dragging

For the last two Mondays, I have definitely had a "case of the Mondays". I am so tired. I know a lot of people are tired on Mondays, so I thought I'd share some "pins" that my sister posted that made me smile today. Smiling helps one wake up. - Abraham Lincoln. Just kidding. He never said that. Okay, happy Monday, we are half way through, we can do this. Maybe. ha

ha. sorry, i just can't stand A&M. i went to OU and Tech and Baby went to Texas. so yeah. 

remember when Brit shaved her head? that was rough. 

in honor of v-day this month. i don't know if this is real, but pretty awesome ;)

Thank you sister and thank you pinterest. While I was looking at these I didn't want to crawl under my desk and go to sleep. 

p.s. 28 weeks pregnant today and taking my gestational diabetes test. yee-haw!! 

Hey people in Dallas...

Do you want to send that special someone something Valentine's day?? But, not something too serious, just something light/cute/different and fun?? Are you just wracking your brain on the perfect thing? Does this special someone love pugs?

Well, then a Valentine's Day Pug Gram could be for you. Click here for details.

A pug delivers the candy bouquet?? I'm sorry, that is hilarious, even if you're not obsessed with pugs, like myself. Plus all proceeds go the the DFW Pug Rescue. Everybody wins.

I'm not one to usually do this sort of thing, but I've already dropped hints to my Valentine that I want one. Candy and pugs?? Duh. :)

Happy February, everyone. 

Market Report

Last Sunday, Robert and I were talking about Radio Shack. Remember when we were little and there was all this cool stuff at Radio Shack? 

We were wondering....What's there now? Who even goes there? How are they still in business? All these questions....

And then I happened to catch this in this in the Business section of the Dallas Morning News while I was waiting for my sandwich at Witch Which on Tuesday. 

Well, that answers that. Poor Radio Shack. Looks like the 4 people out there that are still loyal customers will have to find another place to purchase shower radios and remote control cars soon. 

continued....Episode 5. Puerto Rico!

Nothing spices things up like a trip to a Latin Country. Puerto Rico is Latin right?? Even though it's in the Caribbean? Idk...idk.

So, we start things off with a one on one with Nikki! Since Nikki is from Texas, I've thought that she looks familiar. But, I don't know her at all and I need to stop entertaining the thought that we had a class together in college. Nikki is really bubbly and sweet...perfect personality for her profession of dental hygiene. (Shout out to my mom who has been a dental hygienist for about 30 years!) Also, something else you must know about Nikki, she has had a divorce.....soooooo, you know we are going to have to talk about that elephant in the room.

wow. cute pic. nikki is quite photogenic. 

Nikki becomes extra bubbly and excited about learning she is chosen for the one on one and excitedly runs to get ready and put on her best colorful Puerto Rican style dress. That dress would only be cute in Puerto Rico. It was just too something...too one sleeved, too multi-colored, too short. I don't know, just TOO something. But, she is rocking it and off they go on their date and how else could it possibly start?? On a helicopter, of course!! Best way to see the island! Best visual party for the audience at home watching!! They land and grab sno-cones (yum) and start walking the town and it starts raining, not like a trickle but like a full fledged storm. They are soaked and running around sort of frantically. But, what does Nikki do? She just doesn't care! Let's that make-up run off in the rain! Proving to Ben what a cool chick she truly is. 

Somewhere in the course of this Robert and I  get into a discussion of "what size Nikki is". Nikki was looking a little..hmmm hefty, I guess would be the right word? I remind Robert that she is just a normal girl and a normal size and I would look like a WHALE on this show. But, then I proceed to tell Robert that pre-pregnancy I was a size smaller than Nikki. Which I think I might be or maybe I just really WANT to be because I don't want to think I would be the hefty one on The Bachelor. pppffffftttttt

Then Robert hits me with this gem, I actually tweeted it. He goes, "If you weren't pregnant you'd be as skinny as those other girls on there, except the really skinny ones." He was so sincere and he thought it was a huge compliment. But, in other words, I'd be Nikki, and husbands and wives all across America would be debating if I was "hefty". Oh welllll, oh well. 

