Friday, March 25, 2011

Grave Errors

So, I've been on Facebook quite a while. I think it was 2005 when Jenny kept telling me that I "HAD to get on it". I did and I've had a love/hate relationship with it ever since.

That being said, I think I've learned to navigate the waters of Facebook pretty well. As a well versed user I've learned what kind of statuses you should comment on and what kind of statues you should pretend like you don't see. I am embarrassed to admit that I'm regressing and have made some major mis-steps in status commenting with painful results.

Example One:

Girl I had a Class With
Friends in the Dallas Fort Worth Area: Some friends of mine will be visiting DFW for 2 days. They are from San Diego. I want to share with them the best of the Lone Star State, so it's time for me to back up all of my shit talking and show why I think Texas is the best place ever- please tell me your favorites and give me your thoughts on places to see, eat, visit and stay. She's specifically asked about bbq...

Nothing would be wrong with commenting on the status if this was a good friend of mine. Although a good friend of mine wouldn't have a status like this and would send out an email about it like a normal person. This is a status of a girl that I hardly know that I had a class with at Tech. I don't even know how to pronounce her last name. I don't even creep on her profile. This is completely a status that you "pretend like you don't see". BUT, for some unknown reason, I felt compelled to answer because I do, indeed, live in the Dallas Fort Worth Area.

my response:

Alexis Scarff they must get Tex Mex :). Joe T. Garcia's in Fort Worth or Mi Cocina all over the DFW area.

Have I even been to Joe T.'s? The answer is no. But, I hear it's great, so I can recommend it to these strangers. 

Then she hits me with this:

Girl I had a Class With I love Mi Cocina - When I lived there I would get their beef fajita nachos. There Guac is sooo good. Do you think Mi Cocina or Gloria's??

Seriously? I don't know? Wait- ummm, you've lived here?? Why are you asking for advice on where to go? But, now, I have to answer. It's like she can see me. 

i reply:

Alexis Scarff i lean towards Mi Co because they're true Tex Mex, Gloria's leans a little more towards the Latin side?? both great though!! Gloria's is a little cheaper, but i would say Mi Co has better ritas! i know way to much about this. haha.

First of all, what am I even talking about? True Tex Mex? Latin side?? What? I know we have no mutual friends that would see this exchange and endlessly berate me for such lame I go on. I accidentally misuse the word "to", it should be "too" and throw in the "haha" and hope and pray that my duty here is done and I'm not asked anymore about Mexican food in the Dallas Fort Worth Area.

THEN, another comment from one of HER friends that feel compelled to share their opinion: 

EraDee Hernandez Ah the best Mexican is herrera's!

Is this a debate? I solemnly swear to myself at this point that I am never, never, ever commenting on a status like this as long as I live. Oh yeah and now someone with the last name of Hernandez is giving advice. Like I can compete with that. Tell your San Diego friends to go to Herrera's. Tell them to go to On the Border, I don't know you, nor do I know them, but now because Facebook does such a good job at "connecting people" I find myself taking this personally. Should I reply taking up for Mi Cocina? I decide definitely NOT. I'm so done with commenting on this status. SO. DONE. sodone. 

Then we get another random with an opinion: 

Mehgan Renee DeProspero I like Blue Mesa and La Hacienda Ranch for Mexican, if there aren't enough choices already!=)

Now, I want to throw my computer. Hey, Mehgan, guess what, there ARE enough choices already. 

And the grand finale:

Kaycee Johns I agree with Blue Mesa only for the brunch one miday... they have a huge buffet of mexican favs & all you can drink Bellinis!!! For other meals go to; find the show Diners Drive Ins; Dives with Guy Fieti & they have like 8 places between Dallas/Ft.Worth the show has been to. As for night life.... I've been out of the scene too long to know the hot spots:(

Blue Mesa specifics? Did anyone ask that? No. Now, you're just showing off. And his name is Guy Fieri and he hangs out with Matthew McConaughey, I bet you didn't know that Kaycee Johns. Also, no one asked about night life. Oh and you've been out of the scene? What does that mean? Probably that you've had a baby and you're way to mature to know about "night life". 

The torture finally ends there. I feel like I learned my lesson. No. No, I didn't.

Example Two:

My sister's bestie (and basically my little bro. Ryan, i love ya!) comments this on her wall:

Why don't I just smile at his comment, mind my own business and move on. No, no. I have to comment.

i comment:

Alexis Scarff you would judge my work outfits so bad. i wear pants from 2001 sometimes. eeekkk.

No one. I repeat - no one should know this about me. It's just something I should keep to myself.

Ryan McGonagill i think pants/neutral work shirts are ok to reuse. but you can not rewear a detailed sweater than i am positive i bought from CK in 2009!

Oh Ryan, bless you for trying to make me feel better.

then my sister's other friend comments:

Jordie McGilvray i think 2001 was too long ago alexis! UPDATE! ten years is too long. also good for you for staying the same size for ten years!

Jordie, I just adore you. You're the cutest thing ever. But, I am feeling bad at this point because I'm causing my sister's friends to really worry about me and my fashion. I mean, Jordie used all caps and an exclamation point. UPDATE! HURRY! And I haven't been the same size, I've gone up and down and up again, I think those work pants are basically like sweats. They just fit. 

I waited 3 days to reply. Let my humiliation fade a little. 

then I commment:

Alexis Scarff I've done a little updating, dont worry :) I just thought i would wear cute office clothes, buuttttt thats not what's happened the last couple years. Like I would be a perfect candidate for "what not to wear" on a normal work day.

I really would. If that show saw me on the street, they would send me to New York stat. I think it just stems from the comfort here at my office. If I had to step up my game, you better believe, I would step up my game. That's why God made credit cards and mothers :). 

then Ryan, the angle from above comments:

Ryan McGonagill LOL omg. i highly doubt that. you have a classy style!

I'm classy! I'm Helen Mirren to these sweet innocent 19 year olds and if Ryan thinks I have a classy style, then all is right in the world. 

It might be a long time til I have the bravery to step up and comment again. "Liking" is another story.

The End


Cherri "Bing" Hight said...

I know this is an older blog post, and you don't know me...but this cracked me the hell UP! Hilarious.

alexis scarff said...

haha...thanks, Cherri!! We are blog friends, we know each other :)