THE BACHELORETTE ULTIMATE GETAWAY SWEEPSTAKES!!!!!

You could possibly get something more out of this show other than self loathing yourself for judging these desperate fools searching for love on television. 

CLICK HERE AND ENTER NOW!!!

I will be entering. This 28 year old needs a vacay. 

Bachelorette Season Seven: On a Break

Ashley and I are on a break this week. I just can't deal with her skirts made for toddlers and her surface relationships with Ben and JP. I do want to give a shout out Constantine who just up and left....dude didn't even want to go to the fantasy suite??! Ballsy.

RYAN??!! 

Oh and Ryan came back which can be described in one word: psycho.

We will wrap this biz up next week. Happy Friday Eve, kiddos. 

Big Weekends....

lead to tired, sometimes awful beginnings of weeks. I'm lazy and lethargic this week and I'm blaming it on last weekend in Chicago. We went big. We went all out. I warned Robert that I wasn't going to go home early and we didn't. I partied like it was my birthday, I partied like it was my wedding and my bar mitvah and my graduation. pppppfffffffttttttt. It was worth it though. It was a truly epic wedding weekend of one of my best friends. I'll go into all that later and for now just give an official ppppffffftttttt shout out to Mr. and Mrs. Kyle Kleckner. 

Back to present day. Uggg. Work sucks. Uggg. I need a vacation. Uggg. Work. Uggg. I miss my friends.

For now, these are getting me through the week...

Well, these and Robert and my friends. These are birthday flowers from the in-laws. I won the lottery in the in-laws. 

And yes it was my birthday. 

Yes, I turned 28 on Monday. Time flies when you're having fun. Thank you God for these last 28, let's make the next 28 even better. 

it's time

You know when you are looking forward to something for so long that when it gets here, you really don't know what to do with yourself???

I feel that way about this weekend. ahhhhhhhhhhhhh...........I'm dorking out. Happy weekend, everyone!

via

innocent husband comments

I had my hair highlighted on Saturday. A full highlight, not a partial highlight. You girls that get highlights understand. My goal was to make it "blonder". Robert said that I should "go REALLY blonde".

When I met Robert, my hair was in the process of lightening up. I had dyed it dark brown a year prior. If you are a life long blondish person, this is a drastic change for your hair and it takes it a lonnnnggggg time to get it back to that original blonde color that you started with. He's seen old pictures of me with really blonde hair and he wants to see it in person. I am ready to be blonder too. But, I have a grasp that it's a gradual process, I can't just walk out of the salon and expect to have white hair (or rather the much blonder hair i had in high school and college). That doesn't look natural. I know it's contradicting that I want to look natural with my highlighting, but whatever.

Anywayyy, I come home from my appointment, pleased with the outcome. Yay, blonder hair. Robert examines it, says he likes it and says he thinks I could have gone even blonder. My husband, the hair color expert. I explain that I could go even blonder at my next appointment, but this is as blonde as I could go for this one. He seems confused but is satisfied with the answer for now. 

We go out that night to the TYSO event to support our friends at Barley House. Lots of fun. We get home and for some reason the subject of my hair comes up again. Robert's true feelings finally come out. Is it supposed to be 9 different colors??? he says about my HAIR. 

YES, HONEY, YES IT IS SUPPOSED TO BE NINE DIFFERENT COLORS. THAT IS EXACTLY THE LOOK I'M GOING FOR. 

Men. ppppffffffffttttttttt. Men don't get hair color. 

Bachelorette Season Seven: Winning over the Families

Hometowns. Man, the Hometown episode is such a great episode.  The concept is obviously great for reality TV. You never really know what you're going to get when you meet someone's family. A crazy mother?? A scary father?? Weird siblings?? The possibilities are endless. Endless and awesome.

for the record. i didn't make this picture collage. my life is pathetic, but not THAT pathetic. 

Constantine, Ames, Ben and JP let us into their homes and on behalf of America, I say thank you. I'm obsessed with my family, but let's face it, it's hard to bring someone home for the first time. You have to relinquish all control and be like, "the is me. this is my family. deal with it." That's not easy! It also has to be LESS easy with a camera crew tagging along filming the knick knacks your mom has had out since 1986 and your middle school pictures framed on the mantle, not to mention the fact hanging over you that you could be the next guy going home roseless and your family could then berate you about that for years. "Hey, remember when you thought you were going to marry that Ashley chick and she totally dumped you on national TV??" Duh. Of course, that would be the topic at Thanksgiving for the next 40 years.

Okay, let's get these Hometown Dates rolling!!! I think I'll title each one?

Hometown Number One: My Big Fat Greek Wedding

Time for Ashley to see what life is like with Constantine in Atlanta. I feel like she keeps focusing on how "attracted" she is to him. Okay, check that off the list. What else have you do you two have going for you?Also, was anyone thrown off by Constantine's restaurant, Georgio's? He even went out his way to mention, that yes, he is Greek, but his restaurant is Italian and American with Greek influences. hmmm. Okay? I think I'd just rather go to an Italian restaurant or just a Greek restaurant, but whatever works. Oh and I love how he calls it "his" restaurant, it's clearly his family's restaurant that he just goes to and hangs out at everyday. Sort of reminds me of the movie....."My Big Fat Greek Wedding"....remember "Dancing Zorbas"?? The family restaurant?? At least that one was actually Greek.

similar? 

They go back to the kitchen (VIP treatment) and make pizzas. Am I watching the Food Network?? Constantine is impressed with Ashley's topping skills. Ashley seems to be having the time of her life and can really "see herself here". Constantine makes some kind of joke about how "she is his favorite pizza topping". She doubles over in girly giggles as if this is the first time that anyone has ever flirted with her. It's definitely the first time Constantine has. I don't think this honey badger/Constantine cares or gives a shit?

They retire to the patio to dine on the pizza and salads that they have created. I can't really concentrate on what they are talking about because all of the waitresses are watching them eat through the window. Is there no one at the restaurant?? Don't they have tables to serve?? And you know that Constantine has slept with at least a 1/3 of the waitresses there. I'm thinking at a minimum at least one girl was staring Ashley down with jealous rage thinking, "This is the guy that I hook up with every other Friday and this is my restaurant!!! You can take your TV crew and leave, you...you dentist!!" Hey, it's a possibility?? You know how crazy the service industry can be. If that is happening it is all covered up because the waitresses seem to be swooning when they kiss as if they are watching a romantic comedy take place live and in front of them.

Time to meet the family!! This is pretty serious, because C-man (why did I just now start abbreviating?), anyway, C-man keeps on emphasizing how much his family means to him and how you will NOT know him until you know his family. Sounds like someone needs to leave the nest. Does he still live at home? I know he is 30, but again, I'll reference "My Big Fat Greek Wedding". Tula was at least 30 and lived at home. I'm not ruling that out as the same for C-man.

pre-makeover, Tula. living at home. does C-man share this trait?

