Wednesday, December 15, 2010

10 Days til Christmas???

Is anyone else freaked out that Christmas is in a mere 10 days? Raise your hands. I'm picturing hands raising. I'm praying hands are raising. I still have gifts to purchase, wrap and mail. On top of that, I have places to go and people to see. On top of that, I want to lay down on the couch and zone out. What will I choose?

This week is the official "Christmas Party Week" across the land, at least it is por mi (si en espanol). Cookie Exchange last night, White Elephant rager tonight, Bible Study bash tomorrow night and finally the annual S.F.C.P. (Sorry For Christmas Partying) on Friday at the Barely House, always known to be out of control. I'm going to need some shots of holiday espresso in my egg nog. I got two hours less of sleep than I usually do last night and I feel like I'm withering away. (I do NOT know how young mothers do it. They have to be delirious, which could explain the constant status updates?) My friend Brookey once said, "God just gives you the strength." regarding how you basically don't sleep anymore. He must. He really must. I'm a baby about sleep. Big baby. I think once I read that lack of sleep can intensify depression. So, now I over sleep just to be on the safe side. I mean we don't need a weekly depression post about how I'm barely functioning like we had last week, do we? No. No, we don't.

On top of the nightly Christmas celebrations this week, I had the annual holiday breakfast for the tenants in our building at my office. We are the landlords of the building and in lieu of the holiday spirit we host a breakfast for the tenants to come partake in. We don't get a normal restaurant to cater like Bread Winners, Cafe Brazil or Dream Cafe. It's trays from Kroger. Croissants, pastries, cookies, muffins...ehhhh. I'm not trying to be snobby. I mean the food is okay, but I just wonder if the tenants are think, "really? why bother?". I think I would. But, we stand there and say "Merry Christmas! Thanks for coming!" to everyone that makes an effort to come down to the lobby and get a breakfast plate.

The whole thing has always been a pretty painful experience and we usually end up talking to each other. But something of interest usually happens. This year, the high point of the breakfast was when a gay older gentleman in his 60s ( I know he's gay because he mentioned his bf, I'm not stereotyping like I usually would) told me that "the furniture in our lobby is worth $80,000.00 and that he sold it to the owners of this building in the 80s." Hmmm. He then proceeded to go on about his shit-zu and lhasa apso and how he went to get them groomed and didn't tell his boyfriend and he has a problem with honesty and it was expensive, but they needed it because it's the holidays. I'm just nodding, eyes wide open. Then, he reminded me in a very serious tone to never be a furniture snob at parties and try to check the brands of furniture. Okay?  It was like that Bing commercial- you know where the ladies are at lunch and one says something and the other goes off on a random's like he was doing that to himself. Like the last word of every sentence spurred him into another unrelated topic. Bizarre, yes, but in a good way.

I told Mary about the news that the furniture in our lobby is worth $80k and we've decided we're definitely stealing it. Please, we'd steal it for $2k, who are we kidding? Honestly, it's most likely not worth anything. If it were true, my boss would have sold it long ago. He enjoys money. Manners and socializing..not so much. But, money is his thing.

On another topic of the men in my office. On Monday everyone in my office had pizza for lunch in the conference room. I learned some very disheartening things about one of my bosses. I hope these things don't sum up middle aged men in general. These are all about the same guy, whom I will just call "He". I don't know if I used "whom" correctly there, but it was just fun. Okay, so He starts talking about how He likes the Twilight movies, but He hates the desperate teen love and that in "no way does He love his wife like that." My gosh. Do husbands not love their wives as much as Edward loves Bella? Help us all. I know that committed relationships do not have the "I will die if I'm not with you" moments anymore, but I'd like to think that a guy wouldn't propose to a girl that he didn't have a deep love for, but obviously He does not feel this for his wife.

He then went on about how he HATES his daughters dance recitals. He loves enunciating, so he kept enunciating HATE. He did say he loved the 3 minutes that she was on stage, but he HATED the other 3 hours he had to sit there. I told him that the whole three hours was to support his daughter. He said that is stupid and he should just have to watch those three minutes and leave. I thought of the countless dance recitals that I put my Daddy through and how he always acted like he loved every minute and I prayed that He would at least act this way for his daughter. He couldn't stop there. He then said at the dance recitals He wasn't sure if he should be attracted to the 17 year old girls in leotards. Now I'm just disgusted. This was so not worth the free pizza lunch. The answer would be no. No you are not supposed to be attracted to them. He is obviously not attracted to his wife, so the problem could start there. I told Him, "I learned way too much about you today." Frankly, I wouldn't like to learn any more for a while. Sorry, I'm not sorry.

Also, on an unrelated topic, I'd like to apologize to mother Earth. I went through 6 reams of paper and three toners to print documents for one of the guys at the office yesterday. My printer did not stop printing all day long. It would be fine if what I was printing were ever read. They won't be. They will sit on my desk and in 3 months, I'll ask if I can recycle them and he'll say "yes, that deal didn't happen." I'll wonder why I printed them out and why stacks of paper make people feel important. I'll then decide I don't care and carry on.

I wish I have pictures of the Cookie Exchange last night. Alas, I do not.

Alas, I was in Maui this time last year on my honeymoon.

Alas, I wish I was there right now.

Alas, I am not.


10 days til Christmas people. 10.


Cafe Brazil said...

Trays from Kroger!??!?!?? The horror! No wonder the tenants don't want to come down and have a festive gathering. Next year, call us, let's work it out. Happy holidays!!

Bread Winners said...

KROGER?!?!? Please tell me who is in charge of this soiree. We need to talk. Have you seen our catering menu:

Put in a good word for us for next year!

alexis scarff said...

Cafe Brazil and Breadwinners, Thanks for commenting!! I love you're delicious!! Trust me, I push for you all every year. Actually, 2 years ago, my co-worker and I were really persuasive and Breadwinners catered!! It was the GREAT and best of all, I wasn't humiliated! ha. BUT, since we are trying to count all our pennies we've reverted back to Kroger trays :(. Of course, you're both on top of the list if this changes! Have a great and prosperous holiday season and new year!