Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Cindy Shaeffer and Marie Sandoval

Who ARE they?

I’ll start at the beginning.

I went to two colleges, two Big 12 schools. Two years at OU, three at Texas Tech. (Yes, I took a victory lap
aka 5th year.)Going to two schools is confusing for people because nobody knows how to label me. Our society loves to label if you think about it. She’s an OU Kappa…she’s a Tech Kappa. He went to Highland Park, he went to Plano. So, what am I? What emblem do I stick on my car? Who do I root for? HELP. Anyway, I am a Sooner and a Raider – whatever I’m just a human being, but because I went to two schools, I’m friends with both Texas Tech peeps and OU peeps on the ol’ Facebook. This makes Jamie jealous because I have more friends (in life and on Facebook) than her, but it’s also caused me to be aware of two scandals. At the heart of these two totally unrelated scandals: Cindy Shaeffer and Marie Sandoval.

Cindy Shaeffer or Shaeffergate as I’ll now call it is the Texas Tech controversy. About six months ago, I got a friend request from Cindy Shaeffer. I don’t know a Cindy Shaeffer. I knew I didn’t know her. Then I see on my newsfeed that a big chunk of my facebook friends from Tech are friending Cindy. Hmmm. Okay, maybe I know her. Maybe she was a Kappa. I can see her info, her profile looks legit. Her pic looks normal, a little too serious for my taste, she’s making a seductive face, but just like a normal brunette girl.  I still ignore the friend request. This is unlike me, I’d usually just friend her. GOOD THING that I didn’t.  A couple weeks after I get Cindy’s request, I see a status update by a friend of mine that I used to work with at Harold’s; it said something along the lines of, “Don’t friend Cindy Shaeffer. It’s not a real person, but a stalker that’s trying to get to a friend of mine that went to Tech. The police are involved. Drama.”  What on earth. How strange…a false Cindy Shaeffer? Police?  Yet her profile still exists and our friendship is still pending and we have 37 friends in common.  What is going on? Unsolved Mystery….

Now, we’ll move to Marie Sandoval. She is OU’s recent Cindy Shaeffer. She’s friending everyone that I knew or remotely knew from OU, yet no one knows her. As John Zimmerman would blog, “Who in the eff is Marie Sandoval?” I accepted her friendship because some of the younger OU Kappas were doing it, so I thought it was safe. We are friends, Marie Sandoval and I. She’s currently living in Chicago. This is her profile pic.

Who are you, Marie? And why, WHY are you friending people you don’t know? It’s creepy. Facebook is to stalk the people that you at least know. Did you not get that memo, Marie? Don’t pull a Cindy Shaeffer and freak everyone out. Isn’t the world full of enough uncertainty? Let’s just keep it pure on Facebook, Marie. Some of us just want to social network in peace. I'm not even going to begin to comment on the profile pic....

Monday, April 5, 2010

A Serious Matter

One of my friends, who I fondly call Rhon (some of you may know her as Ande Courtney) asked me once what it was like being married. The response that I gave her was something along the lines of…it’s great, you do everything together and it’s just a lot of fun to come home to someone that you love. All of this is completely true, but more and more I’m realizing the biggest difference from single life to married life for me is SPORTS.  What is it like to be married? Just like being single but with ESPN in the background instead of Bravo.
I used to think I knew a little about sports. I now know that I know nothing about sports. I used to think I watched sports when there was something going on in the sports world. No, I never really “watched” sports. Robert’s knowledge of sports never ceases to amaze me. The stats, the memory of games, players, it makes me feel brain dead. I don’t know about anything, even like Disney movies, the way that Robert knows sports. Sports Illustrated, sports blogs, fantasy leagues. There is a constant stream of sports info circulating throughout the world, that being a girl, the kind of girl that likes pink and never had a brother, I just really haven’t been aware of until now.
Anyway,  call me a sports degenerate but I didn’t know that people took off of work to go to the opening day of baseball. Robert is at the Rangers game right now with a group of friends. I think it sounds like fun idea, yay baseball -taking off work to see this inauguration of the first baseball game of 2010. Who knew? 

I know I'm new at this wife stuff, but I'm learning slowly. Sports, not just a game, a serious matter. 

Friday, April 2, 2010


Last winter was long. The cold stuck around longer than usual and brought Dallas an odd thing called snow that we’re not too used to round these parts. Last winter was also so good for me personally. During last winter I went from Neal to Scarff – from Uptown to Lakewood – from working with Mary to just working (that was the not good part-miss that dork) and from not cooking to “Culinary Adventures”.  

winter outside our window

I'm a Scarff 

Mary dealmaking at RPI

As The Byrds, so eloquently sung on The Forest Gump soundtrack, “To everything, turn, turn, turn, there is a season, turn, turn. “ Though the tune is actually adapted from Eclesiastes 3 Rather beautiful...

