True Life: I Snuck into the SMU Football Stadium

Last Saturday, Robert thought it would be a great idea to go run bleachers at the SMU stadium. I thought it sounded like a hot idea, but I agreed. Marriage…it’s a compromise. Plus, it’s good to do something different on the work out spectrum. Neither of us knew if the stadium would be open for people to run about it, but we headed towards campus to get it a try. Robert said that Rice in Houston lets people run on their track, so maybe SMU would do the same thing.

We park. I see two anorexic girls running, looking absolutely miserable, sweaty and red-faced.

“Only anorexic people run at the hour.” I say to Robert. It’s 10 a.m. on Saturday.

We proceed to the stadium. It appears to be locked. Then we walk around the side of stadium and….bingo…there is a side door held open by some stick or something? We see a guy on a lawn mower mowing the practice field and figure that’s why the door is propped open, but we let ourselves right in. Up the cement stairs we go and end up where the suites are. This is when I really wished that I would have had my phone to take a picture. Hey everyone, we are illegally in the SMU suites right now! There wasn’t a soul in there. We wandered around for a good 20 minutes trying to find a door to get to the stadium.

Robert finally found the door out and we were literally running around on the football field by ourselves. It was sort of invigorating to be on the field. I felt like I was in high school again. I even did a cartwheel and it made my wrist hurt for a minute and I was reminded that I’m old and I’m NOT in high school.

We ran up the bottom half of the steps and walked down the next set all the way around the stadium. Half way through this, I said to Robert, “I am almost over this.” He responded, “Oh, well, I wanted to go all the way around the stadium. You can do it!” He obviously didn’t’ hear me, “I. AM. ALMOST. OVER. THIS.”  He got it. We laughed and I powered through the rest feeling really hardcore. We weren’t killing ourselves, there was walking involved, but I was hot and frankly, almost over it.

Still though, it was so fun and both of us want to do it again. Of course, the problem with this is that we could very well NOT get lucky again and the door that we used to get in won’t be propped open. Ppppffffftttttt. Who knows?

BUT, if you see us being arrested on the news for trespassing on the SMU campus, you can rest easy knowing that we went down happily while frolicking on the football field, living it up like a champ.

Go Mustangs! 

Shout Out

My little sister, Augusta aka Gus, has been making these fabulous “bib-type” necklaces this summer. I’m just super proud of her. I think she has a true talent and more importantly she loves making them. She got some of her good friends together for a little photo shoot to model them. I think the pics turned out great…once again, little sisters’ creative genius shining through.

oh to be young and cute. 

My sister’s bibs are on sale at my Grandma’s art gallery in Carlsbad..big deal for our small town. Hey, everyone starts somewhere. Diane Vonfurstenberg, Nicole Miller, Tory Burch could have started selling merchandise in their grandmother’s galleries. Who knows? Even more exciting is another boutique in Clovis, New Mexico has contacted her and wants to sell her bibs there. This is how it begins…first spreading across New Mexico, America...then the world. Augusta Neal going global. 

love this pic. my sister's best friend, Ryan, helping out at the photoshoot. he is venturing to Boston to go to Berkley in the fall to pursue his dream of a music career. I'm super proud of him too!!

Culinary Adventures with Bob and Al: Peppers Everywhere

A couple Fridays ago, Bob suggested that we make stuffed peppers. The daring Bob did not want to look up a recipe for said stuffed peppers, he thought we should just make it up. This made me very nervous, I can really mess food up when I HAVE a recipe (i.e. the twice baked potato that turned into partially mashed potatoes last week?).  Nevertheless, I thought this sounded fun, so I agreed that YES, let’s make stuffed bell peppers sans recipe. Little did I know, Bob had a secret competition brewing. When we got to Whole Foods, I discover that HE is going to make his own set of stuffed peppers and I am going to make my own set. Fine then Bob, if that’s the way you want it, I will go on my stuffed peppers journey alone.

