Thursday, February 5, 2009

1 piece of nicotine gum=4 cigarettes --The Office continued...

Here is another thing I don't understand about one of the employees here at RPI; if it's been 5 years since you've quit smoking, is it still necessary to chew nicotine gum in mass quantities? Apparently, it is. Hey, whatever helps you quit, I'm all for, but I don't get it.

Trey, the VP of RPI, chews probably 4 to 5 pieces of nicotine gum per hour. Not per day, per HOUR. I am not exaggerating. In the last month, due to the bad economy and the level of business coming in, Trey has decided that he is going to put Mary and I through "Lease School". This is good because neither of us want to be secretaries for the rest of our lives, but sometimes Lease School gets really awkward. It always starts out with a high school story from Trey, some kind of harsh statement that makes us really tense and then we start learning about real estate.

Today's Lease School began with a story about how Trey accidentally took drugs (high school story), then I asked Trey why he still chewed nicotine gum and he replied with, "So I don't kill people at work" (harsh statement) and then usually we proceed to learn about real estate. I don't know if Mary is feeling crazy today because of this Postum thing or what, but she decided that she wanted to chew some nicotine gum. Trey agreed to let her have some if she agreed to follow his instructions about chewing it. Chew four or five times, then hold it in the side of your mouth. Little did we know that one piece of it is equivalent to four cigarettes. You know, I may not remember what a cap rate is in five years, but I guarantee that I will remember that one piece of nicotine gum equals four cigarettes. Thank you for the education, Trey.

I'm telling you, the fun does not stop around here.

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