They enter the home and we meet Mom, Dad and Sister. Ashley brings us wine. Good move. I brought wine when I meant Robert's family for the first time. It was good wine and I couldn't afford it, but you only make a first impression once. It was not a time for Yellow Tail. Anywayyy, C-mans, fam, they are lovely people and very welcoming. They missed their son. I bet they are used to whooping it up at Georgio's all the time together. Ashley and his mom sit down to have a heart to heart. I think C-man's mom is trying to make her understand that if she wants to date or marry C-man, she has to date and marry C-man's family. Literally. They are together all time. Ashley misinterprets this and thinks that she is asking if she'd be open to move to Atlanta if this works out. She assures her that she "could be happy anywhere and she IS open to move." C-man's dad doesn't want them to rush into anything, but does say how happy ol' C-man looks. Oh dads, they are so cute.

At this point everyone has really bonded and this has all just gone really well. Ashley even says, "I love your family!! I'm moving in!!" Too much? They didn't think so, they ate it up with a spoon, a big fat greek spoon.

We think this date is winding down when C'man's mom mentions that there is a surprise. What could the surprise be?? Well, duh, the whole Greek family comes pouring in the house. It's a scene out of "My Big Fat Greek Wedding" complete with more food, that Greek liquor, tons of female relatives and dancing!! Yes, dancing together in a circle linking arms, the Greek way!! C-man's sis says that, "Ashley, caught right on! Of course, she's a dancer!" That Greek circle dance is like the easiest thing ever, I don't think it requires official dance training. Oh well....OPA!!! What was going on with the Dad throwing out money?? I thought that only happened in rap videos?? Whew, this is wearing me out. My family usually just gossips about each other, we don't dance and throw money. C-man is really happy that Ashley gets to see what his life is like all the time and Ashley tell's C-man when she leaves that she "is really happy". Greek people, the are like prozac!!

I don't really see Ashley fitting in there, but she obviously digs C-man...so we'll see??

Hometown Number Two: A Lesson on Sprezzatura

bless his heart

Time to rub elbows with the intellectuals on the Pennsylvania country side. Gees, that was a pretty property!! I had no idea it was so scenic up in those parts. Of course, I'm from New Mexico, soooo that's a little far from home for me. Who cares about me and my lack of geographic information on New England? Probably not you. Okay, time to meet la familia de Ames!! We've got, mom, sister, brother-in-law and nieces and nephews. Aren't they all cute!

Ashley and Ames regale them of their travels and the time that Ames got a mild concussion Muay Thai Boxing. Ames's mom and sister seem sort of horrified, but Ames's smooth narration skills make it seem like the concussion was no big deal and all worth it for the "prize". Ashley rolls her eyes. America rolls their eyes. Everyone goes on sipping their cocktails with cucumbers in them. What were those??

Ames's sister and Ashley sit down for a heart to heart. I cannot believe they stamped Ames with "the onion/peeling back the layers" metaphor. Just because Ames is a person of depth does not mean he's a damn onion. I don't think he has all these layers. I just think he is a cool, smart guy. Obviously, something Ashley is really unfamiliar with because she says how, "he is different from anyone she has ever met." and adds, "in a good way!!" ppppffffffftttt. Different - in a good way. Oh and she also used "unique"...yeah, that's definitely a relationship death sentence. Ames's sister's female intuition seems to kick in and she asks Ashley if she is really "feeling it". Ashley is honest and says that it has been "moving slow". AKA "no, no I'm not feeling it"

I feel like Ashely really WANTS to like Ames. She knows he's smart. She knows he's interesting. She knows that she could be a stay at home mom because Ames's smartness could support them, but she just can't force the physical chemistry thing. Even when Ames turns on the "fiyah" as his sister suggests and takes Ashley on a romantic picnic under a magnolia tree. The "fiyah" just does not appear. In a final attempt to woo her Ames gives her a lecture on a word that I swear I learned in 16th Century English Literature (shout out - Sarah and Su Fang)

OMG - I just googled it and I did, I did learn that word taking that class!! I love when I remember learning!!! Sorry, this part of the post is purely focused on me and not Ashley's quest to find love. I miss college.

Anywayyy, Ames's definition, which is something like "finding love in the ordinary little things is what is really extraordinary", while it is probably right (because I'm not arguing with someone who went to Harvard) is not want I learned SPREZZATURA to be. I learned that it meant, "nonchalance, effortlessness". Which is the polar opposite of how Ashley feels about Ames. I do love how she keeps complimenting him, but really complimenting herself. She tells him, "I feel like we think the same." Do you, Ash?? Do you think the same??

i'd love to think the same as the guy who went to Harvard too ;)

Even after carriage ride with champagne can't force Ashley to want to go past first base with Ames. But at this point, I still wasn't sure. I thought maybe he was still in the running. Yeah, I thought wrong. :(

Hometown Number 3: Grieving in Wine Country

Well, hey Ben!!! Ashley missed you!! It's time to tour the vineyard and winery!!!!! This really isn't fair. This is a one up on all the guys.

oh let's just check out my vineyard

oh no big deal, let's just sample wine out of my barrels. 

So after all that wine business, I feel like Ashley is ready to give him a rose during the rainy picnic on the porch and they haven't even meant the family yet. Then Ben drops the bomb about Ashley getting along with is mother and sister, "it needs to be good, otherwise, it doesn't work for me." Really?? Geeezz. Talk about an ultimatum. I mean, it's kind of weird considering I haven't heard a single peep about Ben's family until now. He talks about wine, not his family. Oh goodness and I forgot his Dad died. Big frowny face. But, it's really okay that I forgot because this episode serves as a big reminder. Emotions are at an all time high up in Ben F.'s house. 

Ashley seems to get along great with Mom and sister. Good thing, Ben won't have to immediately end this date. 

This begins the turning point where we see Ben starting to get real. He's really had to open up and do some thinking through this process. (All that alone time in those hotel suites in Asia waiting for date cards?) He tells his mom that he wished he would have been there for her more when his father passed away. I felt like his mom was thinking, "Thanks, honey. But, can we talk about this when it's not going to be on prime time television." Oh well. Let the emotional floodgates run free Ben. To top it off Ben's mom tells him that she knows his father would be proud of him. Well, shoot. Now, I'm emotional. 

tear. 

Hometown Number 4: Rollerskating to Love

Now, JP, what, WHAT were you thinking with this rollerskating biz?? Yes, it ended up being completely genius because Ashley was loving it, but WOW.  I was like are they really rollerskating listening to Journey right now?? They are!!! I know JP said that he planned that activity because it was supposed to rain which I get. I mean, it's not like they can do something normal like go to a movie. 

weeeeeeeee!! 

Like I said, Ashley is loving this and says she feels like she's in middle school again. I'm so confused by how happy she is about this? I went to skating rinks in middle school. I was always in a state of feeling awkward and was never just having a blast skating around with my friends. Granted, I probably should have been. #ihaveissues. 

