. Croissants, pastries, cookies, muffins...ehhhh. I'm not trying to be snobby. I mean the food is okay, but I just wonder if the tenants are think, "really? why bother?". I think I would. But, we stand there and say "Merry Christmas! Thanks for coming!" to everyone that makes an effort to come down to the lobby and get a breakfast plate.

The whole thing has always been a pretty painful experience and we usually end up talking to each other. But something of interest usually happens. This year, the high point of the breakfast was when a gay older gentleman in his 60s ( I know he's gay because he mentioned his bf, I'm not stereotyping like I usually would) told me that "the furniture in our lobby is worth $80,000.00 and that he sold it to the owners of this building in the 80s." Hmmm. He then proceeded to go on about his shit-zu and lhasa apso and how he went to get them groomed and didn't tell his boyfriend and he has a problem with honesty and it was expensive, but they needed it because it's the holidays. I'm just nodding, eyes wide open. Then, he reminded me in a very serious tone to never be a furniture snob at parties and try to check the brands of furniture. Okay?  It was like that Bing commercial- you know where the ladies are at lunch and one says something and the other goes off on a random's like he was doing that to himself. Like the last word of every sentence spurred him into another unrelated topic. Bizarre, yes, but in a good way.

I told Mary about the news that the furniture in our lobby is worth $80k and we've decided we're definitely stealing it. Please, we'd steal it for $2k, who are we kidding? Honestly, it's most likely not worth anything. If it were true, my boss would have sold it long ago. He enjoys money. Manners and socializing..not so much. But, money is his thing.

On another topic of the men in my office. On Monday everyone in my office had pizza for lunch in the conference room. I learned some very disheartening things about one of my bosses. I hope these things don't sum up middle aged men in general. These are all about the same guy, whom I will just call "He". I don't know if I used "whom" correctly there, but it was just fun. Okay, so He starts talking about how He likes the Twilight movies, but He hates the desperate teen love and that in "no way does He love his wife like that." My gosh. Do husbands not love their wives as much as Edward loves Bella? Help us all. I know that committed relationships do not have the "I will die if I'm not with you" moments anymore, but I'd like to think that a guy wouldn't propose to a girl that he didn't have a deep love for, but obviously He does not feel this for his wife.

He then went on about how he HATES his daughters dance recitals. He loves enunciating, so he kept enunciating HATE. He did say he loved the 3 minutes that she was on stage, but he HATED the other 3 hours he had to sit there. I told him that the whole three hours was to support his daughter. He said that is stupid and he should just have to watch those three minutes and leave. I thought of the countless dance recitals that I put my Daddy through and how he always acted like he loved every minute and I prayed that He would at least act this way for his daughter. He couldn't stop there. He then said at the dance recitals He wasn't sure if he should be attracted to the 17 year old girls in leotards. Now I'm just disgusted. This was so not worth the free pizza lunch. The answer would be no. No you are not supposed to be attracted to them. He is obviously not attracted to his wife, so the problem could start there. I told Him, "I learned way too much about you today." Frankly, I wouldn't like to learn any more for a while. Sorry, I'm not sorry.

Also, on an unrelated topic, I'd like to apologize to mother Earth. I went through 6 reams of paper and three toners to print documents for one of the guys at the office yesterday. My printer did not stop printing all day long. It would be fine if what I was printing were ever read. They won't be. They will sit on my desk and in 3 months, I'll ask if I can recycle them and he'll say "yes, that deal didn't happen." I'll wonder why I printed them out and why stacks of paper make people feel important. I'll then decide I don't care and carry on.

I wish I have pictures of the Cookie Exchange last night. Alas, I do not.

Alas, I was in Maui this time last year on my honeymoon.

Alas, I wish I was there right now.

Alas, I am not.


10 days til Christmas people. 10.

Home Alone Moment of the Day: December 15

"Is this toothbrush approved by the American Dental Association?"

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Monday, December 13, 2010

Media Passes=a good time

Since I've been in my own world of mini-breakdowns for-no-reason last week, I haven't even shared about the great football adventure - The Big 12 Championship - OU vs. Nebraska. If you're my Facebook friend, you'll see that I posted pics. I very oddly named the album "fast times at ridgemont high". I did this mostly because I can never come up with names of albums besides the obvious, "Big 12 Championship" and for some reason I want to be funny and random. Winter 2010 just sounds so serious? So there you have the random album name. But then, I got anxiety about having the confusing title and changed the album name to "seasons greetings". Okay, sorry for that small vision into my psyche. It's scary in there.

