Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Back to School

Man, I used to love going back to school. Yes, summers were amazing, but I was always ready to start a new fresh year. There is just so much excitement and promise there. You got to wear your new "school" clothes. Your football team hadn't lost any games yet. You hadn't made a bad grade on a test. I remember that feeling of possibility. The hope that there were new friends to be made, new young love might spark and of course, that you would make more rad memories with your best friends. With 10 year high school reunions this year, my nostalgia for high school, middle school and elementary has been at an all time high. I have found the cure to quench this nostalgia in the form of a pub crawl and I'd like to share it with you and ask you to join me.

And yes, I'm serious. 

Obviously, I'm still coping with the fact that I'm 28 and have to sit at a desk everyday. I'm not going to romanticize this: Growing up blows. (whew. someone is cynical today! sorry. bare with me.) It doesn't blow. It just sucks sometimes. No one can deny this. But, you know what helps that though?? (besides therapy, alcohol, drugs, denial, praying) For me that would be acting like you are NOT grown up. And how, you might ask do you accomplish this??? There are a lot of ways, but not all of them are healthy or socially acceptable, but something that always makes me feel sort of "brand new" if you will is........wait for it.....wait for it..........dressing up in 80's. That's correct- this pub crawl is 80's themed; hence, it's title, "Back to School: Return to Ridgemont High". If you don't know what Ridgemont High is then I suggest you google it and learn about an important time in our nation's history. Maybe dressing up in 80's just makes me feel like I'm NOT grown up because I used to really rock 80's hair in elementary. I don't know. Anyway, when else can you dress up in full 80's attire and hop on a school bus and go from bar to bar with a big group of your friends and/or strangers??? I don't really know if there is another time. It fills the little void of the longing for the true back to school.

How? Well:
a. you get to wear clothes that aren't new, but new to you! and they are really weird because they are 80s!
b. your football team still hasn't lost anything important yet 
c. eff tests! you don't have to take those anymore! 
d. the possibility of making new friends is pretty much a certainty 
e. new love could totally spark, unless you're married like me. i plan to ask my husband to serenade me with a variety of 80's love ballads. 
f. and rad memories are a given

The best part about ALL of this is NOT that it is going to help my quarter life crisis, but it is the fact that funds for this pub crawl are contributing to a very awesome cause. All the money raised is going towards high school seniors that want to go to college and can't afford it. They are selected through the Boys and Girls Club. (This organization, TYSO, was started by a group of my friends and you can find out more about it, how to volunteer or anything else, click on their website posted above.) It's way to easy for me to forget how blessed I am to have the opportunities that were given to me. No, my family is not the Rockefellers, but I never had to doubt that my parents could afford to send me to college. The fact that other kids have to worry about makes me sad. It's easy for me to live in a bubble. I will call it the fraternity and sorority bubble where almost everyone is well off or extremely well off. That's just not the norm, folks. Not that there is anything wrong with being well off, people work their whole lives to provide that life for their families! What I'm getting at is just the importance of being AWARE. The importance of giving. The importance of caring. This pub crawl (though it's going to be a lot of fun) reminds me of these things and I'm really excited and honored to be a part of it. 

So, break out your 80's prom dresses, google 80's movies poof up that 80's hair and let's do this. Ferris Bueller would be proud. 

Thursday, August 18, 2011

Last Friday Night

So, I like a cheesy pop song as much as the next girl. I know the lyrics are just fun and catchy and shouldn't read like a novel on the New York Times bestseller list. I guess it gets me when I'm just driving along totally agreeing with and "feeling" a song and then some lyrics slip in and I think "whaaatt?? why?? that's not how it is!!" For example the newish single from Katy Perry, Last Friday Night. I like the song. If I was in college, I'd love the song. Great college song. But some of these lyrics seem to cross the line just a tad for me. Below are the lyrics and I'll insert my commentary. 

