Okay, I'm totally exploiting my office lately, but I almost have to share this. Cory's facebook status last night.
"Cory has decided that Facebook and Blackberry's combine to create a blackhole in the middle of my existence... must uninstall."
Cory, get off facebook and spend time with your wife and children!! My gosh, what is the world coming to.
Today's status:
"Cory is recovering from an attempted assassination by his personal trainer yesterday... I am S-O-R-E."
Really, I can't take much more.
Friday, February 6, 2009
Corn Tortillas
I never know what the harmony in the office will be contingent upon, today, it was corn tortillas. The president of our company, Jeff, Trey and two of our company's lawyers had a noon meeting, so Jeff suggests they order in from his favorite place, Matitos. So, like a good assistant, I get the menu, take the orders and call it in. Every one's order is normal, except for Trey's. He wants three beef tacos a la carte and an order of corn tortillas. This is simple enough, just an order of corn tortillas.
Why does it bother me that he orders this side of corn tortillas? Does he eat them plain? Does he dip them in salsa? They don't really go with beef tacos. They go with fajitas, they go with queso, they do not go with tacos. I am annoyed with the corn tortillas. I order them, of course, but I'm panicked about them because if for some reason the corn tortillas do not make it to Trey, he will take it personally and it will cause his face to get red and I'll get nervous and feel inferior because I can't even order lunch without a mistake. I feel that Trey can see all over my face that I think his corn tortillas are stupid. I feel like the guy that took my order at Matitos can hear my disapproval of the side of corn tortillas over the phone. Why do I even care? Why have the tortillas become my pet peeve? They are just tortillas, to each his own, you know? If Trey wants to have corn tortillas for breakfast, lunch and dinner more power to him. Let it go, Alexis, let it go.
Needless to say, the corn tortillas made it safely to Trey's plate, where I'm sure he enjoyed them thoroughly. What's really my issue? I think I just need the weekend. I'm ready to not be someones assistant/waitress of corn tortillas...
TGIF --- these were Mary's first words to me this morning when I walked in the beautiful glass doors of RPI. Seriously, TGIF.
Postum Update: Mary received one inquiry about what the expiration date is on the Postum. It expired in February 2008. I feel like Mary and Kay are bootlegging expired Postum. Next thing you know they're going to be throwing Postum parties in basements. Yeah, I took it too far.
Thursday, February 5, 2009
1 piece of nicotine gum=4 cigarettes --The Office continued...
Here is another thing I don't understand about one of the employees here at RPI; if it's been 5 years since you've quit smoking, is it still necessary to chew nicotine gum in mass quantities? Apparently, it is. Hey, whatever helps you quit, I'm all for, but I don't get it.
Trey, the VP of RPI, chews probably 4 to 5 pieces of nicotine gum per hour. Not per day, per HOUR. I am not exaggerating. In the last month, due to the bad economy and the level of business coming in, Trey has decided that he is going to put Mary and I through "Lease School". This is good because neither of us want to be secretaries for the rest of our lives, but sometimes Lease School gets really awkward. It always starts out with a high school story from Trey, some kind of harsh statement that makes us really tense and then we start learning about real estate.
Today's Lease School began with a story about how Trey accidentally took drugs (high school story), then I asked Trey why he still chewed nicotine gum and he replied with, "So I don't kill people at work" (harsh statement) and then usually we proceed to learn about real estate. I don't know if Mary is feeling crazy today because of this Postum thing or what, but she decided that she wanted to chew some nicotine gum. Trey agreed to let her have some if she agreed to follow his instructions about chewing it. Chew four or five times, then hold it in the side of your mouth. Little did we know that one piece of it is equivalent to four cigarettes. You know, I may not remember what a cap rate is in five years, but I guarantee that I will remember that one piece of nicotine gum equals four cigarettes. Thank you for the education, Trey.
I'm telling you, the fun does not stop around here.
Trey, the VP of RPI, chews probably 4 to 5 pieces of nicotine gum per hour. Not per day, per HOUR. I am not exaggerating. In the last month, due to the bad economy and the level of business coming in, Trey has decided that he is going to put Mary and I through "Lease School". This is good because neither of us want to be secretaries for the rest of our lives, but sometimes Lease School gets really awkward. It always starts out with a high school story from Trey, some kind of harsh statement that makes us really tense and then we start learning about real estate.
Today's Lease School began with a story about how Trey accidentally took drugs (high school story), then I asked Trey why he still chewed nicotine gum and he replied with, "So I don't kill people at work" (harsh statement) and then usually we proceed to learn about real estate. I don't know if Mary is feeling crazy today because of this Postum thing or what, but she decided that she wanted to chew some nicotine gum. Trey agreed to let her have some if she agreed to follow his instructions about chewing it. Chew four or five times, then hold it in the side of your mouth. Little did we know that one piece of it is equivalent to four cigarettes. You know, I may not remember what a cap rate is in five years, but I guarantee that I will remember that one piece of nicotine gum equals four cigarettes. Thank you for the education, Trey.