I defaulted into making something from my childhood and stuffing into a big bell pepper. I knew it was super easy, my mom used to make it on the regular, so I decided to take the easy way out on this and not think too much. I did try to spice it up a little, but I wanted to keep it simple because I was nervous it would be inedible and we would be going to Little Ceasars.

The contents of my stuffed bell peppers:

-steamed rice
-broccli sauteed with a two chopped garlic cloves and olive oil
-gratted sharp cheddar
-half can of all white albacore tuna

I mixed these all together and stuffed into a pepper and put in the oven for about 20 minutes. It was good…success! My one complaint is that the pepper itself wasn’t cooked through. When Giada does stuffed peppers, she puts water on the bottom of the baking dish and cooks for an hour…sooo, next time I’ll do that.

Bob’s stuffed peppers were way more fun, had more variety and caused me to eat bacon. (You proud, Jamie?)

Bob's peppers were orange dulce, yellow hot, pablano and small sweet peppers.

In the orange dulce, yellow hot and small sweet peppers, he made two types of stuffing.

-marscapone cheese
-grilled corn
-bacon

and

-marscapone cheese
-peas
-bacon

For the pablano his stuffing included

-grilled chicken breast
-steamed rice
-spicy Italian sausage
-grilled corn

Bob's 3 pepper stuffing contents

*Bob's tip for bakin' bacon*

-place bacon sprinkled with brown sugar in the oven for about 10-15 minutes on 350 degrees for appetizing results

He stuffed the peppers and put them in the oven with mine. Though we had separate peppers recipes they still wanted to be in the oven together. How romantic. I didn’t eat any of his peppers, excecpt for a bite of the little corn and bacon one, but they all looked delecious. He really impressed me with his concoctions.

Culinary mastermind, Bob Scarff. Watch out Bobby Flay....Next Food Network Star is hiding out in Lakewood....

Bachelorette Season 6: Rendezvous in Iceland

First and foremost, Chris N. likes Mexican food. Priceless.

The episode opens with everyone pumped to be in Iceland. I can’t blame them. I’ve never envisioned going to Iceland. Italy, yes. Africa, yes. Brazil, yes. Now, The Bachelorette series has made Iceland appealing. You can’t tell me you don’t want to be in that Lagoon thing right now.  My bestie, Sarah gets stressed that she isn’t going to be able to travel to all of the places that she wants to see in the course of her lifetime. (She also gets stressed about my future car accidents and the future lawsuits that people will file against me when I hit them with my car, but that’s another story in itself.) I guarantee she’s going to have to tag Iceland on her list now. Thanks, ABC, more stress for Sarah.

Okay, to business.

The Poetry Reading

This is so brutal that they force these guys make up a poem and read it in front of Ali and the other guys, oh and America. There has to be a small percentage of guys that are okay with just writing poetry in general? Maybe, I’m wrong to assume this. I’m not a guy and I also grew up with Jeff Neal as a father, not William Shakespeare. Jeff Neal doesn’t write poems, he hunts for large animals and makes leather crafts. When my parents were newly married he brought my mom an orange cat that he found and named it Chi Chi. He then bestowed it on my mother as an affectionate gift. This is the sort of romance I grew up with, so you’ll have to forgive me.

Anyway, surprisingly, most of the guys kept it on the funny side. Not all of them (clearing my throat...Kasey) but most. 

The highlight of the poetry reading began for me when Kasey (guardian/protector of the heart) is reading his poem and Chris L. finally pointed out that something is going on with his voice.  YES. There IS something going on with his voice, Chris L. Then, someone clever behind the scenes at ABC headquarters (due Chris L.’s suggestion) popped in some subtitles while Kasey was finishing his poem. Well, Robert and I totally lost it and had to rewind this twice, not just because of the subtitles but because the subtitles at one point were a strand of question marks. ??????? Even the camera couldn’t decipher what on earth Kasey was saying through that cold Icelandic air.

