Bachelorette Season Six: The limo pulls up and Ali meets the men….

I do not want to watch The Bachelorette. I know I could be doing something more valuable with my Monday nights, such as: attending philanthropy events like Adrienne and Kyle (see Adrienne’s facebook), reading to the blind, donating blood or maybe even just switching to the History channel, BUT, alas, I cannot calm this urge that lies deep inside of me that wants Ali to find love. So, I will tune in faithfully every Monday to see this journey and here exclusively on pppffffftttttt you will find the Scarff recap of – The Bachelorette Season Six……hold onto your seats, this is going to be one wild ride.

Right off the bat, I want to say that durning the last season of The Bachelor: On the Wings of Love, I waivered on my feelings about Ali. I liked her, I didn’t like her, I liked her and then finally didn’t like her. When they brought her back on the “Women Tell All” episode, Robert and I thought she was getting off on the fact that she was “America’s Sweetheart” after she was so upset about chosing her job over Jake, then regretted it, but Jake had already lost his virginity to Vienna, so he didn't care about Ali anymore and she had to live her her decision. Gulp. Almost like, real life! Ahh! (sidenote: Robert and I are really critical, especially Robert. The man gets mad at the Horns if they are winning but not “playing well”. Men. Pppfffftttt. Haha.) 

Back to Ali, Monday’s episode left me liking her. True, I did feel some intense third party awkwardness for her during some of her introductions with the guys, but for the most part, I found her to be kind towards every guy, well spoken and basically just cute. Her hair extensions are working for her, she had that California girl tan and she looked comfortable in her dress, which is key.  

Now, onto the guys. Whew, we’ve got some doozies that I’m excited about this season.  Weather guy from Houston, entertainment wrestler from Canada, just to name a couple. The antics they pulled out to get Ali to remember them were impressive. Lots of props. A rose, a paper rose, some guy welded something in a little box? They even used the limo as a prop. One jumped out of the sunroof, another went out the opposite door and jumped on the trunk of the limo. The limo driver has got to be rolling his eyes at these idiots. I would say the gold medalist of props was the guy that made the scrapbook. I think he even beats out the guy, who I already predict will be the token “funny guy”, that broke out a tune on his ukelele. It was exhausting to watch these guys pull out every stop so they could stick on Ali’s mind. Roberto, the spicy Latin from South Carolina defintely scored with the salsa dancing (no prop needed) with Ali and received the ever-so-covetted, First Impression Rose. Yes, I will capitalize that.

This isn’t as fresh on my mind as I’d like and I wish that I had my initial feedback to everything, woke up Tuesday morning ready to go. I didn't get there, so, with the help of abc.com, I’m going to give you some lingering thoughts on Ali's suitors…

Here we have Craig M. I can’t tell you too much about Craig M. except he’s definitely a prick. I will say, I appreciate the “call it like you see it” way he says things.  About the guy that made the scrapbook, Craig M. says, right in front of the guy, mind you, “If I was a girl and a guy made me a scrapbook, I’d think he was gay.” Okay, it wasn’t that verbatim, but pretty much. It was mean, but really funny. Robert and I immeadiately rewound this, watched Craig M. school the scrapbook guy again and both hoped that Ali would keep him around andddddd she did. Thank you producers or Ali or whoever was responsible for keeping the prick around for sheer entertainment, can't wait to see what he'll say next. Oh and he was also already making fun of the weather guy. Hey, Craig M., you met these guys 5 minutes ago, maybe just keep your opinions to yourself?

Here we have Frank. Frank is the guy that tries way to hard. You know that annoying person at work that is busy when there’s nothing to do? That’s Frank. When he talks to Ali the first thing he says is, “I’m a risk taker.” Are you Frank?  CALM DOWN.  

Here we have Hunter. I mentioned him earlier. He is the token funny guy with the ukelele. For all of you Bachelor devotees, when I say he is the Bob Guinea of the show and you will get it. He’s comic relief. The guys like him. Ali will like him. Will he get the final rose? No, but we all appreciate the funny guy. Thanks for rolling out Hunter.

Here we have Kacey. Kacey is the psycho and also needs to see a speech pathologist (I'm sorry, he does!). He is taking this all a little too seriously. It doesn’t help that the editing of the previews for the future episodes make him look like he slits his wrists. Oh Kacey, don’t do it, go home and get on match.com, you’ll be fine.

Here we have Roberto. This one was a wild card for me and Ali totally threw me for a loop when he got the first impression rose. It made me like her more because I felt like she was really picking who she liked the best and not the guy everyone would expect her to. Plus, he seems very genuine and sweet even though he's sporting a necklace. Good choice, Ali. I’m going to say, Roberto will be in the top three. My humble prediction. 

Here we have Justin. He is the entertainment wrestler and the meathead that will be lifting weights and making protein shakes. The men voted that he was the guy that “wasn’t here for the right reasons”. This is revealed and Ali was forced to choose for him to stay or go. Ali chose for Justin to stay and Justin or Rated R (his wrestler name) stayed.  I smell trouble.

Here we have Jonathan. He is a weatherman in Houston. He is the cheeseball. He is super nice, but in the words of Jenny Hoge, “Alexis, you can’t like someone just because you think he’s nice.” Ali, I hope you have a Jenny in your life to tell you this.Ali will feel bad when she lets him go, but she shouldn’t, he’ll meet female cheeseball and they will live happily ever after and have cheeseball babies.

I’m excited about this season and could go on about some other interesting chaps that are trying to woo Alli, but I just leave it with these fellows for now. Any info/opinions you want to send my way are much appreciated. I love when someone “knows” one of the contestants. Also, Entertainment Weekly usually has a great recap (last season they also had a blog that Chris Harrison wrote) of each episode. I haven’t read this weeks yet, but if you’re really into it, go there…it’s where you’ll find real writers J.

Until next week…don't stop believing. 

p.s. This inaugural post is dedicated to the man, the myth, the legend, Chris Harrison. Where would we be without you? We sure wouldn’t know that, “Gentlemen, this is the final rose.” Thanks, Chris for just being you.