Friday, July 30, 2010

Theory

Last Tuesday our electricity went out. After calling the electric company and learning it probably wasn't going to be on for hours, we decided to go see a movie. Nothing was playing except for Despicable Me and we just weren't in the mood for that business, so we decided to go to Barnes and Noble and loiter. I felt so "college". I loved book stores in college, I think they made me feel productive even when I wasn't. During this trip to the book store I discovered that Chelsea Handler has another book out. (Rhonda, I'm sure you've already read it. Rhonda has been to a book signing of Chelsea's and met her. Chelsea told Rhonda that she liked her shirt. Yes, true life.)

Anyway, upon this observation, I began to think..."Chelsea Handler can crank out three books? Why oh why can't I??" Granted, Chelsea has her "people" working for her, a show on E, is a successful stand up comedian, has great BS, Chuy and many other things I don't possess, but really why can't I do that too??

Today it hit me why.

If you know anything about Chelsea, you know that the girl likes to have a cocktail (or two). Nothing wrong with that. Last night, I had a cocktail (or two) and today, I'm not feeling my best, but my mind is sort of jiggly and free from last nights flooding of alcohol and oddly I'm in the mood to just write. I always want to write, but I also always care what people will think, I care a lot less right now and I choose to attribute that to the pinot and vodka last night. So that's it, Chelsea's freaking hangovers are helping her crank out these best sellers.

Are you there vodka, it's me, Alexis? ppppffffffttttttttttt.


no



big


deal

(okay, maybe i'm glad i don't have a book of memories of one night stands. blame that one on the vodka to, Chels.)

2 comments:

Ande said...

life is so much easier the morning after drinking...until the alcohol wears off. oh what boss man, you need those tps reports in 20 minutes? no problem. (laughing inside about the night before..still feeling drunk.... then, the inevitable hangover sets in and you think: FML.

oh if everyday we felt like that..well, the pre-hangover portion.

i totally agree with you about chelsea- that woman has something to say, and she doesn't care who hears. funny, funny lady.

and yes, my dear, i have read her 3rd installment. the first 2 are much better. i think this last one was all about the $.

alexis scarff said...

hahahaha. you're so right. it's easy for like an hour and then reality hits and you want to poke yourself in the eye. does Chelsea feel this way?? she really is quite funny. i wouldn't mind giving one of her books a whirl.