Onto my main man, Chris N., who likes Mexican food. I give him props because he didn’t read his poem off of the little notepad, but he actually read it from memory like he was at an audition. Although he forgot the words and said that aloud making it really awkward for everyone, I give him points for giving it a go like a real stage actor there. Not necessary, but, whatever.

Alas, this extra gusto did not get Chris N. the one on one date.

Kirk gets the victory because he walked toward Ali, sat down next to her and recited his lines. Ali said that the guys should have learned from the date at the Lion King that the guy that comes towards her wins the challenge. Hmm. Well, Roberto won the Lion King date because he sang “Can You Feel the Love Tonight” into your eyes. Pretty sure the guys were all looking into your eyes as much as they could while reading their poems. I really try to root for Ali, I try, but I just don’t care for her “rules” on these challenges - with the Lion King challenge the guy that sang the best was supposed to win – that didn’t happen and it’s same story with the poem. The best poem didn’t win, but the guy that gave Ali adequate attention won. It just doesn’t seem fair to me. What is fair on reality television love? What?? Chris Harrison, I need answers here. 

Poor Kirk and the Asbestos

The one on one with Kirk begins with the predictable voiceover of Ali stating that “she has fun with Kirk and loves how positive he is, but really wants to get to know him.” Also, how Kirk really has a, “zest for life.” How do these generic sayings poor out of her so easily? That could be said about any of those guys. I shouldn’t judge this; I haven’t walked a mile in the Bachelorette’s shoes aka pink converse…

Ali and Kirk start out their date having fun acting like a couple of kids and get matching sweaters. Iceland euphoria.

Ali is concerned because she learns Kirk hasn’t been in a relationship over a year and she feels that he is holding something back. (Ali, are you concerned about me, because until I met my husband, I hadn’t been in a relationship for over a year?) The concern about holding something back is legit. You really aren’t sure what you could be in for here. Was Kirk married? Was Kirk gay? Do you want a rose, Kirk? You better lay it on the table.

Little do we know that what he is hiding is how he was poisoned by Asbestos and was very sick for a couple of years.  Well, hell, Kirk, talk about a Bachelorette first. Forget Iceland, buddy, we weren’t expecting that.  I'm about to start a blog dedicated to former Asbestos victims now. Maybe he really does have a zest for life, poor kid. I can’t imagine having all of those symptoms and no one can figure out what is wrong with you. He’s definitely letting Ali in here, this can’t be easy for him to be so vulnerable with her. He gets the rose. Duh.

To me Kirk is the most likely to be friends with Robert and all of my friends’ husbands. I like him and it's not just because he's getting my sympathy vote here.

Kirk, I’m glad you’re healthy. Keep on keeping on. I'll say it again, you’re definitely a front runner.

Horses, Caves and the Lagoon

Besides the Lagoon, this entire day sounds sort of like my greatest fear. I’m just not adventurous like the risk taking, Ali. Freezing cold, large animals and going in a dark hole that looks like what baby Jessica got stuck in. Umm, no.

Nice shirt, Ty.

Ty definitely “cowboys” up and shows up everyone with his equestrian skills on this date. Way to represent the south, Ty. I bet your ex-wife is super proud of you. 

Chris N. we never see. Did he even do the horses or the cave thing? 

Chris L. falls off the horse. Ty comes to the rescue. 

Frank isn’t giving Ali enough attention. Lastly, I don’t know if you caught the last clip while the credits were rolling, but Craig R. has to ride a donkey, not a horse. Best part.

After the torture of the day is over, they finally get to relax and have some booze and go to the coolest thing about Iceland, that huge hot tub, also called the Lagoon. OMG, well that's why The Bachelorette came to Iceland, the bigger the hot tub, the more room to make out it!! Ali definitely gets a little tipsy and takes full advantage of this, as do the guys, pulling her away whenever possible except for Chris N. who we finally get a shot of and is fully submerged to his chin in the lagoon thinking about what he's going to order at his favorite Mexican food restaurant when he gets home. 

