Friday, January 30, 2009

What's in a dream??

So, ever since I started dating this Robert fellow, I've been thinking a lot about dreams. Not for the cheesy reason that you think i'm going to say. "Because the he's the man of my dreams." --well, I take that back, because he pretty much is, BUT the reason I've been thinking about them is because he remembers his...vividly. It's so great. I only remember on rare occasions and if I do remember it's blurry and in bits and that's vivid, that's like seeing someone really famous because it barely ever happens. Once and a while though, right when I'm in that in the limbo between asleep and awake, my mind will retain the alternate world I was in during the last eight hours. It's so exciting. Almost as exciting as seeing Luke Wilson at Javier's on my birthday (that happened...true life, right, Ande Courtney.)

Last night, I remembered my dream in more detail than normal, it wasn't very cool, so I'm not going to really dive in. The jist was that I was in a dance recital and I didn't have the outfits I needed to wear and I was upset and I couldn't preform. Drama. Robert said that's my version on an anxiety dream and that some people have those about missing classes or failing tests and they are often recurring. I believe that dreams do mean something. My mom said after she lost my brother, she researched what dreams met because she thought there could have been some way she could have prevented what had happened. Far-fetched, yes definitely, I think she was just searching for any answer. I don't think she came up with anything valid that would have done that in any way whatsoever. Also, lots of people in the Bible in the Old Testament had visions from God in their dreams and FOLLOWED the instructions in their dreams...I don't know if I have that kind of faith. I want it, but that would take a whole lot. (I recently learned this about the Old Testament...I can't sit back and quote Leviticus, in case you're wondering.)

I've been thinking several I anxious? There's the normal stuff... bills, health of a loved one, driving (which I do everyday, it's not exactly a strength of mine) which make me anxious, but I really do not have problems. This spurred the question of what do other people dream...Obama, Michael Phelps, even my boss who has to make tough decisions all the time. What do people under real pressure dream? Actually, what is real pressure?? and what is the point of the pressure we put on ourselves when most of the time there is little we can control?

Feel free to comment, love to hear what you think...and to all 3 of the faithful blog followers, sorry I don't frequently post. I guess, I'm just not a blog-a-day kind of girl. I'll try to be better!

Matthew 6:25-27
25"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? 26Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?"

Thursday, January 8, 2009

NYD - why??

Okay, maybe I have a thing with acronyms (see previous post regarding OOTG), but I heard a new one last night and it caught my attention. NYD - New Years Depression. I was at a birthday dinner with 5 other girls and as soon as the term was brought to the table, I noted that we were all nodding in unison about the experience of NYD. Though the sources of NYD varied and the levels that it was experienced for this particular year were greater than others, I saw that we were or had been plagued by the NYD.

This leads me to ask...why? Wouldn't you agree that time of year we call "New Years" contradicts with the mental state we call "Depression". If I had to play that game where you say the first word that pops in your head after a phrase or word with "New Years" - I would probably say, "resolution". If I had to play it with "Depression" - I would probably say, "death". Okay, maybe not death, but nothing that goes with the word resolution. So, why?? Why the NYD? I don't think this NYD a new phenomenon. I also don't think it's because of the bad and getting worse economy we're dealing OR even with our realization that the extra candy and liquor we've consumed from November 26th-January 1st, has caused our pants to feel a little snug; so, again, I ask why? Why the NYD?

Last nights' champion in the "validity category" for NYD went to Ande Courtney. I'm sorry to use you here, Ande, but this story needs to be told. Afterall, your story is all you have or so says Benjamen Button, yes, everyone go see it. Anyway, Ande's NYD began when the venue that she was at on New Year's Eve didn't allow alcohol on the dance floor. Ande, always thinking outside the box, decides that she will get around this rule by putting a beer inside her purse. Long story short, the beer spills, the iPhone and camera break. Obviously, the NYD ensues promptly on January 1st. I've broken many a phone and lost many a camera, so I have complete empathy for this case of NYD. I guess it's not really NYD, it's more of something that I've suffered with since college, an ailment called, WPD, short for "I Wish I Could Stop Breaking all of my Possessions when I Drink Depression." I guess this example, doesn't completely fit the typical NYD mold, so I still ask, why...why the NYD?

The reasons could go on and on and on: the looming challenges of the new year, the awareness of how quickly time goes, the deliberation of which resolution to choose that will actually be effective, etc. etc. You know what I think it really is... this stress of the "clean slate" you are supposed to feel like you have at New Years. I am a huge advocate of the "clean slate" and have had to give myself several "clean slate" moments to move on in life, so I feel hypocritical in saying this, but, honestly, do we ever have a clean slate? I'm realizing that the second we are born the slate is clean and from that point forward the slate fills and all we can really do is process and move on. So, perhaps, it's the stress of wanting to feel like we should have this "clean slate" in order to better ourselves in the new year could have the potential to bring on the NYD. Who wants a clean slate, really? How boring, right? Everyone needs to litter up that slate and least a little bit. When they say "no alcohol on the dance floor", you say "oh there WILL be alcohol on that dance floor"...right, Ande? Right. Happy New Years, everyone.