I'm telling you, the fun does not stop around here.
retracting statement....
I am officially no longer worried about the anxiety dreams that Michael Phelps may have had.
"He looked just as natural with a bong in his hand as he does swimming in the pool," one witness said. "He was the gold medalist of bong hits."
Good for you, Michael. Sweet dreams.
"He looked just as natural with a bong in his hand as he does swimming in the pool," one witness said. "He was the gold medalist of bong hits."
Good for you, Michael. Sweet dreams.
The Office
Yes, it's a TV show, so I'm not the first to come up with this concept that people at work are weird/entertaining. Really though, working with people is just a weird thing. You are with these people day in and day out...yet you set boundaries on getting to know them because you "work" together. It's like you know them, but you don't really KNOW them...or do you?
I've worked in a small office of 7 people for the past 2 years and there are still things that never cease to entertain me. For example, my 38 year-old boss and his new obsession with Facebook. He's on it more than a college freshman. Also, he is very impressed with the band, The Killers. I agree, they are a good band, but now that he likes them so much, I cannot think they're cool. There is just something about him that just makes it necessary to make fun of him at all times. You can't help it, he just makes it so easy. It's to the point where I don't even hesitate to call him out on things. "I saw your new album on facebook, Cory. That was a good one." The thing is though...he thinks I'm serious because I'm not a mean person. He causes me to be mean. This is ironic because I truly like him as a person, but it is impossible not to make fun of a man that tells the cabana boy when he is poolside at the Wynn in Las Vegas, "I'll have a pina colada...Malibu, make sure you make it with Malibu." Yes, he's straight, I promise...a wife and two kids. Just order a beer, Cory. No, of course, he can't.
Another constant stream of office entertainment comes from Kay. I've mentioned her before. Mary and I love her. She's a genius and the hardest worker I have EVER met, but there are things that I don't get. For instance, today Mary is putting cans of Postum on Ebay that Kay is auctioning. They no longer sell Postum, so Kay is thinking she is going to make a profit off of these superfluous Postums. When in Mary's life did she think she would be at work auctioning off Postums so that Kay could make $3.00?? These are the kind of things that happen here. Inexplicable, really. So as you enjoy the new episode of The Office tonight, just know that they don't have anything on RPI.
Happy Postum selling, Mary!
I've worked in a small office of 7 people for the past 2 years and there are still things that never cease to entertain me. For example, my 38 year-old boss and his new obsession with Facebook. He's on it more than a college freshman. Also, he is very impressed with the band, The Killers. I agree, they are a good band, but now that he likes them so much, I cannot think they're cool. There is just something about him that just makes it necessary to make fun of him at all times. You can't help it, he just makes it so easy. It's to the point where I don't even hesitate to call him out on things. "I saw your new album on facebook, Cory. That was a good one." The thing is though...he thinks I'm serious because I'm not a mean person. He causes me to be mean. This is ironic because I truly like him as a person, but it is impossible not to make fun of a man that tells the cabana boy when he is poolside at the Wynn in Las Vegas, "I'll have a pina colada...Malibu, make sure you make it with Malibu." Yes, he's straight, I promise...a wife and two kids. Just order a beer, Cory. No, of course, he can't.
Another constant stream of office entertainment comes from Kay. I've mentioned her before. Mary and I love her. She's a genius and the hardest worker I have EVER met, but there are things that I don't get. For instance, today Mary is putting cans of Postum on Ebay that Kay is auctioning. They no longer sell Postum, so Kay is thinking she is going to make a profit off of these superfluous Postums. When in Mary's life did she think she would be at work auctioning off Postums so that Kay could make $3.00?? These are the kind of things that happen here. Inexplicable, really. So as you enjoy the new episode of The Office tonight, just know that they don't have anything on RPI.
Happy Postum selling, Mary!
Friday, January 30, 2009
What's in a dream??
So, ever since I started dating this Robert fellow, I've been thinking a lot about dreams. Not for the cheesy reason that you think i'm going to say. "Because the he's the man of my dreams." --well, I take that back, because he pretty much is, BUT the reason I've been thinking about them is because he remembers his...vividly. It's so great. I only remember on rare occasions and if I do remember it's blurry and in bits and pieces...one that's vivid, that's like seeing someone really famous because it barely ever happens. Once and a while though, right when I'm in that in the limbo between asleep and awake, my mind will retain the alternate world I was in during the last eight hours. It's so exciting. Almost as exciting as seeing Luke Wilson at Javier's on my birthday (that happened...true life, right, Ande Courtney.)