Ali assures Chris L., Ty, Frank and Roberto that she really is into them. Ty gets the rose.

Time marches on.

The Guardian and Protector of the Heart, Rated R and the Volcano

The tension has been mounting. Rated R got his cast off. Kasey has a tattoo to reveal. What is going to happen on this eruptive date?!

Get it? Eruptive?! Volcano??? Did they do that on purpose, I bet they did.

 This whole date is painful. They all look painfully cold. Rated R is painfully a bad person and Kasey painfully needs therapy. 

Kasey shows Ali his tattoo aka sends himself home and is then dramatically left on the glacier. I was really upset we didn’t get his leaving testimonial, but with further thought, it would have been way too emotional and I probably wouldn’t have been able to understand it, so it’s probably better that we didn’t see that.

Rated R is so obviously terrible I really don't find a need to comment on him. I love how he makes all of these comparisons of what is going on to wrestling. Need we remind you that your profession states that you are an Entertainment Wrestler?? That means the wrestling is FAKE, Rated R, as in staged, made-up, make believe. Please leave your wrestling analogies at the door next episode. 

Kasey, so long, I know one day you will find that special lady that will allow you to guard and protect her heart and good luck explaining that tattoo for the rest of your life.

The Rose Ceremony – Finally

Frank gives Ali attention, which is good because Ali requires a lot of that. A LOT. 

Craig is funny and draws a fake tattoo on his wrist making fun of Kasey. It’s kind of awful to make fun of the poor guy, but I’ve been doing it the whole season, so we're on the same page, Craig.  Anyway, Marilyn Monroe once said, “If you can make a woman laugh, you can make her do anything.”

Marilyn’s right. Craig made Ali laugh, Chris N. did not. Kasey definitely did not. Craig gets a rose.

Chris N., Chris N., I don’t even know how to start here. Ali is trying to dig and get something, anything out of him. He says two things here, two mere statements. Ali asks something that would surprise her about him and he says how his ex-girlfriend said that she was surprised to learn he is funny. Chris N., that is pretty effing surprising if I’ve ever heard it!! Ali asks what else is there about him that she doesn’t know. He responds that he likes Mexican food. Way to define yourself, Chris N. and way to go out more ambiguous than you came in! 

As stated, Chris N. does not get a rose and claims that he is shattered in his limo testimonial. Are you, Chris N.? I was under the impression that you weren’t invested in Ali AT ALL and came to respect and admire this about you. Apparently, you had me fooled. Adios, Chris N., I hope you are enjoying some mean enchiladas right now.

Onward, Ali confirms to Roberto that he is too hot for her and she melts like a puddle in his arms. Top two, I'll say it again, the man will be in the top two.

Sidenote and must be mentioned: The convo between Ali and Chris Harrison before the rose ceremony. She's not ready to let go and let herself fall in love? Well, Ali, you picked the wrong T.V. show to be on. Perhaps something on Bravo would have worked better for you. She is making me nervous that she is going to pick anyone. That will be maddening. I don't want to hear the whole, they might break my heart business. I've seen many a person believe in love after terrible experiences, you can do it, Ali, pull through for me here.

Okay, who can’t wait for Istanbul next week??? And who has the girlfriend???!! Rated R, my money is on you!!

Vacation in my mind.....

I am posting this morning out of complete fear that ppppffffttttt is going to become nothing more than a Bachelorette Recap blog. I might have to rename it www.bashingali.blogspot.com if I don’t post about something else soon.

(BUT, don’t worry, we will have last night’s recap by Bob Scarff coming at you shortly. Kasey got a tatoo? What!?)

So last Saturday was officially 6 months of being married for Robert and me. I was going to do something cute for him like buy him a 6-pack of good beer or do something with “6”. That fell by the wayside. Spooniest, I’m going to leave the cute stuff up to you and I’m going to be the person that fantisizes about it. J Perhaps, someday, I’ll get there.