Now, according to all of the albums that have been posted on Facebook, “Spring had Sprung”  and many have “Spring Fever” . The season has changed and it feels good to feel the sun again and not wish that I had my ski jacket on if I leave the house.  But, now that the winter has passed and another season is here, I feel that I can reflect on the winter a bit; it was quite a season in my life. Quite wonderful, quite full, quite transforming. Spring has started off with good times too, but a theme that I’m seeing for me so far that keeps showing up over in my life is resistance. It sounds off I know. Coming from the transformation of last winter and being at a good place in my life, I feel the theme of resistance in so many areas.

A Sunstone Yoga Studio opened across the street from our place. As I’ve blogged about before, I love the hot yoga. The hot yoga I feel in love with was Bikram Yoga, a little different than what they do at Sunstone, but they do a special where they invite first timers to participate in $10 for 10 days of yoga.  I tried Sunstone in 2006, but I have a new name now, so surely I could get the deal again. Yeah right, they traced me, I had to pay $18 for 10 days. Anyway, I knew that my body was craving a good stretch and detox, I knew my mind needed a vacation from everything else, still, after I’d signed up for my 10 days, I was reluctant to go. (The 10 days start the first day you go, not the day you sign up.) I had been telling Robert, “You’ve got to make me go. Just make me.” So Saturday rolls around, we get up and Robert says, “Go to the 10:00 yoga class. I’m making you.” He’s sort of joking, but I’m annoyed and openly sulking and whining because I really don’t feel like it, but I’m feeling guilty because I paid the money and I did tell him to “make me” go. So, I put on my yoga clothes and I walk on over to the studio, still not in a good state of mind. The class and the people at the studio melted that state of mind completely away and I left that class feeling renewed, refreshed, engergized. Why was I so resistant to go?  Why do we not want to do things sometimes that we know would be good? There’s lots of reasons and for me lots of excuses I could come up with, but this time around I’m glad I pushed through the resistance and I went to yoga. Also as I’ve continued to go to yoga, the word resistance keeps popping up again during class…”push through the resistance in the postures” – “feel the resistance in your muscles during stretches” – Resistance, physical, mental – I’m experiencing it.

Right before spring got here and we had the weird March snow storm, I recognized some major resistance in my heart to forgive. My few readers know the story that’s left a scar on my heart much deeper than any break-up or hardship ever has. Basically, it’s just a separation from one of my best friends from high school. We were great friends and things happened, I’m not sure if I did something or if she did, but feelings were hurt and we’re just not in each others lives anymore. This stuff doesn’t happen to me. I don’t have “issues” with people, I rarely have fights or confrontations with anyone (except Sarah…ha). But, I’ve had an issue about this and time has passed and I noticed that when this person comes up in my life. I get a lump in my throat and want to cry. I don’t know if it’s because we’re not friends anymore and I miss that or because I can’t forgive the past and keep replaying the hurtful parts on repeat in my head. All I know is that I’ve had a hard time with it. During the March blizzard weekend, this person came to Dallas to celebrate my bf’s Lauren’s engagement. We are both bridemaids in Lauren’s wedding and had a weekend planned with bridesmaid dress shopping and celebrating all together. I was prepared to be happy and kind to her and put any issue aside, because this weekend was about Lauren and celebrating her and her fiances’ love. Why couldn’t I forgive, truly? I could act the part, but in my head and heart, I wasn’t planning to truly forgive and I knew it. Why was I so resistant?

Today, being a follower of Christ (though my life reflects this maybe 1% of the time) I’m reminded of what happened so many years ago. I’m reminded how he was crucified. I’m reminded how one of his dearest friends and disciples, Peter , who swore he would stand by him through everything, denied knowing Jesus, not one, but three times. And, most importantly, I’m reminded of Jesus’ words on the cross, “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.” Jesus forgave those who were crucifying Him; how, then, how can I not forgive completely and wholly?  

After talking to Sarah and Robert about this person coming to Dallas and they both know that I’ve really been hanging on to hurt , they encouraged me to really let it go. Really move forward and really be friends. I think I finally did. The past is the past. Maybe she hurt my feelings and maybe I hurt hers. I pray she can forgive me and I pray I have truly forgiven her with all of my heart. A small, minuscule step towards how I can be a true follower of Christ.  

I’ll leave you with this Psalm 51 I read a couple weekes ago. I thought it was perfect for spring.

10 Create in me a pure heart, O God, 
       and renew a steadfast spirit within me.

 11 Do not cast me from your presence 
       or take your Holy Spirit from me.

 12 Restore to me the joy of your salvation 
       and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.

Create- Renew- Restore- Joy- Grant- Sustain, what great great words. I am really feeling that I need that renewal of the "steadfast spirit within me" lately. 

Happy Easter everyone, celebrate that Christ rose from the grave. A true miracle that my faith stands on, though I rarely think about it. Also, eat lots of Easter candy, prefferably Reese’s eggs ;)