There's a stranger in my bed, (okay, yes that happens in college...come on. we all know stories.)
There's a pounding my head (hangover duh! totally!)
Glitter all over the room (okay, i wore glitter lotion to a couple date parties. don't judge me)
Pink flamingos in the pool (guessing that's a California thing)
I smell like a minibar (oh the horror of waking up and smelling of vodka)
DJ's passed out in the yard (fancy party with a dj!)
Barbie's on the barbeque (yeah, you lost me)

There's a hickie or a bruise (well, that's slutty. but, let's be real, it happens.)
Pictures of last night
Ended up online
I'm screwed
Oh well (i've been struggling with this since freshmen year. then it was Party Pics. now it's Facebook. ugg.)
It's a black top blur
But I'm pretty sure it ruled (more like it's a blacked out blur and i'm pretty sure my anxiety is at an all time high)

Last Friday night
Yeah we danced on tabletops (not allowed in my sorority, but it's happened)
And we took too many shots ( uggg)
Think we kissed but I forgot (well, that doesn't make that person feel very good)

Last Friday night
Yeah we maxed our credit cards (all those shots??)
And got kicked out of the bar (ohhh THAT girl at the bar. too drunk to stand.)
So we hit the boulevard

Last Friday night
We went streaking in the park (never done it but great cliche college thing to do)
Skinny dipping in the dark (same with the streaking in the park)
Then had a menage a trois (now what??! thrown off. NO. this does NOT happen. and it's like no big deal like the same as taking to many shots. NO and NO. 
Last Friday night
Yeah I think we broke the law (again. NO no no. thrown off again. broke the law. like a DUI?? like loitering? how severe of a law are we talking?)
Always say we're gonna stop-op

This Friday night
Do it all again (the menage a trois and the breaking of the law???)
This Friday night
Do it all again (i think i would advise you not to do it again. especially if you want to run for office someday)

Trying to connect the dots
Don't know what to tell my boss (you work on Saturdays? that sucks. is it at the Sunglass Hut? someone will get that. ha. ) 
Think the city towed my car (yeah, that happens to almost everyone. i completely lost my car once.)
Chandelier is on the floor (okay, party causalities. that happens. broken glasses etc. chandelier is a little extreme, but i'm still on the same page.)
With my favorite party dress (who hasn't accidentally fallen asleep/passed out in your going out clothes?)
Warrants out for my arrest (again, NO, you lost me yet AGAIN. or am i dorky or should you not be getting wasted when there are warrants out for your arrest.)
Think I need a ginger ale
That was such an epic fail (wait. what was an epic fail? did she not get the ginger ale?)

Pictures of last night
Ended up online
I'm screwed
Oh well
It's a blacked out blur
But I'm pretty sure it ruled


Last Friday night
Yeah we danced on table tops
And we took too many shots
Think we kissed but I forgot

Last Friday night
Yeah we maxed our credits card
(bad credit is really no laughing matter in this economy)
And got kicked out of the bars
So we hit the boulevards

Last Friday night
We went streaking in the park
Skinny dipping int he dark
Then had a menage a trois
Yeah I think we broke the law
Always say we're gonna stop-op (no but really, you should stop. can't you just have a couple of casual cocktails with your friends??)
Oh whoa oh

This Friday night
Do it all again
Do it all again
This Friday night
Do it all again
Do it all again
This Friday night


Last Friday night
Yeah we danced on table tops
And we took too many shots
Think we kissed but I forgot (doesn't that get old? don't you want to KNOW who you are kissing??)

Last Friday night
Yeah we maxed our credit cards (you're never going to purchase a home. seriously. never.)
And got kicked out of the bar
So we hit the boulevard

Last Friday night
We went streaking in the park
Skinny dipping in the dark
Then had a menage a trois (oh just your normal Friday night routine again with the menage a trois. NORMAL.)

Last Friday night
Yeah I think we broke the law (i hope you're on an episode of COPS)
Always say we're gonna stop (obviously, you'll stop when you're in rebab)
This Friday night
Do it all again (okay. now you're just disgusting.)

Am I too old to listen to pop music?? Have I just never partied that hard?? Ugg. I'll have to save these riveting questions for later. My boss just gave me an assignment and then proceeded to leave. I love assignments at the end of the day. LOVE them. 