This week, what is on my mind is that exactly six months ago, I was on my honeymoon. I was on an island. I was in Maui.

The island air does good things to your mind and spirt. It allows it to relax, to slow down, to just enjoy. I feel that these are healthy elements that should be a part of everyday life that the normal American just doesn’t allow themselves. We feel the need to work, then work-out, then cook, then clean then run errands, then check or email…the cycle, it doesn’t stop. In Maui, it stops. I can almost hear the ocean thinking about it.

Speaking of the pace of life, last Friday, Robert and I went to our local Lakewood Whole Foods. We love it there. Whole Foods in all of their brilliance is displaying their Top Ten Wines for the summer. Great wines and great prices. A cute bottle of red caught my eye (yes, i will buy a bottle because it's cute). I grabbed it and put it in my basket. Then, beyond the cheese section - I see it, the wine sampling table is out!! It’s the little things in life that make it so good. There is no one manning the table and I look around frantically because I really want to taste this cute wine that I chose to make sure it’s good.

here's the bottle.

VALDEMAR TEMPRANILLO

*Need an elegant, racy Red? Or a classic sipper with a modern twist? Pair this crowd pleaser's ripe cherry flavor and nose full of blackberries and currants with Gran Queso cheese and cookout classics, from fajitas to burgers. (it was VERY good, if you see it and like reds!)*

A willowy blond in her 30’s calls to me behind the cheese bar, “Did you want to sample?? Sorry it got busy back here, so I’m helping!”

“Oh no hurry! Yes, I have this bottle of red in my basket and I thought it might be a good idea to sample it.” I say, I don't want to pull her away from a cheese emergency back there.

As soon as she sees the bottle I chose, she gets really excited. “I love this wine, I love this brand,” she gushes, “This is the wine that got me serious about wines. Because of this brand of wine I moved to Spain after college and studies wines.”

Sigh. She’s one of those. One of those, pick up and move to Europe on a dime people. I want to be one of those.

I ask her about Spain and we start talking about the difference in the pace of life in Spain and the US. She says, “They think Americans are insane and work crazed!” I tell her I would love to move to Spain like she did and she says seriously, “You should. The euro is going down.” 

Well, Adios, everyone, the euro is down, Roberto and I are moving to Spain to learn about wine and siesta every day! It was like she thought that was all the reason I would need to pick up and move to Spain was the news that euro is down and that I should go ahead and book my one way ticket. Oh wine girl, life isn't that simple.

But…someday, maybe someday J 

Robert joins me at this point and she tells us that she graduated from Texas in '94 and we talk about Austin and how much it's changed. Oh, Whole Foods employees, you never dissapoint.

My Spain/wine conversation did get me thinking about where Americans are as a culture. I just stated reading The Omnivore’s Dilema and the first chaper is about how the question of “What’s for dinner?” has become so complex. It completely has for me, I question what is “healthy” all the time. Carbs/no carbs, organic/not organic, meat/ no meat. It's so tiring! Sometimes it makes me want to not care at all and eat cookie dough for every meal. (I won't Robert, don't worry.)

Americans in general seem to be a little lost when it comes to food. Our book stores are packed with shelf after shelf  of countless books on diets and healthy eating, yet we lead the world in obesesity. What does this say about us? I feel like our whole state of mind is off and the level that we enjoy life is skewed. The French, Italian and Spanish eat foods with heavy fat content and drink wine and almost every meal, yet are slimmer and more healthy than us. Their whole pace of life is different from ours, their whole state of mind of how to enjoy life is different from ours. Slower, more simple, more about enjoying and appreciating. Sort of like how you are when you are on vacation….

Like a vacation on an island. Aruba, Jamaica, ohh I wanna take ya….

(Yikes, Aruba=Nataile Holloway, that’s not as fun to sing anymore.)