Anywayyyyy, one of my bestie's Ashley and I were texting throughout the episode and we were cracking up when they did the staple Bachelorette mini picnic with wine in the middle of the skating rink. Priceless. You're supposed to have shock tarts and nachos with processed cheese at the skating rink, so it doesn't really go with the theme, but that's okay. 

Okay enough play time....family time!! Is anyone else wondering what happened in JP's last relationship?? I mean, I feel like his ex-girlfriend left him at the alter. He was obviously really broken up about it and his family was involved in the heartache too. Was JP on suicide watch? What happened? We may never know. We do know that JP's family is really great even though they are all worried about him being heartbroken again. That's what you've go to do though, you've got to put your heart on the line for a chance at looovvvvveeee. 

Of course the grand finale of the date........

bar mitvah poster!!!!!!!! AMAZING. 

This is also when Ashley (my friend not THE Ashley) texted me, "JP is Jewish??" Seriously, how do they not get around to talking about normal things that dating people talk about -like their religion?? Again, we may never know. We do know that Ashley and JP mainly have spent time making out in trains all over Asia and have had little time to talk about petty things like belief systems. Regardless, JP's curly adolescent mullet has put him in the front running with me and we already know he is with Ashley. Love has no religion. 

Hometowns are over! :(. But that just means we are one step closer....

Rose ceremony commences. Ashley is wearing a dress that looks like something that the gothic kids wore at my high school. We all know what happens. Ames goes home. His look of shock was just heartbreaking!! :( He was genuinely sad, but so eloquent when he left. He's such a class act with pedigree and such a good guy to boot. I know that he's meant for bigger and better things than cannot be offered to him at The Bachelorette. Like marrying Sarah :).

That's all folks!! Fiji next week!! Oh la la.........fantasy suite timeeeeeee!!!!

OMG and who is excited about Ashley's family getting there???????? Her sister with the tattoo sleeves??????? yessssssssssss!!!!!! Ashley's sister for the next Bachelorette!!!!!

Mondays

Why are some Mondays more "Monday" than others? They just are. My friends have had some glorious things happen to them today to make this Monday seem way more Monday than usual. One friend got the news that her car insurance was going up, one friend had to buy two new tires and another friend went grocery shopping and checked herself out at the self check-out counter, finished and realized that she had forgotten her wallet. ppppffffffftttttt. My complaint today is that I've somehow become a pet-sitting business for my bosses. Cat sitting for one all week and dog sitting for another this afternoon. I love pets, but seriously.

You know what I think it is? I think it's that all of these things remind us that we are grown up. Insurance? Tire buying? Groceries?? Bosses? Who are we? Adults. Well, that's annoying. Mondays=annoying. Growing up=annoying.

BUT, I must stop myself and remember how good life is and how blessed I am. What's the alternative to growing up? Dying? Well, I certainly don't want to do that! I'm alive and life is good, even though it's a Monday and I can add "cat-sitter" to my resume.

meet the boss's cat, Bailey. don't you feel like she's thinking "you're my bitch."? maybe it's just me. 

Also, have to remind myself it's a four day week because I'm going to Chicago on Friday!! WOO HOO!! I'm a bridesmaid in one of my best friend's weddings and I am really freaking excited. I guess growing up isn't so bad on weekends like that ;)

see you soooooooon!!! 

virtual coffee!!!!!

So, my friend Liz, who blogs over at The Zantop family, had the awesome idea to do a virtual coffee post. Which basically means we are going to talk to each other through our posts like we would if we were having coffee. She has seen this done on some blogs and loved it and thought it would be perfect for us. You can go to her blog and read her half of our "coffee talk" and come back to my blog and read my response. This is perfect for us because we really do want to get together and catch up, but she is a very busy working mama of a ADORABLE 2 year old (check out these pics!! ahhh. precious!) and who knows what I have on the roster from day to day. Today, I thought I've has this post done by 10 a.m., but it's been a crazy morning at the office?? Those only happen about 3 times a year??

Bottom line, we all know it's hard to get find a time for schedules to sync and get together. At the end of the day we all have some combo of jobs, obligations, husbands, friends and family we all barely find time to eat, think, sleep, breathe at the end of some days let alone treat ourselves to some quality time with a friend. This is definitely a time when technology is helping us to connect when our lives don't allow for the real face to face time and that is an awesome thing.

Before we start, here's a little background on my friendship with Liz. She and I were freshmen together at OU. We were actually in the same pledge class!! KKG 2001, baby! She transferred to A&M after freshmen year I believe? It could have been mid freshmen year? We knew each other, but we weren't friends during her stint at OU. In the summer of 2003, I had planned to take a summer session of classes at the University of Hawaii in Honolulu. A friend of mine had done it the previous summer and the tuition is cheap, you live in the dorms and you're in HAWAII...I had to do this...DUH! I had planned to go with 3 other friends, but the 3 of them ended up not being able to go and I still decided to stick it out and go solo. (There were other reasons for this...but that's another blog post entitled: Depression- It sucks. ha.) 

Anyway, when I landed in the Honolulu airport, not knowing what the hell I'm doing in Hawaii at the age of 19 completely alone and who do I see in the elevator going down area where you catch a cab??? I see Liz. Liz like a bright ray of sunshine. She said, "Alexis?? Do you go to OU??" I replied, "Yes....Liz??" We realized we were both in Hawaii for the same reason, both here to take summer school. A girl named Adrian was with her, who initially scared me in the elevator (if you know Adrian...you'd laugh at this), but she ended up becoming a dear friend too. Adrian and Liz were rooming together in the dorms and who was next door to them? Me. I know that God orchestrated that. Being next door to Liz and Adrian was a gift to me.  So began a summer of memories that would bond us together for life....(hmmm, sorry that sort of sounds like the beginning of a Judy Blume novel.)

Liz, Adrian and I actually all live in Dallas now. Crazy how it all works out. 

this pic was definitely taken with a disposable camera :). me in the black, Liz in the stripes. one of my high school buddies was in the Navy stationed in Hawaii, so we made friends with a lot of his friends. this was Adrian's birthday night and they all dressed up in their uniforms for her. it was awesome hanging out with "official" sailors. ha.

Okay, so there's the past. Time to be in the present!! Virtual coffee date is beginning!!

If you haven't already, click here to to to Liz's blog to read the start of our coffee talk (otherwise, it might be a little confusing to see what I'm answering.) Alrighty, here we go. 

