Thursday, March 8, 2012

the picture

I found this via Pinterest a couple weeks ago and people are repinning it like crazy. I think it strikes a cord and I thought I'd share.

(I also need to write about something other than The Bachelor. Shout out to Neal Ferrari, who I didn't even know read my blog  :) )

This does screw us up for so long. This picture in our heads of how life is supposed to be.

In high school we are "supposed to have a boyfriend/girlfriend/significant other". Or at least I thought I was. My parents were high school sweethearts. In movies everyone has a boyfriend. Where was my boyfriend? I enjoyed and loved high school, but I remember wondering why I didn't have this boyfriend that fit in the "picture of how my life was supposed to be" and I let it make me insecure. Lame, I know. ( and, yes, I did date a little. but, i didn't have that major high school boyfriend.)

In college we are "supposed to be having the time of our lives". If we fall on hard times we feel cheated. Some of my darkest days were in college and it didn't seem right because that was NOT how life was "supposed to be" at any time, but especially this time. What was wrong with me? (a lot, but there's not a post long enough for that. ha.)

As we get older, the stakes seem higher. We are supposed to have a great job and be on our feet financially. We are supposed to be married. This is the picture we had of our lives, right? Hello, we are almost 30 here? When things aren't happening the way we picture, we spend time and energy wondering why. Time and energy that is taken away from enjoying all that we have, but longing for the "picture". Stressing about the "picture". Trying to figure out how to get this "picture". But you know what happens...when we get that job or we find that special someone and get married, "the picture of how it's supposed to be" doesn't stop haunting us. We have a picture of how the great job should be, pay, look like. We have a picture in our head of the way a married couple is supposed to be and how a married life should look like and we feel jaded when it's not what we thought.

And you know what doesn't help....Facebook. You know what I mean. Look who is engaged, traveling, has a new house, baby...the list goes on. When you are in a bad place, it can take you to an even worse place really quickly.

I don't think Facebook is the problem though. The problem is that damn picture in our minds. We feel entitled to have this fake life we've made up?  

But, you know what I've realized. That our real lives, how things actually are right now, will always be so much better then this picture we have.

For me, I've looked back and you realized how God works and how our lives unfold the way they are meant to. So, I didn't have a boyfriend in high school because my heart wasn't ready for that. and I went through that hard time in college because God was shaping me and teaching me to need him. That nothing else could satisfy what He could fill in me. 

When I look back, I'm not sad that I didn't have the picture perfect past. I am thankful.

So, I encourage you, if you're like me and still somehow struggle with this picture of how life is supposed to be, LET IT GO. Just let it go.

Chances are the picture we have of what we think our lives should be is a tiny smidgen of the joy God actually wants for you. And this, friends, is exciting.

1 Corinthians 2:9

But, as it is written, "What no eye seen, nor ear heard, nor the heart of man imagined, what God has prepared for those who love him" -


Ashley White said...

Great post! Amen!!!!

Neil Ferrari said...

Thanks for the shout out. I also believe I told you something along these lines (though not a eloquent) the first day I met you.

alexis scarff said...

Ashley, thank you!!!

and Neil, yes, you certainly did at Momo's pasta and you were right though it took me a while to figure out. Neil Ferrari - my life coach, starting from day one. :)

Jamie said...

Love this.

Thoughts in a Hammock said...

Good stuff. I wish I had realized all this long ago. I have been dealing with this a lot lately.

Anonymous said...

still looking for that brown blouse that Lindzi wore....