Okay, as mentioned, we were not only going for free to the Big 12 game, but we got paid $40 to pass out a short survey for a marketing company that helps monitor the advertising for the Big 12. (Or that's how I would explain it? Robert might have a better description.). We were excited to ride and tailgate with friends and go to the game and roam around the stadium. Little did we know, we would be given Media Passes...oh yes, Media Passes. You read that correctly.

only the Lord above knows what my hair was doing here
yet my hair seems more normal here?? what is the universe trying to tell me?

Enough about my hair, back to the Media Passes. I've heard people say that once you fly first class that you're ruined, you never want to go back to coach. I've only flown coach and private (with my boss) so I've never had the first class experience and frankly, I'm scared to because then coach will be more miserable the next time I fly on Southwest or when I'm back in the real world on coach. I already longing look at those big comfy chairs every time I pass the first class section on a long flight. I sigh and I go to take my place in the back row between two obese people and wonder how those big comfy seats might feel.

I think the same can be said about Media Passes (again capitalizing for no reason?). Media Passes at the Big 12 game were amazing. I could be ruined for all other games that I attend at Jerry World without a shiny Media Pass. I think the best part was that they were unexpectedly amazing. We checked in at will call, got our passes and they said that we could go ON THE FIELD during pre-game and post-game. Are you kidding me?? We were just excited that the tickets were free, the fact that there were perks involved was icing on the cake. This was probably more exciting for Robert because he is a big Cowboys fan, so getting to be on the field where they play was surreal for him. Granted it wasn't during a Cowboys game, that would have been the real deal, but it was still fun to feel like VIP's parading around the field pre-game and taking pictures of everything possible. 

well, look at us on the field???

i can't believe they let us on the field? are they aware we aren't actually media??

got the best seat in the house to see the OU band come out. i was totally in heaven. 

and how cute are they?? together maybe they weigh as much as i do!

OU won. We felt like d-bags passing out the surveys, but it was worth it. Great time had by all. 

Boomer Sooner. Yay for Media Passes. 

Home Alone Moment of the Day: December 13

Gangster ‘Johnny’: [hears knock at door] Who is it?
Gangster ‘Snakes’: [Snakes comes in] It’s me, Snakes. I got the stuff.
Gangster ‘Johnny’: Leave it on the doorstep and get the hell outta here.
Gangster ‘Snakes’: All right, Johnny, but what about my money?
Gangster ‘Johnny’: What money?
Gangster ‘Snakes’: Acey said you had some dough for me.
Gangster ‘Johnny’: That a fact? How much do I owe ya?
Gangster ‘Snakes’: Acey said 10%.
Gangster ‘Johnny’: [smirks] Too bad Acey ain’t in charge no more.
Gangster ‘Snakes’: What do you mean?
Gangster ‘Johnny’: He’s upstairs taking a bath. He’ll call you when he gets out.
Gangster ‘Johnny’: Hey, I tell ya what I’m gonna give *you*, Snakes.
Gangster ‘Johnny’: [pulls out machine gun]
Gangster ‘Johnny’: I’m gonna give you to the count of 10, to get your lying, yellow, no-good keister off my property, before
Gangster ‘Johnny’: I pump your guts full of lead!
Gangster ‘Snakes’: [wide eyed and calm] All right, Johnny, I’m sorry. I’m goin!
Gangster ‘Johnny’: 1… 2… 10!
Gangster ‘Johnny’: [starts unloading bullets into Snakes while laughing maniacally]
Gangster ‘Johnny’: Keep the change ya filthy animal!

Friday, December 10, 2010

Home Alone Moment of the Day: December 10

"That'll be $122.50."

"It's Little Nero, sir. I have your pizza."

Little Nero's pizza guy....classic

Thursday, December 9, 2010

Sorry, if any of you out there are following my homage to Home Alone with my December Home Alone Moments. I haven't got around to them the last three days.

There's not really a reason for this. I've had plenty of time to post and sift through the best things about Home Alone, but I haven't been in the right state of mind to make frivolous Home Alone posts.

I have been in the state of mind to check into a mental ward.

I told Rhonda yesterday via email that I couldn't blog because "it would be so depressing that someone might start cutting themselves while reading". While I still feel this way the knowledge that writing is therapy is outweighing your personal safety. You might want to make sure there are no sharp objects around you before you continue reading.