Anyway --who says you can’t be on vacation mentally everyday? Not checked out, like I’m not going to do anything sort of way, but more in a appreciative enjoying life kind of way.

Go on vacation today and enjoy that pace…….

Straight from the Tasty Kitchen Blog to you ---- Mojito Madness!

I did not write this, but since Culinary Adventures with Bob and Al, brought you musings on the mojito, I thought this was only fair to post. You're REALLY going to want to go to happy hour after this! tgif, Al

It’s definitely lazy-by-the-pool time of the year, and what better to celebrate summer vacation than a collection of jewel-toned mojitos! Well, only made better if served by cute cabana boy, right? We went searching online for creative mojito recipes and came up with several beauties to share with you. You’ll have to source the cabana boy yourself, though.

Raspberry, mint, white rum: Icy-Cold Raspberry Mojito from A La Carte Kitchen is one of the prettiest mojitos I’ve ever laid eyes on.

Watermelon & Mint from Amy of Adventures of a Messy Chef. I made this recipe the other day and my guests thought I was the best host ever. See, dinner parties are easy with good booze!

In case it’s not 5 o’clock where you are, how about a Virgin Pom Mojito (pomegranate juice, mint and sparkling water) from blogger Mango and Tomato.

I’ve never had ice-envy before, but I do now. See this girly-pink Passionfruit Mojito below? The glass is made of ice! Yes, I want! Is it my birthday yet?

Blood Orange Mojitos from one of the cutest couples ever: Dhale and Pierre of Culinary Musings.

I found a satsuma orange mojito from Chow.com—Cochon’s Satsuma (Mandarin Orange) Mojito Recipe (you can substitute with a tangerine).

Canela shows us how to make the Ginger-Mint Mojito, with ginger ale, ginger brew and lots of fresh mint.

And I have one more for you, Shelisa’s Mango Mojito, which I know you’ll love! Happy lazy-by-the-pool day!

Shelisa’s Mango Mojito
Serves 2

Simple Syrup
1 cup water
1/2 cup sugar

Bring water to a light boil in a small sauce pan, remove from heat and stir in sugar. Let cool.

Mango Mojito
2 large handfuls of fresh mint leaves
2 mangos, peeled and cubed into 1/4-inch cubes
1/2 cup Bacardi Mango Rum
1/4 simple syrup
crushed ice
1 cup club soda

Add the mint leaves and mango to a shaker. Muddle together for 1 minute. Add in the rum, simple syrup and ice, cover and shake. Pour the mixed drink into a tall glass and add in the club soda.

_______________________________________

Jaden Hair is a food writer, television personality, and food photographer based in Tampa Bay, Florida. Find more of her recipes in her blog, Steamy Kitchen, where you can also read more about Jaden’s new book, The Steamy Kitchen Cookbook, and the rave reviews it’s received!

Bachelorette Season Six: Crutches, A Denim Shirt and A Stay at Home Dad

I’m going to start by breaking down last nights episode by numbers:

3 bikinis donned by Ali

2 hot tub scenes

3 separate occasions of tears – all by men

1 music video shot (really Barenaked Ladies?)

1 denim shirt

1 sneaky devil (Justin, that’s you)

1 awful dress

3 guys hit the dusty trail

2 sightings of the pink converse (Ali, I could not be MORE over those.)

And a partridge in a pear tree

Part One: Justin’s Folly

We know what’s on everyone’s mind, so let’s not beat around the bush and waste another second. Last night’s episode had several highlights, but mostly it revolved around one controversial figure. Justin “Rated R”, the Entertainment Wrestler from Canada. He has a broken foot and it is sort of pathetic to watch him hobbling around on group dates and propping up his cast up, sitting by the pool while the other guys get to splash around with Ali. I did have sincere moments of feeling bad for him. It would be hard to be physically incapacitated on this show, especially for a meathead like Justin.