Hiiiiiiiiii Liz!!!!! Okay, so, I get really tickled that you read the Bachelorette recaps and enjoy them even though you don't watch the show. I just love it. You really don't know how your comments on my blog encourage me. Seriously, I really do like blogging and sharing, but it also brings out HUGE insecurities in me. I get scared that I will offend someone with my humor or views. I get nervous that certain statements will be received in the wrong way. I would hate that! I keep blogging because it's a lot of fun for me and for comments like yours that keep me going...so thank you. :)

About finding completeness in God....I know, it was a huge revelation for my life too. I joke around occasionally on my blog about depression (I even did above) and it's because I struggle with it. But, it's actually been a blessing for me to walk through it because somehow, somewhere going through that, I realized that nothing on earth will satisfy. I think I had to try everything on earth to make sure of that. I learn things the hard way, I guess? haha. As humans we are always searching for that thing that is going to make us feel "okay" or "complete". The right significant other, the right job, the right city to live in, the right friends...now that we are older it's the perfect house, the perfect kids, the right "things". These things are great and wonderful things created by God that we should enjoy, BUT they will not satisfy. Only God through Christ can do this and only living in the pure grace of Christ can lead to a life without that sense of "wanting something else". When we are in a relationship with Christ all the other stuff takes care of itself and that is the miracle of it all. Of course, how God chooses to get us to the point of "taking care of itself" is not always the way we envision it or the way we want to go and I feel like maybe it's a life long journey of learning God's will for us. 

I have not read Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas. I will definitely put that on my list of "to read" books. Thanks for the recommendation. Sounds like an awesome read. Have you ever heard of Tim Keller? He's an author and the pastor of a church in NYC called Redeemer. My Bible study does a lot of studies based of his teaching. One that we did was a study on his series of Marriage Sermons. Click here for how you can listen to them!! The timing that we did this study is pretty cool because we did it while Robert and I were dating and he listened to them too. They really made us look at marriage differently and it great to listen to them and then talk about them together. It really formed an intimacy between us which I don't think could be accomplished any other way. Oh and also, The first thing that was recommended to me to listen to by Tim Keller were his series of sermons called, The Trouble with Christianity, why it's so hard to believe. I also, highly, highly recommend those sermons!!

Oh AND speaking of Bible study...would you ever want to go with me?? PLEASE come anytime!!! Wednesdays at 6:30, it's not at a church, just girls our age that get together. Actually, most of them went to your high school, so you'd already know people!! Seriously, come any time!! I do understand that you have your family and it's hard to get away...but the offer stands ANY time!! :)

Goodness, I'm getting deeper and this is going longer than I thought! Deep long virtual coffee talk for Liz and Alexis.

Okay, so I loved the advice from your mom. Feel, pray, accept. What powerful words. What good advice. Aren't mom's amazing? I'm sure now that you are a mom, you realize that even more. I feel like every time I spend time with my mom, I love and respect her on new levels. I don't know if it's getting older and more mature that does this to us or what it is?

I hate to hear that you've been stressed. Ugg. I know how that feels all too well. And I feel just like exactly as you did, most of the time I'm stressed, it is because I forget to look to God. It's so scary how subtly and quickly it can happen. I can so easily start listening to myself and the world and it's craziness and voila!! - STRESS!

BUT, like you said, we are human. We are not perfect. We are sinners, living in a broken world. We are going to forget to look to God a zillion times. Yet, we are saved by him through GRACE and grace only, not because of anything we have done or can ever do. For that, I am glad because I can't live in a world of rules and religion where I'm constantly trying to show God "how much I love him" through how good I am. That would create arrogance in me and not show people the true savior that is Christ. Any good in me any of it is through Christ, not myself, not anything that I have ever done!! I hope to live a life for people to not see me, but Christ. I fail at this, I fail at this big time. All I can do is, go on, go on and be transparent and love how God calls us to love.

I love what your friend Casey said AND what her pastor said. (I also love Casey's blog which I found through your blog!!) But, it is true, no one can ever truly tell you what marriage is. And it's also so true, that if would have tried...we wouldn't have listened!! 

I've learned a lot in my marriage. I've learned that all marriages are different because we are all designed differently. My marriage isn't going to be like my parents marriage. My marriage isn't going to be like a fairytale or anything we see on TV and movies. I've learned that though Robert and I do truly love each other we can't always be in perfect harmony. We're going to disagree on things and that is okay. Robert and I fell in love and got married rather quickly. And while we are completely right for each other, I feel like it can almost become an area where we can become prideful about that...in a bad way. Not in public...like walking around displaying how great we are together. But, it private, we can get pretty pleased with ourselves. It sounds silly, but it can really become almost like an "idol" to us, you know? We forget that God designed us, he orchestrated that we met, this has nothing to do with "us". Our marriage is a huge gift to us from Him! Plus, this view can put pressure on our marriage. We think that we are so great together that we can't ever disagree. Anyone that is married KNOWS that is an impossibility. You will disagree with your spouse, but it's how you handle that disagreement that matters. 

This year, I think God has been teaching me about forgiveness. In several ways. I have been absolutely, embarrassingly AWFUL in front of Robert. He forgives me and loves me anyway. He could leave he could walk away, but he doesn't. He does the opposite and forgives me and loves me as if it has never happened. Being this recipient of this human forgiveness is so cool and life altering, because it's a small real life tangible example of the way that God forgives his children- all of us. I mean, I am awful and turn away from God multiple times a day and he still loves me the same anyway. Goodness. Also in the way that I forgive - I have learned a lot about that this year. With Robert and with others. I thought I had forgiveness down. I thought that was something that was easy for me. HA. I was so wrong. You can look like you forgive and fake it, but it still manifests in your mind and grows roots when you are replaying the past in your mind. It's a struggle. Only Christ through me can forgive, I can't do it, I have to ask Christ to take over. It's a process, it doesn't immediately happen instantly. Marriage is a constantly cycle of forgiveness and love. Forgiving your spouse forgiving yourself and recommitting. It's hard and it's beautiful...which is what marriage is hard at times and beautiful. The beauty of it completely makes anything hard make it all worth it :). 

Finally, I have to say, I loveeeeee your view about the blogging community. I totally think that's what it should be...a place to lean on each other, lift each other up, encourage each other and ask honest questions and to be honest in return. Sometimes, I get really bitter about the blogging/facebook thing. Which is pretty ironic since I'm a large participant in both! But, sometimes, I find it to be a place where I go to judge others and compare myself. For example, "oh i'm not as fashionable as _____", "_____ is so much smarter than me.", "_____ is so perfect" I know when I think this stuff, my perspective is the one that's wrong. I can gain so much from all of these walk of life, I should love that they share and not put that judgment on them, but I'm human and I do. I usually snap out of it and thank God for the way he made me and go forward, but I do struggle with it. You know what I mean? Do you ever feel that way with the blogs you read too?

We will have to discuss that at our next coffee date!!! :) :) 

This was so fun...I'm so glad we "got together"!!!! Have a wonderful weekend!!!

Just to see you smile....

she is so refreshing! all hail the princess. 

Bachelorette Season Seven: A new low??