If I could compare myself to geography this week, I'd say that I have felt the a dry barren wasteland or an Arctic tundra. I've felt drained, vacant, sad, frozen. These feelings are familiar to me since I, along with millions of others of Americans, struggle with clinical depression. I know this territory, I've been here many times. Still, when these phases pop up, I'm never prepared. Surprising, considering everything that I've learned to combat this. I know how much I have to be thankful for. I know there isn't a reason to be sad. I know God made me (Psalm 139:13-14  13 For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. 14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.) That verse has saved me from myself. Saved me to knowing that "I AM wonderful because God's works are wonderful and I'm one of His works". That's the only self esteem I've got most of the time, ladies and gents and it satisfies, fulfills and keeps me sane on most days. But self esteem isn't the issue, like it's been in the past, my issue is just trying to climb through the swamp of what has been tough week for no reason. I love my life. I love my husband again I know I have infinite reasons to be thankful. 

Still, I can't stop it. The mind is a very powerful thing. My mind traps me sometimes and makes it impossible for me to see anything, but the sadness. What's worse is that when I have to deal with something simple throughout the day it causes me to feel completely hopeless, when I know on a normal day it wouldn't have been an issue at all. This week when my boss asked me to make a copy of a lease and I felt like my world was dramatically shattering to the ground because I am so sick of copying leases. Then I wonder, "is it the complacency at my job that makes me unhappy?" My boredom here seems to be breeding sea of feelings in me, that my husband articulately describes as "an unhealthy mix of irritation, anger, disinterest, resignation and incredulity". He was describing himself at a previous job, while sympathizing my situation, but seems to hit the nail on the head on what I'm experiencing. These feelings are so disheartening to me because I used to be the girl that "smiled too much at work", that "cared too much". I could not have morphed into someone completely opposite of that? Oh, but I have.

Again, sorry if this is making you want to cut yourself. I mean, why don't I just post my freaking Home Alone Moments of the day and pretend that all is "merry and bright"?? I'm so weird sometimes, but I just want to be honest. And, speaking of "merry and bright". It is even more depressing to feel the slightest bit depressed in this season. Because you are supposed to be really happy. It's Christmas Time!! Deck the halls!!! Joy to the World!!!

Anyway - back to my job situation. I am taking steps to make a change what I'm doing. The serenity prayer helped me with this. God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference. I need to have courage to change this and with help from Robert, prayer and advice from friends and my family, I think I'm getting there. Still though, a cloud has loomed over me this week, but, thankfully, as clouds do, I think it's lifting. And I think I'm going to pull myself together and make it one more day...

Even though, I know I'm an imperfect broken human being that needs daily healing that only Christ can provide......

Even though I feel bad for putting my husband through an un-fun week with me....

Even though I don't have a Christmas tree.....

Even though I've ruined my Christmas cards, as mentioned in a previous post, and I'm not going to be a cute wife and sent out a cute first Christmas card of us....

there it is in all it's pixelated glory- the card you will NOT be receiving this holiday season. i said i'd show it to you, so i'm just following through on that. still feeling like an idiot about this debaucle.

Even though, I haven't been mentally capable to do my Home Alone Moment of the Day for the last 48 hours....

Even though I should be bouncing off the walls this week because my ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY TO BABY is in three days........

Even though I have three really fun Christmas parties next week and I should be nothing but excited about and not scared if whether or not I'll be able to function like a normal person at them.......

I'm going to move forward and pull myself together despite all of this stuff and know that I'll be okay.  

Let's all hope and pray that normal ppppffffftttttt blogging will commence tomorrow. 

Monday, December 6, 2010

Home Alone Moment of the Day: December 6

Gold tooth of Harry's that Peter McCallister finds

Home Alone Moment of the Day: December 5 (make up)

John Candy as Gus Polinski

Home Alone Moment of the Day: December 4 (make up)

"She's got a whole shoebox full of 'em. Dangly ones." - old man to Kate McCallister when she is trying to offer her earrings to his wife in exchange for their plane ticket

Friday, December 3, 2010

Jingle Bell Rock

HipLip posted the cutest gift guide the other day. I just adored the gum drop stud earrings from Kate Spade. 

I kept perusing Kate's site and saw these and thought they were way too cute not to share.

Christmas earrings that aren't too Christmasy....

Jingle bell studs?! Get out of town!

Have I turned into a female Buddy the Christmas Elf or are these really cute? I vote cute, butttt I've been wrong before. Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way......

New Territory

Tomorrow will mark two firsts for me.

1. I'm going to the Big 12 Championship. Never been to one of those
2. I'm going to the Big 12 Championship for free because Robert and I agreed to pass out and collect surveys for a sports marketing company. Actually, we're getting paid $40 each for this service. Never done anything like that before. Robert's best friend somehow got us connected with this.