Emma Stone

Someone posted this on FB yesterday and I was reminded why she deserves the hype she's receiving lately. She's good. I love this little clip from Easy A.

hi there

Gosh, with the lack of posting, one would think that I went into hiding after The Bachelorette ended. I didn't. The Bachelor pad is on now. Duh. Even better! But, I'm wondering if I need to re-name this blog "Mediocre Re-caps of The Bachelorette". Looking at my last several posts if fair to say that The Bachelorette is taking over "up in hur". (bad rap joke).  (horrible rap joke). That rap song is old and a blog can't be really be a place, as the phrase "up in hur" alludes. So the horrible rap joke really makes no sense. pppppfffffttttttttt.

Speaking of rap. I like Anne Hathaway more and more lately. Maybe it's all those previews I've seen of her new flick "One Day" or maybe it's this....

I appreciate someone who doesn't have to look cool  and composed all the time. I also appreciate someone, who got terrible reviews hosting the Oscars, that can dust herself off and rap on Conan.

So, anyway, in case you're wondering, I am still living a normal life even though I've lost my weekly opportunity to scrutinize Ashley and her suitors. Actually, I'm at an even better place because, as I mentioned, I get to watch the train wreck that is The Bachelor Pad! Whew. I'm not even going to touch that one because I won't be able to stop. I'll just say, bless their hearts. All of the contestants on that show: Bless their hearts. p.s. I read on that Ames and Jackie broke up. Frowny face! They made my night last Monday!

Also, if you thought that was the biggest train wreck on TV, you'd be wrong because it's been topped by a new show on Bravo that premiered last Monday, called Most Eligible Dallas.

i cringe. 

Most Eligible Dallas makes The Bachelor Pad look like smart and award-winning TV. You know, like The Wire, Lost or The West Wing. No, I'm not kidding. Obviously, I love reality TV. Okay, I love bad reality TV. The Housewives of New Jersey. I love them. Rachel Zoe. YES. So when I say Most Eligible Dallas is hard to watch, I mean it. I'm not like Sarah that has despised reality all TV since it began. (Yes, she's always hated The Real World. How is that?? I went through years of Real World obsession. My mom used to say that is not the real world this is the real world. ohhhhh annoying mom comment.) As a reality TV lover, now I'm in this dilemma. Should I watch Most Eligible Dallas? Can I even take it? I think I will. I've already hopped on the crashing plane, so I may as well ride it. Plus, my office is buzzing about it because one of our former employees is on it. I need to be in the know, right?? Right. Am I justifying watching this to myself, my husband and the world? Maybe. Maaayyyyybe.

sidenote: In high school we were shoe polishing cars and I misspelled "maybe" in shoe polish on a car. I thought it was spelled "mabey". Who's the idiot now? Thank you New Mexico education systems. pppppffffffftttttt. At least the result of 3 of your friends dying laughing at your misspelled word displayed in shoe polish causes you NEVER to misspell it again. You live, you learn. You shoe polish, you learn. 

So yeah, today I'm posting just to say that I'm going back to posting about all random nothingness. 

Thanks for sticking around, hopefully some good times are ahead. ppppffffftttttt=a good time 

Monday, August 8, 2011

Bachelorette Season Seven: Finale Block - Conquered

Hi. So, I've been a bad blogger. I've not been blogging, plus I've failed to write a recap for the Bachelorette. You can't just start up and weekly thing on your blog and then stop it cold turkey on the week of the FINALE. I'm sure that breaks some sort of bloggers/blogging code.

The truth is that I'm having trouble wanting to recap the finale. Blah blah, JP, blah blah Ben, blah blah. I would call it writer's block, but I can't call these recaps that I do real writing, so I'll call it finale block. I've been having a raging case of Finale Block (yeah I'll just go ahead and capitalize it).

But, let it be stated here, that I'm not a quitter. I wanted to quit swimming in the 5th grade, but my mom and dad said that I couldn't. They said that, "I started it and I was going to finish it. I couldn't be a quitter." Lesson learned, it is not acceptable to quit just because you don't "want" to do something. I may have been disqualified for doing the breast stroke incorrectly at my next swim meet. #embarrassing. But, you know what, I slapped on that one piece speedo and swim cap and I didn't quit and somehow that mattered. So, you know what I'm going to do now, I'm going to slap on my speedo and I'm going to blog about Ashley, her sister (Girl with the Dragon Tattoo or something?), JP and Ben.

speedo on. 
can those get any more un-sexy?? i don't think so. 