After the rain storm, Ben and Nikki do some Puerto Rican shopping. I wondered if this was originally part of the date or if they just needed to change after the rain. Nikki picks out a moo-moo. #notcute. I even like some moo-moos, not this one. It had some sort of necklace halter thing? eww. But, I didn't see the selection and maybe that's the best she could do. Ben goes totally Latin and rocks an all linen white get-up. Robert was like "what is he doing?" and I thought he was just being silly and it was kind of funny. (remember i think corny things are really funny now). They continue to walk around town and what should they come upon but a wedding!! And what is this a perfect opportunity for...well for Nikki to talk about her divorce...duh! I feel like I now know more about Nikki's divorce then I ever cared too and I think Ben felt the same way. She was young...blah blah...they became different people...blah blah....they went to counseling. Never ending story. But, Ben felt she opened up and thinks she can just chalk that failed marriage up to being young and Nikki gets the rose. 

Next up...group date time! It should just be called emotional sh*t show time, but we'll just stick to group date time for now. And it's a baseball theme!! Take me out to the effing ball game, ABC. The girls get coached on some hitting and fielding and they are actually looking pretty good. I couldn't help thinking about how much I would have hated this date. I am just not sporty. Don't make me play softball. Everything is seems to be going great and then Chris Harrison (uh-oh something is about to happen) pops up and says the girls need to split up in teams and they are going to play a softball game vs. one another and the losing team does not get to go with Ben for the night. 

he wouldn't be smiling if he knew the suffering the losing team was going to endure

Of course, everyone is taking this entirely too seriously. Blakely keeps mentioning that she played softball in high school AND college. Wait, Blakely went to college? Well, then why is Blakely a cocktail waitress? hmmm. Somehow they get a competitive game going. They keep tying and having to go into more innings. How do they not all suck??! My friends and I trying to play a real game of softball would be a joke. But these girls actually keep scoring and making this a real game. Finally, Jennifer strikes out and the red team takes the victory over the blue team. How ironic because Jennifer strikes out again at the end of the episode and doesn't get a rose. Oops! Spoiler alert! Oh, almost forgot to mention the classic Courtney line of the game. She said, "Blakely is good. I didn't know stripers could play baseball." Courtney, BE MEANER. p.s. this is on TV, Blakely's DAD can hear you. 

those outfits....

the agony of defeat. 

You would have thought the losing team was just sent into exile to Afghanistan for the rest of their lives by the way they reacted to not getting to spend another 4 hours with Ben. Lots. of. tears. Blakely is especially distraught because she hasn't had a one on one yet. Emily still feels like an ass for talking bad about Courtney to Ben. Rachel is upset, but not really, because roller girl doesn't get upset. And Jennifer is verbally abusing herself because she is the reason they lost. It was also major salt in the wound when a helicopter landed on the baseball field to pick up Ben and the winning team. Ouch. All the while Courtney is spewing out all of these ridiculous insults at the losing team that don't even make sense. 

oh yeah, and Ben gave, Lindzi (horse chick), immunity and she got to go with the winning team

So, onward through the night. Ben gives Kasi B. the rose because she's "The Frontrunner". I'm telling you guys, Ben digs this chick. Courtney wants to start spitting and putting hexes on Kasi B., but instead she gets Ben to go walk by the ocean with her and tells him of her skinny dipping fantasies, thinking that this will in every way one-up this Kasi B. connection. Classy, Courtney, use that sex appeal. Butttttt, no skinny dipping happens...yet....

Next we have the one on one with Elyse. The personal trainer from Florida. And they're on a boat! Yacht time! Ben says being on the yacht with Ashley last season was a turning point for him. Does someone need to remind him that it didn't work out?? Maybe don't compare ANYTHING with "what happened with Ashley". 