I've hesitated writing about Monday's episode because honestly, it made me sad. Seriously!! These adults who are seeking love and completeness in something that will never deliver is very sad and it is never more apparent in life than it is on this show. Even if Ashley finds her soul mate at the end, only the truth of Christ can give her what she is truly seeking. I know this to be true because, my friends, I have found my soul mate and love every moment with him and HIM, but if I sought completeness in only him we would both be miserable But, that, my friends, is another blog for another time....now it's time for me to focus on Ashley and her backless tops. What is up with those?? Is that like a dress code requirement in Taiwan?? Girl couldn't get enough of them!! I won't judge because I went through a phase where I wore them. It was the summer between my sophomore and junior year of high school, I believe. The less fabric the better in that summer. I guess Ashley never went through that phase and is going through it now and taking us with her.

as if it wasn't hard enough for Ryan to say good-bye to her, he has to say good-bye to her braless??

Okay, time to go back to the beginning in Taiwan, "the jewel of Asia" or something like that?? It did look pretty beautiful, just like a jewel. And what better place is this for a fresh start?? No better place??!!! How many fresh starts does one need?? Many. Many fresh starts all over Asia according to Ashley. There are only 6 guys left...SIX!! This shit is getting real!! JP is even getting jealous...is he in LOVE??!!

p.s. what's up with the Asian themed music, ABC?? This is not Memoirs of a Geisha....cheeng cheeng chang chong ch ch chong. They played the music, not me!

The first one on one goes to Constantine. I can't believe this guys still in it, honestly?? Nothing against him, but I would have never guessed he'd be in the final 6. Saying that, I'm usually wrong about...hmmm everything, so nevermind. Ashley is ready to sight see in her 5 inch heels and.....guess what else......her backless top!! Seriously though heels?? Is she afraid of flats?? Flats are cute!! Ask Tory Burch!! Anyway, so begins her day with Constantine. They get a choo choo train and Ashley says there's something about trains that is really romantic. ppppppfffffttttttt. There is nothing about trains romantic. NOTHING. I've been on them in Europe and the US and I'm here to say, trains are gross. They are only cool in black and white movies when people could smoke on them. Regardless of my opinion, C-man (just can't keep typing out CONSTANTINE) and Ash hold hands on the train ride and find this romantic.Good for them. They arrive at an enchanting little village and walk around. Hmmm. Didn't they do this on their last date?? This village is special though because they have a thing where they paint lanterns and make a wish!! This sounds like an activity you would do at a 3 year old's birthday party, but whatever. C-man is taking this activity seriously and Ash is digging it!! "How do you draw marriage?"-she asks while America cringes. How DO you draw marriage?? Lawd, help us all. 

The day winds down and they have dinner which means it's time for - you guessed it- serious talking. Hello!! Hometowns are next week!! She has to MAKE sure that there is a connection. C-man says that she will really get to know him around his family and that he isn't in love yet. She digs his realness and his "not trying too hard" and "just being him." They make out. Lanterns float. C-man wants to bring her home. 

and scene.

Too bad we didn't get any footage of the saucy train ride home. 

Ben F. aka Twin of C-man is the next to get a one on one. Ryan is freaking, still no one on one for him...only group dates...eeekkkkkk. I believe this is called foreshadowing. 

Anywayyyyyyzzz, Ben F. date time!! Ashley is wearing FLAT white converse...HUGE!! Did the producers make her since she was riding on a moped?? Who cares?! So they hop on the moped...who caught Ben's "Dumb and Dumber" reference??? He said something like "we're like Harry and Lloyd". Ding ding ding!! Bonus points from me!! I don't think Ashley noticed?? ppppfffffttttttt. She says she feels so safe with Ben. Do you really feel safe?? Is Ben an experienced moped rider?? 

just a couple of kids in love 

After a long day on the moped, it's dinner time. Of course, there are large glasses of white wine in front of them. Ashley sips on it and compares it to the white wine that Ben gave her on the first night. He agrees that it's similar, but you know the wine snob in him is like, "What is she talking about??!! My pinot grigio has way more hints of grapefruit in it!!" Ben says he can't wait for her to meet his family and something about the "L-bomb" as he calls it...aka love. He's falling for her........they make out. There are some feelings happening here!

And I didn't realize how many feelings until Ben doesn't come home that night. What??!! This isn't an overnight date??!! They are NOT supposed to "chose to forego their original rooms and stay in the fantasy suite"??!! They must have had a lot more of that wine.

JP is really upset about this revelation that Ben shacked up with Ash. THEY had a connection on their last night...what is going ON here??? I don't think JP understands the premise of the show. He continues to seethe about this. Lucas comments on JP's emotions and how he isn't excited to spend the group date with him today. Nobody likes to hang out with Oscar the Grouch or Eeyore. Snap out of it JP.

Onto the group date...which I will call the worst group date in HISTORY!!! 

I received these texts Monday night:

Sarah: are you watching the bachelorette?

me: cooking dinner! haven't started it yet!

Sarah: OMG just wait

me: OMG

Sarah: New low. I mean awful. Just wait til you get to the group date.

Hence; the title of the recap. New low. SERIOUSLY, these wedding pictures??!! There HAS GOT TO BE more to do in Taiwan than take fake wedding pictures. This is beyond painful!! It sounds like my worst nightmare. It definitely sounds like any guys worst nightmare. Robert didn't even want to do engagement pictures. The guys are obviously dreading this and they haven't even found out what they have to wear yet....

surprise!! 

Poor poor Ames and Lucas. I think JP said Ames looked like an ostrich plus Elton John. That was funny, JP!! Lucas is wearing a traditional Tai get-up aka a dress and JP gets the tux....good think because he is already PMSing this week and I don't think we can take anymore!! The pictures commence and it gets more and more awkward.

i can scarcely look at that!

JP is feeling more and more crazed as he has to watch Ashley take these "romantic" pictures with Lucas and Ames. JP take a xanax, calm down!!! Ames and Ashley take pictures in some whimsical tree. JP and Ashley do the traditional wedding thing and JP is not feeling it. I don't blame him. This is all just WEIRD. This isn't their wedding??? Eeeehhhhhhh. 

Finally, this date is over and it's time for cocktails. And don't forget...duh duh duh...there's a rose up for grabs!! Ashley realizes this is tense for everyone, she tries to encourage the guys to relax by saying how she felt on this particular date with Brad Womack on the last season. That was a terrible idea. Now the guys are thinking about Emily again. jk jk.

Lucas and Ashley sit down for a talk. Lucas says he had an "okay" time on the date. He was wearing a DRESS. He tells her that he'll always be honest with her. She asks if his family will be ready to meet her since he is divorced. He assures her that it's been 3 years. Lucas, that's really NOT that long?? He says his family just wants him to be happy. They end their time dancing closely. To no music?? That's sort of awkward, but okay?

Ames and Ashely sneak away and Ames pulls out old pictures of himself and his family. Wait were those just in his suitcase?? Has Ames been scrapbooking in his free time in the house?? Oh well, I don't really care. I like Ames and his little picture reveal is pretty cute.

hey there 12-year old Ames!! 