On your mark, get set, diveeeeeee in! 

If I remember correctly, towards the beginning of the Finale, we see Ashley writing in her journal. Clearly written it said (I paused it, so I know) "I can't believe this day is finally here" I got the chills, but not in a good way. In a "this is so dumb" kind of way. I know we've seen that journal in at least one other episode, but it looks like she is just opened it, like this journal is an act, to try to prove to herself and us how important this whole thing is to her. It's so important that she's journaling! I journaled about my cat in 4th grade, it doesn't mean it's important. She also says how she feels like this process started years ago. So do we, honey. So. do. we.

Ashley's family is here to weigh in on the guys. Ashley assures us over and over that she is super close with her family and their opinion means everything to her. We've got mom, step-dad, little bro and last but not least duh, duh, duh SISTER. Not just any sister, it's Chrystie. Chrystie with a full tattoo sleeves and chest and back too. We know right away, this girl does not eff around. You don't ever expect a girl with that many tattoos to be "sweet". Yeah, it's just not in the cards. You know, this girl is going to bring something delusional to the table and she does not disappoint. Though I have to confess, I kind of liked her style?? Back to that later.

First up to "Meet the Parents" (haha) is JP. JP has been the clear front runner for a while. He's just got to seal the deal with the family and he is golden. Everything seems to be going along swimmingly, until the questions start flinging across the dinner table. Ashley is asked if JP makes her laugh. She's stumped. "Do you make me laugh?? I think I make myself laugh!!" Well, the sh#$ has now hit the fan, because Chrystie is not going to allow her sister to get in a relationship let alone marriage with a man that doesn't make her laugh. I guess, that's the issue?? This means that it's time for a private girls chat. Ashley, Chrystie and mom.

Chrystie just goes right in for the kill. I mean, no bedside manner here. She declares that JP is straight up NOT the one for Ashley. She just preaches it and she won't back down. At first, Ashley is like a deer in the headlights and wait...oh come the tears....

i'm so glad i've never been on tv crying.  i'm one of those ugly criers. 

Ashley is processing that her sister is not feeling JP....she feels alone....she's more confused. Chrystie just proceeds ruining everyone's life and isn't to sympathetic towards her bawling sister. 

Ashely goes down by to the beach with little bro (yeah, like he knows what to say). Then she talks to her step-dad who tells her to go with her heart. Eureka!!!!

Somewhere during this time, Chrystie has hunted down and captured JP. I want to close my eyes and look away. It's the same way I felt when the guys were Muay Thai boxing each other. Chrystie is about to verbally and emotionally box JP's face off and I'm not sure that I wanted to see it. Butttt, I really do. She proceeds to tell JP how wrong Ashley is for him. How he is too old and how Ashley is too much. That's just how Chrystie feels and nothing can change her mind. JP even drops the "L" word claiming he is in love with Ashley. Chrystie remains the Stone Cold Ice Princess and don't care. Honey badger don't give a shi#$, JP. 

JP tells the camera that this is "effed up". That Chrystie doesn't even know him. Oh and his heart is crushed because Chrystie claims that Ashley was more herself around Brad Womack than she is around JP. Did she really, Chrystie?? I mean, does Chrystie even KNOW her sister?? Who is the REAL Ashley?? Exhausting. 

JP and Ashley share an awkward, strained good-bye. Can Ashley and JP's love survive the worst family date that ever was??

Next up, we get the scene we've been waiting for....Ashley telling her sister that "she's being such a bitch!!" And her sister saying that Ashley just wants her sister to tell her what she wants to hear.

This is when I'll pause and say that I respect that Chyrstie didn't just tell her sister what she wanted to hear. I used to be a people pleaser...I would just tell people what they wanted to hear, even if it's not how I felt. I grew out of it, but tend to default back to it and sometimes I wish that I could be stronger and tougher like Chrystie. Well maybe not strong enough to get my whole body tattooed, but you know what I mean.  