Anyway, Elyse tells Ben she's already accomplished everything she wants to in life and she just wants someone to share it with. I don't think I've ever heard anyone say that they have "accomplished everything they wanted in life". Elyse did get her Masters, so yay, but really, there's not more out there you want to do? And she is a personal trainer. I'm pretty sure the guy that used to be my personal trainer didn't finish high school, so I don't know what that means, other than "way to really utilize that Masters degree, Elyse." They jump off the boat and Elyse is being really "open". It's dinner time already! Elyse then says the thing that really puts the nail in the coffin, "I'm just tired of being single." she tells Ben. Whoa. Red flag. Ben does not like that. Which really confuses me because every one of this show including himself is obviously tired of being single. So tired, if fact, they are willing to date someone on prime time television. Regardless, Ben is not feeling Elyse and he cannot give her the rose. 

Robert thought she was going to get it, but I knew it was time to let Elyse go. They even played the David Grey, theme song of this season, to really get everyone emotional. Poor Elyse even asks Ben what she did wrong. I wish he could have just handed her a copy of the book "He's just not that into you". Still, it's sad, poor thing. 

adios. 

The girls back at the suite are debating if Elyse will come back when what should happen...someone comes to get her purple suitcase. Gasp! Courtney is thrilled and says "maybe she got to drunk and her Jersey Shore came out." The other girls say nothing and look at each other like "did she just say that?". But, touche, Courtney, because Elyse does have a bit of a Jersey Shore look. Still, what kind of witch says that? You reap what you sew, Courtneyyyyyyy. 

And if I haven't typed the word Courtney enough, we have to go into what she does next. She sneaks out and offers Ben a "night-cap" and a chance to fulfill her promise of going skinny dipping! Has she lost her damn mind? She says the other girls are going to hate her when they find out, but it's fine because she already has enough friends. Really? I want proof of that. It's hard for me to believe that Courtney even has ONE friend. She's terrible, let's be real. So, she goes onto bombard Ben and pretend to care and be sympathetic about his day and how hard it was on him to let Elyse go. But, she is really just throwing her model body in his face. Literally, she was pulling down her robe to give him a sneak peak.

Ben said, "Oh my."

Yes, oh my, Ben. So they skinny dip in the ocean. Both fully nude and ABC had to blur out, you know, their parts. WHAT A SCANDAL. 

Rose ceremony time. Emily sits Ben down and says she's totally focused on their relationship now and none of the other girls, but then says, she still thinks Courtney is deceiving him. OMG. Can she just NOT bring up Courtney? Apparently, she cannot. Ben tells her to, "be careful and tread lightly because she has no idea what goes on between him and the other women." Emily leaves the conversation with Ben and tells the other girls, "he hates me." Oh geeezz. Hate is a strong word.

The girls are sitting around with their cocktails and what should come up but, skinny dipping! Courtney keeps hinting at what she did, but not really, and no one catches on to her secret rendezvous with Ben  Blakely tells Ben something deep, but it made absolutely no sense and I refuse to let myself go back to that conversation. 

And the conclusion, that I mentioned earlier, the shocker, that Jennifer, the accountant from Oklahoma, didn't get the rose. I really thought it would be Emily. I was surprised. This is so real! Poor Jennifer was already talking about how great it would be to bring Ben home. Frowny face. At least Ben didn't lead her on any more? And Ben keeps picking this Jamie chick? I have not seen them have ONE conversation, but she just keeps on keeping on. You go girl. 

who are you? 

I can't not mention the previews for the upcoming weeks. Looks like the girls are rallying for an Anti-Courtney Movement. Could like the model from San Fran could be going down?? Watch her win? Perfect. pppfffffffttttttt. And what on earth happens to poor crying Casey S.?? Boo. I don't want her to go home. I like her and her clothes. 

see you next week. scary! 

Bachelor, Season: Ben Episodes 4 and 5

Park City and Episode 4 seem so far away right now and I am going to struggle to remember, but I'll try to hit some high points. 

Of all the seasons of this show that I've watched, Episode 4 was totally the Bachelor gone Western. They were really trying to push this whole outdoorsy, "Ben is a cowboy" theme. Why must Ben be a cowboy? The wine thing is working for him, we don't need to put him on a horse. But they do and it is painful. I had to close my eyes. Back to that later. 

