IIIIIIIIIIII don't want a lot for Christmas.....

and that is the beginning of the Christmas song that just keeps on giving by Mariah Carey.

here it is if you need a refreshing of it's greatness



never gets old. it just doesn't. (old school Mariah in the video is kind of cute too?) WOW. I'm calling Mariah cute?? I am definitely in the holiday spirit.

And yes, I'll state it, it is official, I have crossed over from stress and dread and I am now fully excited about Christmas. How does that happen?? Maybe I just decided to buck up and change my horrible attitude? Yes, that could be it. Or maybe I can't really control my attitude because I'm pregnant and my hormones are insane. Who knew hormones were such little bitches? I mean, we girls experience it a little, but this pregnancy thing is a WHOLE other monster. So, really, I could be out of the Christmas spirit in the next 12 hours, I better embrace it while I can....

DECK THE HALLS!!

HO HO HO!!!!

SILVER BELLS!!!!

RUDOLPH!!!! 

Yes, my mood is like the wind. Ever changing. Ever unpredictable. Ever annoying. Ever full of debris that could kill someone that gets in it's path. Sounds scary, doesn't it?? It is! You can ask Robert! ha. but not ha.

So with all this Christmas cheer all about, I've declared a new Christmas tradition for Robert and I. So far our Christmas traditions have been

a. we don't get a tree
b. i have a major breakdown

Brief recap:

For Christmas of '09 we were just married and got back from our honeymoon on December 20th and then we were going to Houston for Christmas, so there was no time to get a tree. Even if we did, we would have had it up for like 4 days. What's the point? Also, I had minimal half ass gifts for Robert's family because after the wedding and running around like a crazy person, holiday shopping was LAST on my priority list. My first Christmas with the in-laws and I was playing at the junior varsity level with Christmas gifts? Omg, did I even buy one thing for Mamaw?? Panic. This caused me to have major guilt and turned into me having a major crying breakdown pre-Christmas '09. Yikes. Welcome to marriage, hang on because I am going to freak out now. Everything ended up being fine. We had a great Christmas.

Christmas of '10 came about and we kept putting off getting a tree. Eventually we rationalized that we couldn't afford it, plus we would have to buy lights and ornaments and it just seemed like it would be "more economic for us if we didn't get a tree". How depressing? No tree. That year we were driving to New Mexico to be with my family. We were packing and loading up the car and suddenly I turned into Satan towards Robert. I emailed my friends afterwards that I had just turned into the "black swan". It was really bizarre in casa de Scarff for about an hour. It started out with me being REALLY hateful to Robert and saying some awful things, then I packed the whole car by myself out of rage and then starting crying because I realized that I was being a complete psychopath. I mean. WOW. Girl Interrupted on Christmas. Please admit into the ward with Winona Ryder and Angelina Jolie. It was really weird/disturbing. Luckily, Robert didn't file for divorce and forgave me and all was well. We went to New Mexico and had a great holiday.

And here we are Christmas '11. And guess what we don't have...oh a tree. We moved the first week of December and are still in the process of "putting up" and "organizing", so once again a tree did not make sense for us. NO CHRISTMAS TREE....3 YEARS RUNNING. I bet Santa is angry. I bet the Easter Bunny is angry. I bet the Great Pumpkin and Charlie Brown are angry. Why no tree?! My office has a tree up and they are the cheapest, non-celebrating Christmas people on earth. I mean, my boss is Jewish. On what planet would my office have a tree up and my home not??? Mars?? No, this planet. I do have some decor up. Stockings (from the Judds...yay), garland, a couple snowmen, Christmas dish towels, a Christmas candy bowl with all three Christmas Hershey kisses...I'm kind of proud of that actually...here's a pic

Merry Kissmas :)

All that is well and good, but still NO tree. Hoping to break this tradition in 2012. 

Also, I think my Christmas of '11 breakdown may have happened last week. At least they are getting earlier every year? I had a couple days that were touch and go. I could NOT stop crying at everything and I was just overwhelmed with life. All things Christmas made me want to throw something. Friday things started to look up and Saturday, Robert and I had to go to the mall to buy his Mamaw a nightgown and it really ended up putting me in the spirit. Things have been looking up since then! And I am so thankful. When they say the bad days make you appreciate the good days, it really is true. I appreciate the days when I'm not crying every hour on the hour. I appreciate them a lot. 

Okay, so onward to the new Christmas tradition that we are going to instill. Maybe something positive this time...this "no tree" bit and "mental breakdown" thing is not what Christmas carols are made of. Last night, we watched Home Alone and made spaghetti and it may sound like a little thing, but it was just really nice. I want to do it every year with Robert. It can be our thing every Christmas. Our tradition. We will always have good times with our families, but this can be just a little something we can do that is ours. 

Spaghetti +Home Alone=happiness 

So happy to have Christmas cheer right now ...hope you have some too. And if not, don't fret, maybe you'll have a breakdown and then it'll kick in like mine. :)