Ashley and her sister really resolve nothing and it's time for Ben to come on over. Ashley warns Ben about her sister. Too bad, JP didn't get that heads up. Ben seems at ease with the family, everything is going great. Somehow, we get to the subject of their dog voices and they then DO their dog voices. I have a dog voice. Everyone has a dog voice. That doesn't mean it's not annoying. Dog voices are SO annoying. But, they both do their dog voices to a pretend dog. I get chills again, but it a bad way, as if my body is rejecting me watching this show. Regardless, I watch on.

Chrystie and Ben sit down to chat. She is definitely "feeling" Ben more than JP. I'm wondering if she just wants free wine?? Ben tells Chyrstie that he loves Ashley. I let out a sigh. Time for Ben to go home. This definitely was a smoother ride than JP's visit. It seems like Ashley wanted to get away from her family as soon as she could. Okay, Ben's gone?? See you later everyone!! Your opinion means a lot...I mean nothing!! But, I got you a free trip to Fiji, so whatever!!

Ben's last date is next. Ben is confident he is going all the way. The man is in love and shouting it from the rooftops. Their date went great too. The mud, the making out....Ben is planning to put a ring on it. He's also positive she's feeling it too.

Eekkk. Bless your heart, Ben. 

Now it's JP's last date. They immediately sit down to talk this whole "sister hating JP" bit out. Ashley says that any good relationship has to be questioned." Hmmm, never heard that one, but okay. JP gets it out that he is madly in love with her. They smooch. Then they go smooch on the beach and JP pulls off her wrap....whooo!! It's getting hot in here!!!

That night JP gives her an album of pictures of them together and a sweet letter. Does Fiji have a Walgreens?? Where did he get this album on the fly?? I'm just thinking if he gets dumped he's going to feel so dumb about that album. 

ABC still had me guessing, I wasn't sure who it was going to be....

The guys meet Neil Lane to pick out a ring. Ben couldn't be more sure about this. JP is like a frightened puppy. 

FINALLY. We are here the rose ceremony. I guess Ashley's dress choice is okay. I've seen her in more flattering numbers, but I guess she was attempting to look bridal, so it worked. She looks nervous. JP looks nervous. Ben is calm as a cucumber.

Here comes the little plane....who's it going to be??? Whoever is first usually goes home!!! And it's Ben. And this is when this show is just heartbreaking. What's worse than breaking up with someone?? Okay, a lot of things, but it's still pretty terrible. 

She makes it A MILLION TIMES worse though. Ben cuts her off when she starts talking and she doesn't stop him. She doesn't stop him until he is literally down on a knee asking her to make him the happiest man on earth. Awful. Excruciating. Painful. 

i can't watch
AHHH. i seriously cannot watch. 

Ben does not make her feel better about this either. She tries to tell him what a great and interesting guy he is. Like that helps. Salt in the wound, Ashley. Ben says, he hopes she and JP have a nice life together. OUCH. Ben walks away. It really was heartbreaking. He did not see that one coming. I think he'll be better off offense to Ashley.

NEWAYZ, Ashley switches her emotions to devastated about Ben to elated about JP. How does she do that? 

JP steps out of the tiny plane. Greeted by Chris Harrison. How bad do you think Chris Harrison wants to tell him, "You won, man!!!" He walks to Ashley. We know the rest.....He loves her. She loves him. He's taking a leap of faith. I love you, baby. etc. etc.



I guess, when your love life reflects an REO Speedwagon song on The Bachelorette, it means you've made it. 

Thanks for taking us on your "journey" Ashley, Chris Harrison, JP, Ben, Ames, Texas Guy, Blake the dentist, Mickey, William, Personal Trainer, Guy with the Mask and all of you suitors. You made my Monday nights a wild ride of drama and self loathing...a combo you can't find just anywhere! 

And don't forget, Bachelor Pad tonight!! Robert has already declared that he's out on this one....we'll see if that lasts :)

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

New Blogs up in here

Added to my list....

Religion Matters  - found via Facebook, written by a guy that Sarah went to law school with who once had the most brilliant/hilarious Halloween costumes I've ever seen. See below. He was a woman flight attendant. There we are reenacting a ladies luncheon.