Ben kicks off this episode with a one on one with Rachel. 

I call Rachel, "Heather Graham" or Rachel, but in my head it's always Heather Graham. Ben and Rachel's date proved that Ben's expectations in women are pretty low. Ben and Rachel have more silent pauses and uncomfortable conversations than Kim Kardashian and Kris Humpries on the season finale of "Kim and Kourtney Take New York". Yet, Ben insists that she really opened up and hit it off. Okay?? I think you just want to date a Heather Graham look-alike. Please. We've all seen Boogie Nights. Ben is most likely having fantasies of roller-girl when he asks Rachel to accept this rose. 

Now, onto the group date! Horseback riding and fly fishing...Ben is SO outdoorsy. Ben LOVES the outdoors, everyone. 

The internet is a wondrous thing.  Here he comes ladies!

Someone out there captured Ben's struggle with the horse in the picture above.#helphimsomeone Still the girls thought he looked "just like prince charming". They need some perspective, but it's not going to happen. And good for Ben for just being willing to look sort of clumsy on the horse. He doesn't take himself to seriously, I like that about him. 

After a beautiful horse back ride, it's time to fly fish! It actually does look kind of fun, I've always wanted to wear those overall things and see what this is all about. Well, not always, but since the last couple of years when I see the pics of couples on Facebook fly fishing. I think, "hmm, that's cute. Maybe I should do that someday. Just for the pictures alone."

Anyway, back to the girls. I think this is the episode where Kasi B. is crying every 2 minutes in the confessional. She is claiming this is so much harder than she thought. Again - perspective is needed. Someone needs to remind her that she wasn't just diagnosed with HPV, she is just on a reality TV show. This is not "hard". Ben does make a point to spend time with Kasi during the fishing. This is good because she really needs to be reminded of their "connection" to continue breathing.

Courtney is being weird. Surprise surprise. I think she keeps on saying like how catching a fish is like catching a man. And she KNOWS how to catch a man. Well, let's hope so, Courtney. I mean, for Petes sake, you're a model. I mean all you really have to do to get a man's attention is just stand there. She finds a way to get Ben to come fish with her away from the other girls. Lindzi (first impression rose winner and horse chick) is really demanding that this is HER date because she loves the outdoors and is trying to fish with Ben and Courtney. Uggg. Courtney is annoying, but Lindzi is managing to be more annoying. We get it, Lindz, you LOVE the outdoors. You LOVE horses. By some sheer miracle Courtney manages to catch a fish. She really feels validated by this and that this means she is WAY better than the other girls. I don't really think it means anything besides pure dumb luck, but that's just me. 

So, the group date moves forward to the evening for cocktails and hot tubbing/swimming/spa-ing. Nikki (divorced dental hygienist from Texas) and Ben have a conversation and Nikki expresses her deep gratitude that Ben has chosen her to go on group dates and how much fun she has had. They chat a little more..."blah blah blah". Then Samantha interrupts to talk to Ben and as if it was scripted she expresses her deep anger that Ben has only asked her on group dates and she is NOT happy about it. She couldn't have made herself look worse. What was she even saying? You can't force someone to want to get to know you. I think she's coming to terms with realizing that she is not that interesting and the producers don't care if she goes on a one on one with Ben. Ben is not feeling her and decides to send her home that moment. She is crying. He insists on walking her back to the hotel and out to the car. It's all horrific to watch. Samantha says that she "really liked him". No she didn't. She'll be fine after a couple appletinis. 

Good-byes are hard. 

The girls are all shocked at how REAL this is getting. Anyone could go home at any moment. Ahhhhh!! Oh yeah and Courtney gets the group date rose because she whines to Ben in her robe and Ben wants to make her feel better about how hard this all is on her. Brother. 

