Wednesday, December 14, 2011

this is not a drill - Suri Envy - Year End Re-cap had a little slideshow on "Suri's Five and Fabulous Year". I gasped upon seeing it and immediately felt the Suri Envy swirling inside of me.

Let's begin....

Is she Rachel Zoe?? Who can get away with hats?? And she has a clutch?? At least she is playing with a baby doll. That is a normal 5 year old thing to do. As for the shoes...the ones on the left are too matchy matchy and the ones on the right are a little "Golden Girls". Is Suri slipping?? She better get it together. No one likes to end up on the last pages of US Weekly.

"Oh, no big deal!! Here I am at Miami Beach in my Ray Bans!! I'm just going to jump in the ocean in my clothes!!"- Suri's caption on this was "mo' money, mo' haagen-dazs". I thought that was pretty funny. I think Suri is saying, "What are these, dad?? Ones?? I like the One hundreds better."

Here's Suri and Mom on one of Dad's film sets. Suri is grabbing a bite with her legs crossed. So proper for a 5 year old. I bet she's already read all of the Emily Post books. 

Just another normal day for Suri testing out lipstick shades. Lipstick? Seriously?? I was afraid of real lipstick until college.

And here's Suri WEARING lipstick and toting a magazine. I'm guessing it's W or Haper's Bazaar...maybe Vanity Fair. 

For some reason this is causing me to have flashbacks from the Pretty Woman shopping scene. Where's Richard Gere? When does Suri ask the salesman for his tie??

Omg, you BABY, with a PACI!!!! That is so not chic. The lavender converse are a little juvenile too, but the pea coat evens it out. Oh but then the teddy bear shows her age. Must have been an off day? Maybe the NASDAQ was down? Maybe she had to cancel her weekly mani/pedi or acupuncture appointment? 

Suri, put down the $10,000.00 bag. Just put it down. Other kids your age just have a backpack with their name monogrammed on it. 

What will next year bring?? 6 can be a pivotal year. Hello, first grade!!! Suri goes to Elementary School. She'll probably have her own Bravo show documenting this. 


Jamie said...

I didn't know 5 year olds still took paci's? Where's Suri's bottle and bib?

Robert said...

Do you think Suri is afraid of her dad yet?

alexis scarff said...

where's Suri's diaper? how am i making fun of a 5 year old? ha. i think Suri will become fully afraid of her dad when she can comprehend what Scientology is. "you believe what, dad? but, dad, that sounds like a fairy tale??"