JP and Ashley finally get down to business and JP releases how this has been a terrible week for him due to his raging jealousy. She says she thought he was "as cool as a cucumber" pppfffttttt. Just like you had a "good feeling" about Bentley?? pppfffffftttt. Ashley reassures JP with a rose. And scene.

Now the moment we've all been waiting for....or should I say the moment Ryan has been waiting for.....his one on one with Ashley and her backless top. Ashley knows Ryan is a great guy but doesn't know if they have that romantic connection even though she gave him the first impression rose. Nothing like time together in  Taiwan to get to the bottom of this. It starts out awful. They do the awkward run towards each other. Then they go to some religious temple with people chanting to statues and make a wish to the god of love. They have to flip these weird block things over and if they land opposite their wish comes true. They land on the same side meaning that their love wishes are not going to come true. Again foreshadowing. Ryan, the optimistic, refuses to let this get him down. Painful.

It gets more painful. They are so bored they watch Tai Chi. They talk about Tai Chi. They do Tai Chi.

They sit down at a picnic table and that's when things really take a turn for the worse. They have a conversation about energy conservation and recycling and Ashley realizes that she can't take it. 

oh noooo

When she made this face I was certain it was over, she couldn't take another second. She did one of the hardest things that a person has to do (in my opinion) and she broke up with him. Saying that he was perfect on paper but she just "wasn't feeling it, you know?" No Ryan does not know. This was the best day of his life up til this point.

eeeekkkkk

If a picture is worth 1,000 words, I think the picture above might say it all. Ryan was hurt, damaged, scarred. I hope he buys the new Adele cd and feels better. Really though, it was so sad to see him break down. He wants to find that person so bad...and be a dad!! Man, that was just really sad :(. I do wish him happiness and for his dreams to come true?? They have websites for this now?? eharmony?? 

Onto to the rose ceremony. Ashley dons a dress with cut outs kind of staying in the backless theme. She sits down with Chris Harrison. They talk it out, she again decides NO cocktail party--- straight to the rose ceremony. That is really becoming her trademark. She knows what she wants to do...no one can change her mind. So...if she knows...why does she always pause so long before the last rose?? Is that just editing?? 

She sends Lucas, Mr. West Texas, home. He takes it like a man, but says he wasn't ready to go home. She tells him she wasn't sure that there was that romantic connection there. Lucas says he wishes he just had someone to go to breakfast with. Again, that is just sad :(. 

Next week hometowns!!! I love meeting the families!! I'm way too involved in this!!! :) 

In case you're wondering....

this southern gal named Britney, that caught our attention back in the day with this little number...

I'm here to tell you 

SHE'S STILL GOT IT.

I went to her Femme Fatale show for last night for my friend, Kendall's birthday. Even though our seats weren't front and center (okay they were technically back and center...yes as in VERY back row and dead center), Britney brought IT and we were on our feet dancing the entire show. It was entertaining and fun and I was reminded why Christina with her voice and Jessica with her fashion lines still won't ever have anything on B. SPEARS, yall!!!

and yes I now want to dance until the world ends. 

sunshine and lemons

via

There are few things better than laying out in the warm sun. It's wonderful. You know what is not so wonderful??

Sun spots.

see the discoloration?? ewww! yes, thats me. 

Am I old?? Why am I getting sun spots this summer? I've been really good about sunscreen too. Maybe I should just stop wearing sunscreen since I get sunspots anyway?? Maybe I should just start smoking and eating bacon for every meal too since I'll probably die of cancer and heart disease anyway?? JK JK

but...it is tempting....

I googled a home remedy for removing sunspots and I thought I'd share. 

Here ya go. Via.

• First you need to gather the ingredients for this natural method to remove the sun spots on face. You will need lemon juice, sunscreen and a cotton pad or swab.

• For the lemon juice, you can either cut a lemon and squeeze the juice from it or use bottled lemon juice (about 2 to 3 tbsp.). But it is always better to use freshly squeezed lemon juice rather than the bottled version. If you are using the bottled one, make sure it is undiluted otherwise it won’t make much difference.

• If the spots are large, you will need cotton pads. If they are small, it is better to use cotton swabs. Saturate the swab or pad with the lemon juice.

• Now apply this swab or pad on the affected areas to remove the sun spots on face.  Dab the juice all over the spots and make sure none of it ever gets into your eyes.

• Let is dry naturally. Once the juice dries up, use a sunscreen that has SPF (Sun Protection Factor) of 30 or more before you go out. This is very vital because if you venture out in the sun without any protection while undergoing this natural method to remove the sun spots on face, it is going to become totally ineffective!

• This treatment needs to be done daily. For better results, do it once in the morning, and once at night. This method won’t have miraculous effects – it may take several weeks and repeated use before you see the spots vanish forever from your face. But remember, even if it takes a bit more time, it will leave no side-effects. Nor will you have to spend a huge amount of money to get suns spots out of your face.

I hope it works!! My mom uses lemons for everything. She is so smart.

and remember...

via and via

They're just like us

I don't know if anyone has been keeping up with Wills and Kate and their North American adventure. I have. I swear, Kate Middleton is flawless.

However, I was sort of excited when I came across a semi-frumpy picture of her.

PRINCESSES - THEY ARE JUST LIKE US - THEY TAKE FRUMPY PICS!!!

Granted for normal people. This is NOT a frumpy pic, but it's the nearest to a bad angle I've ever seen of her. And yes, it's still pretty damn perfect.

She's fabulous. Also, she is doing the impossible and bringing back sheer panty hose???!!!! I pray that trend doesn't become a must-do in the next two weeks. I'm in a wedding in Chicago and I really don't need to worry about sweaty sheer panty hose. Do you think Kate Middleton sweats?? Yeah, I doubt it either.

4th of July iphone pic wrap up

Create your own video slideshow at animoto.com.

disclaimer: first time i've tried this advanced video thing. we'll see how it goes?? it wouldn't let me make the video without a song, so i hope you enjoy this Spanish number that i chose. 

Bachelorette Season Seven: Punctuation Metaphor is OVER

I hate when work gets in the way of blogging about the Bachelorette. Both endeavors are equally pointless. My job and my blogging about the Bachelorette. But, I get paid for one, so I have to address it first. Mo' money, mo' problems. That doesn't make sense, but I do like that song....

ANYWAY ---

Hong Kong. Awww, the city of love. Oh wait, no. No Asian cities really qualify for that, though ABC keeps trying to shove the idea down our throats. Are these cities cool? Yes. Are they romantic? No. I can't recall anyone every honeymooning in Hong Kong.

Saying that, I do believe that ANY place can be romantic with the right person. Too bad poor Ashley can't seem to find that person. (and the previews don't seem to foreshadow that happening any time soon??) I wouldn't think that any place could be romantic if it wasn't for Robert. I swear when I'm with him, a Best Buy can become romantic. Honeymoon at Best Buy!! Bachelorette at Best Buy!!

Back to Ashley in Hong Kong....where everything at Best Buy is probably made....