Now we go to Ben's one on one date with Jennifer, the accountant from Oklahoma. The date starts out with them tromping through the woods through all of these "No Trespassing" signs. ABC, you are so funny how you try to trick us!! Yeah, right like they'd just be parading on someone else's property with a camera crew. ppppfffffffttttttt. Anyway, they get to some sort of crater that they are going to repel down. If you can believe it, neither Ben nor Courtney have ever repelled down a crater. What?! You're kidding right? Repelling craters is like running a 5k, everyone has done it at least once. HA. Jennifer is nervous, but just does it. I think it's really more brave of her to wear a yellow bikini on national tv, than to repel down a crater. You never really know how yellow is going to look against certain skin tones. So they swim in the bottom of the crater which reminded me of the movie 127 hours. There is a similar swim scene. I blogged about 127 hours here. (Everyone be thankful for both of your arms.) 

I think after this they had some sort of drinks in a cabin or a picnic setting. This conversation between the two of them stuck out to me. Ben asks Jennifer if her days are really structured and if she'd be okay with not really having a schedule. Hmm. Jennifer is an accountant, so yeah, I'm guessing her days are pretty structured and why does that matter? So, if Jennifer ends up being "the one" does she have to forgo her life of accounting and commit to a bohemian existence in the vineyards, picking grapes and drinking wine all day? And who in their right mind, no matter their zeal for accounting, would not want sign up for that lifestyle?! Jennifer insists that she doesn't have to have a schedule and Ben seems happy about her answer. She gets the rose. And as if this night could get ANY better and more magical...how does it all end?? A Clay Walker performance!! Ben set this all up for Jennifer! ABC had nothing to do with setting that up. Wow, how thoughtful of Ben!! He must really have some connections to people in Nashville. 

just like a normal date

It's rose ceremony time. Emily is starting to really hate Courtney to the point where she wants to talk to Ben about how wicked she is. She thinks that Courtney is one person around Ben and another around the girls. I think Courtney is just awful around everyone, but Ben thinks she's hot, so feels okay about overlooking it. Emily talks to Ben about it and comes off looking like a catty, shallow girl and Ben totally takes up for Courtney. Emily comes back and is telling a couple of the girl's about this exchange and about how terrible Courtney is and how she blew it with Ben. Casey S. happens to be in the mix in this discussion and disagrees with Emily and says Courtney is her "best friend" in the house. Whaaaaa?? Poor Casey S. is friends with the evil one? And thinks she's nice? Really? And Hi, Casey S., didn't really notice you til now and you are very cute! I like your style! (really, great clothes and jewelry) Casey S.'s mother must not have told her "you are the company that you keep" since she is "best friends" with Voldemort. 

emily, ben and courtney. Emily vs. Courtney has begun

So, like any good "best friend" Casey S. goes and tells Courtney that Emily is talking bad about her to Ben. Courtney goes pretty psycho and notches up her bitchiness a couple levels. I didn't know that was possible. She even goes out of her way to tell Emily that she is "winning". Now, I used "#winning" in an earlier post to be funny/dumb. "Winning" is so 2011. I don't know if you follow Charlie Sheen on twitter, Courtney, but he is no longer on drugs. He's clean now.  No adult needs to use "winning"  in a serious context. Emily thinks she might have messed everything up with Ben. And Courtney's hazing isn't helping. She could be right. Will Emily get a rose???? Oh the suspense! And she does. Monica, the dental consultant, goes home. She cries. It's a cruel world.

After Monica departs, Ben announces to the remaining girls that they are "going to Puerto Rico!!" There's lots of screaming!! Woooooooohooooooo!! The Courtney says, "I was there two months ago." and Ben says, "well you're going back". Again screaming!!! Wooohooooooo!!!"

I'll just go ahead and post this riveting recap of Episode 4. Episode 5...coming soon. Stay tuned. Skinny dipping is involved. 

Reminiscing...

I was going to title this blog post, "Papaw", but Papaw didn't really draw much attention to himself and a blog post might be too much for him. :) Last week, my Papaw passed away. A blessing in many ways because his body was wearing out and the life he was living on this earth was not really living. He was in a nursing home and sick and it was time for him to pass. I feel joy knowing that right now he is whole and healed in heaven. But, upon his passing last week, my initial feeling wasn't joy. It was sadness. It was regret. Selfish regret because the last chance I had to go visit Papaw I didn't take. I was home for Thanksgiving last year and my mom and sister went to visit him and I didn't go. I was feeling a little off due to pregnancy and I didn't want to subject myself to the sights and sounds of the nursing home. I wish I would have visited one last time. I wish I could take that back, but I can't, and I didn't see him. Tears roll down my face as I type this.