You can completely tell he would be so unbearable if he didn’t have this cast on. He’d be the guy picking Ali up in the pool and throwing her around, showing off his muscles. Vom. He’d also be the guy that would be running to be the first to get to Ali when she is standing there waiting for them to pull up for their group dates. I think in a way Justin’s broken foot is God’s gift to us to make this show a tiny bit more bearable. I mean, God promises to not put us through anything we can’t handle and I think he pulled through with this one. I don’t think I could handle a not-injured Justin.

Onto Justin’s Folly –

(you know like Seward’s Folly – a history refernce, isn’t this fun??!!! William Seward was the Secretary of State that was under Abraham Lincoln and Andrew Johnson and was responsible for the purchase of Alaska. The public opinion was that it was a HUGE mistake, until……..they found the oil!)

Justin’s Folly is that he decided to do “whatever he had to do” to spend time with Ali by walking on crutches up the highway to her house. I didn’t know if I was watching Fear Factor or The Bachelorette at this point. They put on the dramatic music and it shows him making his way up the treacherous highway, cars passing, and sweat on his brow. I think he actually declared, “ if I have to risk my life to spend time with Ali, I will. “ Will you, Justin? Or are you just trying to be a meathead and win the competition? I feel that his trek up Mount Everest had little to do with Ali and much more to do with getting an edge on the competition by being the only guy ballsy enough to walk or hobble rather with crutches to her home.

Sidenote because I can’t take it anymore and now I’m saying it too: THIS IS NOT ALI’S HOUSE. This is ABC’s house that Ali is residing in. Also, THESE ARE NOT DATES THAT ALI PLANS. Some intern or assistant at ABC plans these dates. Ali probably okays it and that’s all the ownership she gets of that. If I hear her say one more time, “I’ve got the best date planned….” I might freak out. Do you, Ali? Do YOU have the best date planned? Let’s be real.

Okay, back to Justin’s Folly. Here’s where he really effs up. His grand gesture cuts into time that Ali was supposed to spend with Hunter for a one-on-one date. She’s late picking up poor innocent puppy dog eyes Hunter. If this guy stood a chance before, he doesn’t now.  As if Ali doesn’t have enough distractions to deal with (thinking about what she can wear with her pink converse mostly) but, now she has to deal with an unexpected pop-in by aggressive/testosterone Justin right before her date with mild/passive Hunter.

To top it off Justin doesn’t tell any of the guys that he went to see Ali, I guess that’s okay, they are not his legal guardians or something, but then he LIES to his whereabouts that afternoon. That’s like being an OU Alumni and then going to OU/TX wearing a Texas shirt (Ward Eastman). Do you want people to hate you? You are literally asking for people to hate you because you are just openly being a prick. (I don’t hate Ward, but do find that completely unacceptable behavior.) Craig R. flat out asks Justin where he’s been all day and Justin easily replies, that he was “sleeping”. Then later in another conversation he tells Kurt that he bets it would take hours to walk to Ali’s (excuse me ABC’s) house.  Justin, you’re an idiot!  Dude, this is on camera, remember?  Why are you lying?? Like Seward’s folly, the public opinion now is that you’ve made a BIG mistake.

William Henry Seward

Justin. 

Or did he?

At the rose ceremony the guys don’t know about Justin’s secret mission to Ali’s at first, they learn of it later. But, they are still plotting against him like the KKK wanting to burn down someone’s house. They are all in a circle and Ty is saying that, “Justin is one person with Ali and one person in the house with us. People just need to be the SAME person everywhere.” Deep, Ty, very deep. Justin approaches this circle and asks, “Who are you talking about?”

Awkward silence. Shuffeling. Then, the Godfather speaks.

Roberto: “I think you know.”

Justin objects, he doesn’t understand what he has to do to prove himself to these guys. He cries is a dark corner of the grounds –breakdown city.