We agreed to do this because Robert has never seen JerryWorld and we thought, why not? Free football game? Sounds good. We didn't even know that my beloved OKLAHOMA SOONERS were going to be in it. Now it's going to be extra fun because, obviously, we care about the football and lots of my friends will be at the game too. It might be awkward/funny to run into people I haven't seen in a while when I'm passing out surveys. "How have you been?? Would you like to fill out this 60 second survey??" That's okay though, it'll be fun. Hopefully we won't get shot down too much. We each have to get 40 surveys completed.

Happy weekend and BOOMER SOONER!! 

there's only one.....

Home Alone Moment of the Day: December 3



The Wet Bandits

Thursday, December 2, 2010

Cookie Exchanges make me nervous

So, I really like Cookie Exchange parties. I mean any excuse to bake, eat, drink wine and be with a bunch of girls is definitely considered a good time by me. They also really make me nervous. I like to make cookies, A LOT. But, I usually don't get out of the box much. I stick with the my classic, the oatmeal chocolate chip, which is the chocolate chip cookie recipe from the Magnolia cookbook (giving to me be S.E.S.) with two cups of whole oats mixed in. BUT, if I'm going to a Cookie Exchange I put this unnecessary pressure on myself to step it up. I feel bad if I bring classic/boring oatmeal chocolate chip cookies. I need something new, fun, different, themed!

The last Cookie Exchange (why am i capitalizing that?) that I went to, I didn't plan ahead and I ended up making (yawn) oatmeal chocolate chip, they didn't have enough time to cool and they were flat and not pretty. I was really disappointed in myself and I am NOT going to be unprepared again. On December 14th I'm invited to a Cookie Exchange, by one of Robert's good friends' wife. She has a one and a half year old and I just love her. I'm assuming she'll have several young mommy friends and you know they are going to bring their A game to this Cookie Exchange. So, naturally, my Cookie Exchange stress level is growing by the day.

I've been researching cookies and these are the three I'm liking so far.

Classic gingerbread via Martha Steward. Recipe here.

Or these Chocolate Peppermint Bark Cookies look ridiculous. Recipe here.

Or the ever so scrumptious Buckeye. Always a holiday hit. Recipe here. I can eat so many of these. It's scary.

Oh what to bake?! Even after I've chosen a recipe, I need to do a trial run before I spring it on the Cookie Exchange girls. The pressure of a Cookie Exchange, oh the pressure. At least this gives me an excuse to bake. Robert likes to ask me when I'm making cookies if there is a reason I'm doing it. There usually isn't. Well, now there is! I'll have to find something else to confuse him with. ;). 

Home Alone Moment of the Day: December 2

Old Man Marley/South Bend Shovel Slayer

Check it out, old man Marley! - Watch more Funny  Videos

Wednesday, December 1, 2010


Pepsi is generous. They give away 1.3 million each month to fund great ideas. 

This non-profit was started by one of my first friends when I was little. Her name is Zandree. She was two years older than me and she and her older sister babysat me a lot. I adored them. They taught me about Milli Vanilli and Ferris Bueller. Zandree is all grown up now and honestly we haven't communicated in years except via Facebook. She has her PhD, has started Adylene's Hope (The deal the Pepsi grant would support), has four kids and manages to inspire me from just her Facebook profile. Anyway, if you have time, please vote for her cause. Just watch the'll move you. Thanks :)

Could have done without seeing this headline today......

Delayed Childrearing, More Stressful Lives

A new study finds that delayed marriage and childbearing are leading to increased stress for American men and women in balancing work and family obligations.


You know what else leads to more stressful lives?

Teen pregnancy.





WRITE AN ARTICLE ABOUT THAT. Leave us innocent people in our late 20s alone. We're already dealing with enough- i.e. still not knowing what we want to do with our lives and trying not to be distracted by the Internet. 

Is your hometown having a parade in your honor?

Probably not. Unless your name is Cody Ross and you helped the San Francisco Giants win the 2010 World Series.

This Friday at 4:00 p.m. in my beloved Carlsbad, New Mexico there will be a Cody Ross Parade and Cody will be presented with a Key to the City.

A key to the city of C-bad?! As if you already didn't want to be him!

Cody in the parade celebrating the win in San Fran. Two thumbs up.

Speaking of people I wouldn't mind being....the Victoria Secret Fashion Show aired last night. 

heyyy there....

perfectly normal outfit.
Do you think their hometowns have parades in their honor?? I hope so. 

Home Alone Moment of the Day: December 1

Buzz....your girlfriend...WOOF.