What a journey this has been- just a journey people!!! But, now here we are in Hong Kong, the perfect place to figure. shit. out. Perfect! It's so tranquil, calm and just freaking filled to the brim with romance!!! Communism!!! Bliss!!! ppppffffftttttttt

I can't believe they put Ashley in the city scene and made the people blurry around her. Special effects??! I'm not watching Return of the Jedi, let's hold off of the special effects. We get the metaphor of the bustling city and her bustling emotions.

all the people alllllllllllllll around me. lost in translation. wait. was that Bentley??

Chris Harrison knocks on Ashley's door. Wait, what is Chris doing here?? This isn't the rose ceremony!! Please. We all know exactly what he's here to say because we've been hanging on to this "Bentley in the hotel moment" for the last TWO weeks. Chris is here to tell Ashley, that Bentley is in fact, in this hotel. Ashley clutches her heart in peril!! Don't rip that sheer top!! Bentley is here. He is here in Hong Kong. He is in the hotel. "SHUT UP!!", she exclaims.  No, Chris Harrison will not shut up. He assures her that he is not here to play mind games with her, even though she clearly likes that. He's also not here to try to define their relationship with any sort of punctuation. He is serious. He writes his hotel number down. Oh the drama of a written down hotel number....

I really didn't like this whole set up. She has to go to HIM? I don't think so. Can he not walk himself to her room?? He flew to Hong Kong. I think Mr. Salt Lake City can take 20 more steps. Uggg. Unfortunately, I didn't get to plan this get together, so that's not how it went down. Poor Ashley has to go to his room. I felt like she was about to propose. She was so nervous. AHHH. Here she is getting in the elevator. Here she is walking to the room. She's at the door. Should she knock?? Clutching her heart. AHHH.

After a couple excruciating seconds, she knocks on his door. It's the biggest moment of her life and this guy had the balls to say......

"WHO IS IT?"

Biggest dickhead move ever. Who do you think it is??? (Also, Robert noticed that the d-bag had a peep hole.) "Who is it????" Seriously??  ppppfffffftttttt. 

"It's me" Ashley responds.

It's me. Oh that just made me wince. "It's me." Just timid, insecure me here in Hong Kong!! 

Bentley opens the door wearing his college look of the long sleeved shirt under the short sleeved shirt. Way to show Ashley that you care. 

Oh well, let's focus- here you all are, face to face. It's time to get down to the business of the DOT DOT DOT - what does it MEAN? And whyyyyyy and whoooo thought it was ever okay to use punctuation to break up or define your relationship with someone??? It's not. It's NOT okay. BTW, Bent, it's called an ellipses not a DOT DOT DOT. Idiot. 

I wish Robert would have proposed to me by telling me that he wanted an EXCLAMATION POINT on our relationship forever. That would have really shown me how he felt. Yeah, just kidding. That's dumb. About as dumb as Bentley.

Sooooo...they greet with a platonic kiss. She tries to be casual and flirty saying something like, "So, were you just in the neighborhood??" He he he he ho ho ho ho. Let's wrap up the jokes. Get to it, sister. This is no time for breezey small talk. None of us can beat around this bush any longer. We can't go through ANOTHER rose ceremony with you having a break down about Bentley and his DOT DOT DOT. I hope at this point she was remembering what Chris Harrison said "8 other GREAT guys gave up EVERYTHING to be with you" Everything. They gave a up kidney. They sold their souls to the devil. jk jk. All they gave up was their dignity, but in return they get a chance to either be with Ashley or on the Bachelor Pad, so it really makes sense. 

ANYWAY---

She asks how him how Cozy is. Cozy, his daughter. The reason he left. ppppfffffffttttt. He left because Ashley was not Emily Maynard. Ashley isn't his type. Bentley likes blondes. He likes blondes that are petite and helpless. How INDIVIDUAL of you , Bentley. Also, it must be mentioned again, but the name of COZY. If that doesn't tell you all you need to know about the man, than I don't know what does. 

clearly, this convo is going great. 

In normal Bentley evasive fashion, he is vague about everything. Cozy is good. He's been working. He said that is surprised him that he missed her and he missed this. THIS as in the cameras? THIS as playing Ashley?? You miss THIS?? OH OH and you miss HER?? Okay, hilarious...good one, Bent. 

She says something along the lines of "sometimes, you have to be a man and give the relationship a period." You are right Ashley, that's what MEN do. Men give a damn period where there needs to be a period.  

This isn't fair to her she says. No, this is NOT fair. Anyone who cared for you would NOT put you in this situation. In the rules of reality TV show love you can't say "come see me in Salt Lake City" or let's leave it at a "dot dot dot". You are either in this or you are not. That's how it should be in everything...are you in or out?? Let's do this. Too bad too many people prefer to live in "DOT DOT DOT" purgatory. 

So, Ashley gives every facial expression in her repertoire and finally just makes him SAY IT. She needs to hear it. IS THERE A PERIOD?? She NEEDS to hear it. What she really needs is to watch all six seasons of Sex and the City and the movies. She knows nothing about relationships. Of course, those of us that have watched them still know nothing about relationships. pppfffffftttttt

For a second I wondered if Bentley could man up and give this relationship a period?? Or if he was going to play this thing out until he got to meet Emily Maynard. They keep talking. They keep talking and saying nothing. There is some subtle leg touching. Yeah, I caught you, Bentley. No wonder she loves you...the subtle leg touch. He snidely asks her how it's going with the other guys. She tells him how hard she took it when he left and how it's not fair to the other guys that she can't stop thinking about him and the DOT DOT DOT. 

Finally, finally, Bentley gives this whole saga a period. Period end of sentence. He came all the way to Hong Kong to give a period. Couldn't he have faxed that? Tweeted that? Texted that? Nope. ABC put him on a plane because they were so worried that Ashley was going to BOMB this season and ruin their whole franchise if she didn't get her damn PERIOD in a dramatic face to face showdown. 

So much effort for something that can be solved by the small phrase "he's just not that into you." Buy the book, Ashley. Those are painful hard words to hear, but maybe less painful when 8 other guys are in a room that could potentially BE into you. (though as i mentioned the upcoming previews are worrying me for you...eekkk)

Again...ANYWAY....

It doesn't matter at this point because Ashley has SEEN the light and starts to go through the second phase of grieving/breaking up and that is ANGER. YES. GOOD. Please start hating him with the rest of us!! She drops the f-bomb! Excellent. Let it out!! And good, LAWD, honey, if you think you're mad, now, wait til you watch what he was saying behind your back in episodes 1-4.

I really can't think about that now though. I'm just so relieved she's not going to be pining for him anymore I don't know what to do with myself!! No more Bentley!!!

CLOSURE WITH A PERIOD. 

With that, I'll say, God's speed, Bentely. You need to schedule some sessions with Brad Womack's therapist because you definitely have some suppressed issues from childhood and IF you haven't already messed up your daughter by naming her Cozy oh and the divorce, you are not far from it. ugggg Daddy issues. They can really eff a person up. The world doesn't need a effed up girl named Cozy walking the streets. 

