Bachelorette Season Six: Castles...lots of Castles

Due to the holiday week you would think that maybe we could skip the Bachelorette. Really who cares about the Bachelorette when you’re recovering from the 4th? Well, I will tell you who cares. I CARE. I care about the freaking Bachelorette and I can't stop. Monday night, I was in my hometown of Carlsbad, New Mexico and realized that I had missed Monday’s riveting episode because I was at dinner with a bunch of relatives. Panic arose and then relief quickly followed when I remembered we could watch the full episode with limited commercials on abc.com. Crisis averted, I will see what Ali and the boys do in Portugal. Phew. Luckily, we did manage to catch the end of the Jake/Vienna feud on Monday night. What on earth? We’ll have to go into that more later on because it’s too painful not to further analyze.

For now, let’s focus on my husband's favorite human being, Ali....

keep smiling, Roberto.

Wooo hooo Ali! Breaking out the sequined mini skirt on the date with Roberto! Caliente! If that doesn’t say it all, I’m not sure what does. Please think of the sequined skirt compared to what she wore with Chris L. Chris L. got jeans and tennis shoes, Roberto got the sequined mini. Based on the clothes choice alone, it’s clear where she feels the heat and where she doesn’t. In Chris L.’s defense, I guess, you couldn’t exactly wear a sequined mini on a moped. I digress.

Ali says something along the lines of “this is what it would be like in real life” during her date with Roberto when they were taking pictures of each other walking around Portugal. Statements like this make me worry about her a little. Unless you are Gwenyth Paltrow, romping around European countries taking pictures of each other jumping off of a bench isn’t going to be a part of “real life”, nor is sitting a top a castle sipping red wine. Going to the grocery store, pay bills, driving to work, cleaning….this is real life. When Ali and Roberto can giggle their way through that then we can talk about “real life”. That was a little harsh. Sorry.

giggle giggle

Back to the giggling… Ali hearts Roberto.  She wonders aloud to him if he is too good to be true. I personally think that there are genuine budding feelings of like/love from that statement. From my personal experience, when I met MY Roberto, at first I was waiting for the bubble to burst. The way I felt about him and who he was an answered prayer. Way too good to be true. The thoughts of doubt bubbled up: Was he going to break my heart? Was he too good to be true? Turns out he wasn’t. He is my prince charming. So, you just may be right, Ali, sometimes love IS a fairytale. You married ladies out there feel me…you single gals can stop gagging yourself, BUT just wait til you fall for that guy. You’ll get it. You may not be dancing in the street in Portugal with an ABC camera crew following, but you’ll get it.

We’ll have to see how the hometown business goes with Roberto. Ali needs to act a little cooler in front of him. The girl has no game with Roberto. Clearly, the guys are all competing for her, so she doesn’t really need to play “hard to get”, but let’s have some self respect here. She continuously compliments him, which is nice and I guess honest of her, but their dialogue has to get a little be deeper than talking about how good looking and nice Roberto is if she wants to marry this Latin lover at the end of the day.

Do you think Ali had a thing for Enrique Iglesias? Ricky Martin? Or did her attraction for the exotic begin with Roberto? Is that politically correct to say? Sarah, do you think I’m racist against Latinos now?

Enough of that, let’s talk a little about awkwardness that was the date with Frank and Ty. 

Ali asks if she can get some wine at the beginning of the dinner. I think I might have asked for liquor. 

Ty is clearly going home. Also, Ty is clearly NOT on board with Ali’s desire to have a career. When they talk about it, I feel like he has his fingers crossed behind his back.  And you know what, it’s okay, he should just keep his gender role views.  I have a feeling that down south Ty won’t have a problem finding someone who doesn’t want to work about just wants to be a wife. Just a shot in the dark there….

Frank continues his intensity with the big reveal that he lives with his parents. Not too climatic. Ali isn’t phased. Frank sheds a tear about the closeness of his family now that he’s back home. Thank God this date is over.

How about those previews with Frank, the girl in the hotel room?? Scandalous, Frank. This will be excellent material for the screenplay you are writing.

Sooo, Ali’s next date is with Kirk.

i survived asbestos! 

How can you not like Kirk? Kirk is my fave. Ali and Kirk have a great date…lunch with beer, horse carriage to the castle with wine…then a costume change and then have dinner together. I felt sorry for Kirk a little because Ali said she had a lot on her mind during her date with him. Kirk totally rolled with it though and handled it perfectly. He wasn’t overbearing or put out, just happy to spend time with her. Honestly, any girl on any given day can have a lot on her mind and a lot on her plate, so to see the way that Kirk reacted to it proved to me what kind of a guy he was. Plus, he always brings it home in the talks that they have. I never expect him to say the things that come out of his mouth. They aren’t cheesy or too serious, but they are exactly what I would want to hear if I were Ali. He’s not psycho like Casey or completely aloof like Craig M., he’s just on point.

If Ali picks Kirk, I will officially like her forever. Nail in the coffin, I will like Ali. For now, I will go on semi-liking her sometimes.

Last but not least, Chris L.’s date at the winery….

keep drinking, Ali. 

Chris L., poor Chris L. Chris L. is so Tenley. (If you watched Jake’s season, you’ll know what I mean.) Tenley was the first runner up to the illustrious, Vienna. Tenly was a scene out of Snow White and Vienna was a scene from Wild Things. (GREAT choice, Jake!) Anyway, I’m thinking, the producers set them up in a winery because, let’s be real, if you don’t like someone after a bottle of wine, then you are NOT attracted to them. But, Chris L. threw a curve ball and gave her a bracelet that is special because it was made by the jeweler that made a lot of the jewelry his dad gave to his mom. This sort of made me tear up, the whole losing the Mom thing. Just stop it Chris L. I like Chris L., but I don’t think Ali does enough to make him “the one”. Maybe someone can hook him up with Tenley?

That’s all I’ve got on A. Fedotowsky…….coming next week. HOMETOWNS!! Who’s excited?

Also, be watching tomorrow for.......drumroll..... Bachelorette Season Six: SPECIAL – Jake vs. Vienna, The Break-up Interview. 

train wreck. 5 car pile up. call the ambulance. i can't look away.