Monday, November 3, 2008

I get it.

A couple days ago, as I was leaving work. I asked Trey, one of my bosses, if he needed me to do anything before I left. You know, make a copy, send a fax or something along those lines. His reply was, "You know what you can do for me, Alexis. You just find a man. Go to a park tonight and just meet a guy." We are on a friend level so it's not weird or creepy that he said that and I know he was completely joking. Still, I'm thinking..."Well, there's another person that thinks I'm incomplete with out a male in my life. Yay." But, since it's Trey and I respect him immensely, I reply, "I'm working on that one, Trey!"

Onward to last Saturday, I'm hanging out with one of my best friends, Adrian. She's engaged and we are catching up on things. I'm telling her how there was a point on Halloween night where I stopped remembering things due to alcohol consumption and that I need to be engaged like her so I find motivation to calm the hell down. (OR maybe I should just use MODERATION?) Anyway, she says, "You know, Alexis, you should think about Internet dating. A lot of people find someone that way." ppppffffftttttt. She's right though. People do find someone that way. It is logical, you're connected with a network of people that are looking to be in a relationship. I've seen the commercials and I too know several people that it's worked for. That's great, good for them, but are my own friends starting to think that the only way I'm going to date is via Internet???

What is it about that whole "eharmony.com" thing that seems so forced to me? I feel like this influx of Internet dating sites is another example of society's obsession with immediacy. One day you decide you're ready to commit and now all you have to do is pay a fee, fill out a survey and volia! Here's someone you can connect with!

What happened to boy meets girl, boy likes girl, boy asks girl out, girl falls for boy...you know just the natural progression of things. That seems to be ancient in so many aspects of life. Take the weight loss industry. No one wants to invest six months to a year of eating healthy and exercising. They would rather go buy a bottle of Hydroxycut, stop eating, still have energy and volia! You feel skinny for the weekend. Never mind that it affects you negatively mentally and physically! People are not supposed to loose 10 pounds in 2 weeks, that is weird and unnatural. Even technology mirrors this. Can someone tell me one thing the iPhone CAN'T do at the touch of a button, I swear the next one is going to be able to transform into a car.

As life moves faster and faster and the ability to make things happen now becomes possible, I'm left to wonder, can't the process of love and relationships stay simple and whole? My observation over the past couple years has been something like...boy meets girl, boy texts girl, girl sees boy out with friends, boy makes out with girl, boy and girl gchat, boy ignores girl next times he sees her, girl acts likes she could care less, boy adds girl on facebook...and the process starts alllllll over. I mean I don't want to be Debroah Kerr and Cary Grant here, but please tell me there is something more substantial then this.

My mom does not understand this new dating phenomenon. It really confuses her. I was driving to meet up with some friends and talking to her on the phone a couple weeks ago and she hits me with, "I was talking to your dad the other day and I really think it's time that you get a boyfriend. We think it would be good for you." I love how she thinks that it's a decision like washing my hair or buying a new shirt. I think I'll get a boyfriend today! Yay, life is perfect, I feel great! I have a boyfriend, everyone! She's alluded to this before earlier this year, when my roommate and I were deciding if we were going to live together. My mom said, "You need to decide if you're going to get married or live with Sarah." It was May, Sarah and I were moving out in July. Soooo, did she think I was going to find a boyfriend and get married by July?? And once again, she acts like all I have to do is decide. "I will get married." and the proposals will just come flying in...like I'm trying to find a new job or applying to grad school. Lo siento, madre, it does not work that way.

I do know what my mom is trying to say, and what Trey is trying to say, AND what Adrian is trying to say. I GET IT. I'm 25, having a relationship with someone is a wonderful thing and they want me to have that. I too, want to experience that, but it is not my top priority or my first thought when I wake up in the morning. My life is so blessed with wonderful people that even when I start to feel alone, they remind me that is the furthest thing from the truth. While I realize that the absolute best family and friends cannot take the place of a romantic relationship, I don't want something that is forced and not meant to be. I do not want the Hydroxycut of relationships. I want something that is authentic and real with out anyone attempting to control what will happen. I take that back, there is a control that I do wish upon all aspects in my life. That is the complete peace I have with the knowledge that God is in control. I know every one's views and beliefs may differ here, but for me every good and bad thing that has happened to me has led me back to the same conclusion, that God is real and in control. So really, this whole relationship deal is kind of insignificant if I truly believe that God will ultimately take care of my life if I just let go and trust. Perhaps, now I can begin to "GET IT", the way that I really should.....

Jeremiah 29:11-13 (New International Version)
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart."

love love to everyone.

Fight Red Raiders beat OSU this weekend!!! AND, of course...Boomer Soonerrrrrr!!!!

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