Next blog....Manolos and Martinis. A daily does of fashion, food and all things fabulous! Recommended by a very fabulous and fun friend Ande Le Courtney. 

Saving the BEST for LAST, my little sister has started a fashion blog and it's awesome. Runs with lipstick. Great tips with hilarious insight. I love it! Follow along, you'll love it too. I predict she's going to make some waves in the fashion world in some capacity one of these days. 

little sis in lipstick right there. 

Oh Ben F. you winemaker, you

If I was one of those people that had extra money, I'd buy a case of Ben's wine. She let him get down on a knee and propose??!!! That's when you INTERRUPT. ppppfffffttttttttt.

Check out Ben's day job. Lucky SOB :)  (gracias Miss Ashley Edwards)

Still haven't watched "After The Final Rose", but I will start to recap shortly about what went down at Vomo Island, Fiji.

Monday, August 1, 2011

Bachelorette Season Seven: "It's not everyday that the Men Tell All." -me (and I was serious)

I love the Men Tell All/Women Tell All. It's just that final time for everyone to say what they wished they would have said. In life you usually can't do this. On reality TV you can.

I am always shocked at how the audience grows with each season at these things. I swear at the first one, they dragged like 20 people off the streets of L.A., now they are in like a stadium with 100 lucky individuals intently listening to every word like this is Oprah's last show.

I'm just going to say I was pretty satisfied with the whole episode. Tim, the boozer, in his t-shirt, full tatted arm and heavy accent. Ames in his mis-shapen forehead, ill-fitting polo (he has size issues) and somehow still very cute and intelligent demeanor. Random Sports Marketing guy from Chicago telling Bentley to "Go F$#! himself." Awesome. Ryan P. with his perma-smile. Nick the personal trainer being Dr. Phil and interjecting about every single incident.

I probably could go on...but I have dinner with the in-laws tonight and must be off. Finale and After the Final Rose is already recorded...don't you worry.




rise and shine

Do you ever worry about yourself? Like wondered..."Do I drink too much?", "Am I normal?", "Do other people think this way?"

I've been doing that a lot lately. With multiple things.

It came to a head this morning with a certain issue.

Robert kissed me good-bye. I was still in bed sleeping. I thought I'd catch a couple more minutes worth of zzz's and wake up and get this party started. This party being - Monday. lol. Did I wake up in a couple minutes? No, no I did not. I woke up at 10:21 a.m. to be precise. I'm supposed to be a work by 9. I stretch this a lot. I'm not a morning person. Sometimes, I roll on in at 9:30..okay, okay 9:45 even. #lazy #ugg I really would love to be a morning person. I would! And I dabble in it. An early yoga class every now and then. But, do I commit to the true morning person lifestyle? Never.

So, you would think I'd be staying up late, right? Not a morning person clearly should=a night owl. A night owl doing things like, like writing a novel or cleaning or SOMETHING. The thing is, I'm not a night person either. You know what I am. A person that likes to sleep. A LOT. Kill me. Sue me.

So a question I've been pondering for sometime and something I've been worrying about for myself is "Do I sleep too much?" and "When am I going to grow up and "not be able to sleep-in" like so many of my friends?" 

I'm a sleeping-in gold medalist. Not only sleeping in, just sleep in general. I can go to bed at 10 and sleep til 10. No. problem.

This hasn't always been the case. When I was little, first one up at slumber parties. SO annoying. In high school, I was never one to sleep in really late. In college, I definitely slept less. What is with all this sleeping?? I'm yawning as I type this too. pppppfffffffftttttttttt.

So, yeah, I wake up at 10:21 from this hard sleep. I look at the clock and I am just like- SHOOT. I immediately call the office. They were worried and had already called twice. I roll in to work at 10:50ish.

GREAT way to start of the week, GREAT.

Also, on a semi-serious note. I worry about the future. Babies=no sleep. My mommy friends have told me that God just gives you strength to do it. God is going to have to get me a double power surge of that strength. And, I need to find a new job. I don't think they are going to be as cool with me rolling up whenever I can pry open my eyes.

I'm 28, I've been at my job for 5 years and sleep til 10:20. You'd think I'd be used to this whole routine by now.