Okay, onward and upward!! Ashley is moving on and so are we!!! 

One on one with Lucas!! I didn't see that coming?? But, I did say he was turning it up a notch last week.

well, hey West Texas!!!! 

Right off, I can really tell that Ashley is feeling better about herself. She has a bit of a glow? It could be a really good bronzer and lip gloss, but I said to Robert that I thought Ashley looked the prettiest she had all season. I think it's because she felt happy and excited. It showed!! Hmm...so depression, anxiety and uncertainty don't make one pretty?? Note to self. 

She and Lucas walk around Hong Kong and eat intestines. Once again, Hong Kong, ladies and gentlemen, City of Love. It's just like real life here. Just your ho hum, run of the mill, every day date with Lucas. Ashley asks if this reminds Lucas of New York. Lucas admits that he's never been to New York. "What?! No way!" Ashley, exclaims. I didn't even flinch with Lucas said that. Of course, he's never been to New York. He's from TEXAS. Duh. Texas has everything. 

Ashley, the east coast chick, now needs a lesson on MOST Texas guys. They love Texas. Neigh. They are obsessed with Texas. They don't want to leave Texas. They most certainly don't want to LIVE anywhere out side of Texas. Texas should be it's own nation!! It's TEXAS!! West Texas guys, which Lucas is, can be even a tougher breed. I remember telling several guys that I went to college with at Texas Tech located in West Texas that I was from New Mexico and I could tell that they were confused. I saw this thought process happening as they swallowed their Miller Lite with furrowed eye brows. "New Mexico?? What??? I thought all blondish girls in a sorority were from Texas?? I could never introduce this chick to my parents. And marry? Marry a girl that wasn't from Texas?? HA. NO WAY. "  Like I said, MOST Texas guys. Not ALL. For example, I married Robert, a Texas guy, born and raised in Houston, is not like that at all. Maybe Lucas isn't either if he's thinking about romancing Ashley from Pennsylvania?? We shall see...

Lucas and Ashley end up on a boat that looked like it was off the set of Hook. Is this what people do here? They have dinner on the pirates ship and Ashley asks him what the hardest thing that he has ever been through . Time to discuss the D word again. Lucas's DIVORCE. Lucas tells her that his ex-wife was the love of his life, but he knows now it wasn't right. Hmmm. So if you fall for Ashley will that make her the 2nd love of your life?? That's not very fun. Ashley is not phased by Lucas's divorce and just happy that he's not saying let's leave it at a DOT DOT DOT that she gives Lucas the rose. YEE-HAW!! 

Next up, we've got the group date and what better to do on a group date than go dragon racing?? I don't know, but it does mean that Ashley gets to sport another half shirt!!

The guys split into teams and have to ask the locals to row with them on the dragon boat race to love. We've got Team Long Hair: Ben F. and Constantine. Team Spiky Hair: Blake and Ryan and Team Random: Ames and Mickey. Team Long Hair has a hard time recruiting despite their obvious charisma until they buy some silk robes and head gear, after that, the whole city wants to row with them. Team Random somehow finds the Olympians of dragon boat racing and Team Spiky Hair gets enough people to row. This shocks Blake who decides that people in Hong Kong must like Ryan's annoying personality. Geeezzzzz, Blake, he's NICE, deal with it. 

definitely win in the flair category

true winners

Team Random...Ames and Mickey win since they found people that to this sort of thing on the regular. Yay, boys!!! Afterwards, while chatting on the shores they see a real live proposal!! Omg, it's an omen!! "Who's next??" Ashley says playfully. Well, if the previews are any indication, not you, sweetheart. eeeekkk.

It's time for group date cocktails. Always a tense time for the guys and right away things are heating UP. Ashley is ready to show how over Bentley she is and she accomplishes that by multiple make-out sessions. Ames stages the elevator make-out....quite steamy!! I think she liked it!!  Ben F. and Ashley make-out on the roof top patio despite his pale yellow sweater. Meanwhile, all the guys talk about how awful Ryan is and if Ashley will ever see him for who he really is.

This is sort of beginning to confuse me. I mean, what is really WRONG with Ryan?? I don't feel like he's that annoying?? I usually completely understand when there is someone hated in the house (i.e. Vienna, Rated R) but I'm stumped on this one. Maybe he's got me fooled too?

Ashley gives Ryan the rose. The other guys don't understand and they don't like this. Ryan is as jolly as Christmas morning. 

One on one time with JP!! It's his SECOND one on one...this is getting serious!! Ashley says this is the most excited she has been for a date. Well, it's about time, sister. They have dinner and are talking seriously about their feelings. Ashley decides she needs to reveal to him she saw Bentley this week. I think she worked it up too much for him. Poor JP thought she was going to tell him that she had cancer or something. I think he was relieved that the news was just that Bentley showed up for 20 minutes and gave her a PERIOD. They smooch  a lot, she feels like this is "meant to be". And scene.

Here we are at the rose ceremony. Ashley is ready to tell the guys about Bentley's pop in this week. Since, JP was so cool about it, no one else will really care, right?? WRONG. She tells them in the completely wrong way and they all realize how hard she fell for Bentley and their egos start going into shock. Not only are they competing against each other, but she was still thinking about Bentley this whole time!!?? Yeah, they are just straight up mad. Ashley excuses herself to cry. There has been more crying on this season than I thought possible. 

Ryan swoops in and tells her that he doesn't care about Bentley coming to Hong Kong. I think Ryan would agree to a double marriage with Ashley and Bentley if it would make her happy and to be nice. Ames is awesome and says that fairy tales aren't always as simple as we want them to be. No, no they aren't Ames!! Did you learn that at Harvard?? Blake has had it up to here and doesn't even know why he is there anymore. Does she even care?? She cries again and Blake softens a little, but is still a jerk with a flared up temper. Lucas declares that he hates wasting time. Mickey says he feels that he's been lied to and doesn't see why she didn't send him home. She flips the tables and says that he is welcome to leave at anytime. And Mickey picks up and leaves. HA. Okay?? I guess he's just not that into her either. He's like the Honey Badger. Honey Badger don't care, Honey Badger don't give a shi**!! See ya later Mickey floating away on the boat. At least you left like a man and didn't give her a DOT DOT DOT or a comma or a colon or an ampersand. Ashley tearfully apologizes to the guys about the whole Bentley fiasco and hopes they can forgive her. The guys calm down a little and realize that she does care that they are here. 

the honey badger 

After that emotional roller coaster all caused by Bentley the rose ceremony commences. Ashley decides she doesn't want to deal with Blake's hatred and sends him home. Little does she know that he feels bad for being so mean. If I was a gambler, I would bet that Blake returns?? Dentists are persistent like that....

Still yet to watch last Monday's episode....on to Taiwan!! What will await us there???