Of course, Ali is aware that there is tension with Justin and sympathizes with him, saying how similar this is to the situation with Vienna. Ummm, Ali, you hated Vienna. You were like Pontius Pilate and Vienna was Jesus and you cruicified her the whole season. You threatened to leave if Jake kept choosing Vienna. Yet, you sympathize with Justin? I guess no one told Ali the sacred rule: Chicks before dicks.

Ali is restraining herself from strangling Vienna here.

Roberto approaches Ali at the rose ceremony and mentions the Justin drama and Ali tells Roberto that Justin came to see her the same day as Hunter’s one-on-one date. And the flood gates let loose. Not one of the guys knows of this. “Justin didn’t tell you guys?”, Ali squeaks. I think maybe maybe there could be a glimmer of hope she sees that Justin is shady. Roberto immediately tells the guys, even Jesse, who succeeded in a Bachelorette first by sporting a denim shirt to the rose ceremony (I mean, he looked like he just got done painting a fence and it was awesome), but even he is thrown off. “Wwhhhhatttt??”, says Jesse. There is uproar among the guys. Justin’s Folly………oh but wait, the man strikes oil, he got a rose.

I still smell trouble. Alaska is great and all, but it still has people like Sarah Palin. It can't really be trusted.

Part Two: The Sleepers

Chris L. is a sleeper. They just don’t tape enough of him and Ali’s conversations and I think he’ll be in the top three. ABC is trying to trick me, but they can’t do it- I am on to them! Last night he finally told Ali about the close relationship he had with his mom and that she passed away a year and a half ago. Break through in their relationship, plus if you tell someone about a death, they’d have to be heartless not to give you a rose. Everybody wins.

Kurt. Kurt, I didn’t even know your name last week, so you’re definitely a sleeper. Kurt had the make-out scene in the bed with Ali during the Barenaked Ladies music video. And there was chemistry! Steamy, Kurt, very steamy. He did say the cutest thing after he got the rose on the group date. He said, “I’ve been myself this whole time and Ali likes me. Ali likes the real me!” I still feel this way about Robert. Robert likes the real me?! It makes me want to float on a cloud with Kurt.

Anyway, cheers to Chris L. and Kurt, keep it up boys.

Part Three: The Weatherman

This is already way too long, so I’m just going to throw it out there.

Is he gay?

He cried because he was so nervous about kissing Ali. The man cried. I’m sure nerves were at an all time high, but he was making me want to take a Xanax or a Valium or both during his breakdown. He makes me feel so awkward that I don’t know what to do with myself. I like want to cover my eyes like a horror moving when he starts talking to Ali. I’m certain Ali feels this, but still, he got a rose.

Ugg! The horror! Painful!

Part Four:  Ali is shocked to find out that Roberto’s first language is Spanish.

ALI, HIS NAME IS ROBERTO. RO-BERT-O. 

Ali is putty in Roberto’s hands by the way. PUTTY.  He’s in the final two, I just know it.

And finally…

Part Five: Are you sure about that, Hunter?

As we know, Hunter went home on his one on one date. Ali didn’t feel that romantic connection. Sorry, Ali, Hunter is normal and isn’t confessing his deepest secrets to you upon your first hour of conversation. Anyway, early on during the date when they were cooking burgers on the grill and things starting pouring out of Hunter’s mouth that I don’t think he could control. Ali said she felt domestic in the apron she had on. Hunter somehow started saying that he liked his job, but he could see himself cooking and cleaning and staying home with the kids.

Hunter, are you sure this is what you want?

Whoa, whoa, whoa, Hunter!!! No one said you needed to be a stay at home Dad here. Did he just say that because he thought Ali wanted to hear it? We may never know. Single career oriented ladies in San Antonio, find Hunter. He could be the one for you.

That’s all for now folks……be sure to tune in next week, Ali and her suitors begin their trip around the world!

p.s. Just learned that The Barenaked Ladies didn't use that video as their "official video" and realized I wasn't even able to comment on Frank and his jealousy...oh wellllll...........