My mom told me once that "would could and should" are bad words. And they are. I can't beat myself up about what I wish I would have done. I didn't do it. Life went on and now Papaw is gone. And it's okay that I didn't see him, even though it makes me sad.

His service was last Saturday at the church I grew up in. It's the church my parents got married in, the church where my other grandfather's (Papaw was technically a step-grandpa) funerals were, where my Granny's funeral was and where my best friend got married. So many pivotal moments within those walls. So many beautiful moments, so many sad moments, so many memories. I love being in that church, even though it hurts a little. It hurts to remember what it was like when Granny and Papaw were there with me, but I love being there and just remembering. Getting older is hard and losing people might be the hardest part about it.

Papaw's service was traditional. Methodist hymns were sung and we were reminded of God's promise of eternal life through believing in His Son, Christ. The gospel. And if you think about it, what it boils down to, sounds completely insane and ludicrous, until you feel it and you know it's true and real. And you do feel it and in your life you will have a chance to feel it especially if you're searching. Seek and you will find God. You will. God's word reaches everyone somehow.

John 3:16 - For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish, but have eternal life. 


(also, mentioned at Bible study last week that a large number of people googled that verse thanks to Tim Tebow. pretty amazing.)

The pastor also asked us to take a moment of silent prayer and remember a way that Papaw showed you God and the goodness of life through who he was. It was easy to think of the way that Papaw did that for me. Papaw was constant and there like God is for us. Papaw was always there with Granny. I mentioned he was my step-grandfather, but, I was around him lots more than my real grandfathers. I guess Papaw did have a one-up on them since we lived in the same town, whereas my other grandfathers lived elsewhere. Still he was just there. And being there means a lot. Not leaving. Not bailing out, but being there with your family. It shows that you care. I want to be like Papaw in the lives of my family and friends. I want to be there. Also, Papaw, served the church and being a part of the church was important to him. He was active in his church for 50 years. It is important to be in a church and around believers. In a modern world where religion has become something negative, I was reminded how much good there is about being "religious".

Since Papaw was a member of the church, he always knew my Granny who was also an active member. Both of them went through divorces. Divorces reek of hurt and pain and brokenness and I don't know first hand, but I'm sure they went through that. That was just the beginning of their story because they found each other, and they made a new family and a beautiful marriage out of something that was broken. That's what God does, he can transform the broken into beautiful. I was so in awe of God's work after Papaw's funeral and so thankful that He brought Papaw in Granny's life so that I could know him.

We looked at lots of old pictures last weekend, which is one of my favorite things. Looking back through Granny and Papaw's travels and celebrations, all those little moments. Life is full of such goodness. Even in the hardest, longest days. Enjoy those little moments.

me and Papaw having a little moment :)

Forever Young

I don't know what it is, it could be being pregnant and it could be just being 28, but I'm experiencing a resurgence of fondness for memories of my youth. I've always have a fondness for these memories, but I as grow a little older, the fondness seems to deepen and though I don't want to go back, I do treasure every second of carefree stupidness I was lucky enough to experience. Even things as simple as listening to music with my friends on the drive home from cheerleading practice seems precious. It's those little things that I remember and smile about. There's just nothing like being young. At 28, yes, I'm still youngish, but young I am not and that's okay because once and a while some gem will come on the radio and I can turn it up and still feel like I'm cruising streets of Carlsbad with my best friends and that is a good feeling :)

Songs of my high school. 98-01 baby....



Shimmer. Classic.



The Freshmen. What does it mean? Who cares? It's awesome.



How's it Gonna Be? Deep



Adia. All Sarah McLachlan. YES. Me and my besties even went to Lilth Fair.

There's many more, but these always get me. Oh high school. Oh life. Oh time.