Last night, I remembered my dream in more detail than normal, it wasn't very cool, so I'm not going to really dive in. The jist was that I was in a dance recital and I didn't have the outfits I needed to wear and I was upset and I couldn't preform. Drama. Robert said that's my version on an anxiety dream and that some people have those about missing classes or failing tests and they are often recurring. I believe that dreams do mean something. My mom said after she lost my brother, she researched what dreams met because she thought there could have been some way she could have prevented what had happened. Far-fetched, yes definitely, I think she was just searching for any answer. I don't think she came up with anything valid that would have done that in any way whatsoever. Also, lots of people in the Bible in the Old Testament had visions from God in their dreams and FOLLOWED the instructions in their dreams...I don't know if I have that kind of faith. I want it, but that would take a whole lot. (I recently learned this about the Old Testament...I can't sit back and quote Leviticus, in case you're wondering.)
I've been thinking several things...am I anxious? There's the normal stuff... bills, health of a loved one, driving (which I do everyday, it's not exactly a strength of mine) which make me anxious, but I really do not have problems. This spurred the question of what do other people dream...Obama, Michael Phelps, even my boss who has to make tough decisions all the time. What do people under real pressure dream? Actually, what is real pressure?? and what is the point of the pressure we put on ourselves when most of the time there is little we can control?
Feel free to comment, love to hear what you think...and to all 3 of the faithful blog followers, sorry I don't frequently post. I guess, I'm just not a blog-a-day kind of girl. I'll try to be better!
Matthew 6:25-27
25"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? 26Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?"
Last night, I remembered my dream in more detail than normal, it wasn't very cool, so I'm not going to really dive in. The jist was that I was in a dance recital and I didn't have the outfits I needed to wear and I was upset and I couldn't preform. Drama. Robert said that's my version on an anxiety dream and that some people have those about missing classes or failing tests and they are often recurring. I believe that dreams do mean something. My mom said after she lost my brother, she researched what dreams met because she thought there could have been some way she could have prevented what had happened. Far-fetched, yes definitely, I think she was just searching for any answer. I don't think she came up with anything valid that would have done that in any way whatsoever. Also, lots of people in the Bible in the Old Testament had visions from God in their dreams and FOLLOWED the instructions in their dreams...I don't know if I have that kind of faith. I want it, but that would take a whole lot. (I recently learned this about the Old Testament...I can't sit back and quote Leviticus, in case you're wondering.)
I've been thinking several things...am I anxious? There's the normal stuff... bills, health of a loved one, driving (which I do everyday, it's not exactly a strength of mine) which make me anxious, but I really do not have problems. This spurred the question of what do other people dream...Obama, Michael Phelps, even my boss who has to make tough decisions all the time. What do people under real pressure dream? Actually, what is real pressure?? and what is the point of the pressure we put on ourselves when most of the time there is little we can control?
Feel free to comment, love to hear what you think...and to all 3 of the faithful blog followers, sorry I don't frequently post. I guess, I'm just not a blog-a-day kind of girl. I'll try to be better!
Matthew 6:25-27
25"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? 26Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?"
Thursday, January 8, 2009
NYD - why??
Okay, maybe I have a thing with acronyms (see previous post regarding OOTG), but I heard a new one last night and it caught my attention. NYD - New Years Depression. I was at a birthday dinner with 5 other girls and as soon as the term was brought to the table, I noted that we were all nodding in unison about the experience of NYD. Though the sources of NYD varied and the levels that it was experienced for this particular year were greater than others, I saw that we were or had been plagued by the NYD.
This leads me to ask...why? Wouldn't you agree that time of year we call "New Years" contradicts with the mental state we call "Depression". If I had to play that game where you say the first word that pops in your head after a phrase or word with "New Years" - I would probably say, "resolution". If I had to play it with "Depression" - I would probably say, "death". Okay, maybe not death, but nothing that goes with the word resolution. So, why?? Why the NYD? I don't think this NYD a new phenomenon. I also don't think it's because of the bad and getting worse economy we're dealing OR even with our realization that the extra candy and liquor we've consumed from November 26th-January 1st, has caused our pants to feel a little snug; so, again, I ask why? Why the NYD?
Last nights' champion in the "validity category" for NYD went to Ande Courtney. I'm sorry to use you here, Ande, but this story needs to be told. Afterall, your story is all you have or so says Benjamen Button, yes, everyone go see it. Anyway, Ande's NYD began when the venue that she was at on New Year's Eve didn't allow alcohol on the dance floor. Ande, always thinking outside the box, decides that she will get around this rule by putting a beer inside her purse. Long story short, the beer spills, the iPhone and camera break. Obviously, the NYD ensues promptly on January 1st. I've broken many a phone and lost many a camera, so I have complete empathy for this case of NYD. I guess it's not really NYD, it's more of something that I've suffered with since college, an ailment called, WPD, short for "I Wish I Could Stop Breaking all of my Possessions when I Drink Depression." I guess this example, doesn't completely fit the typical NYD mold, so I still ask, why...why the NYD?
The reasons could go on and on and on: the looming challenges of the new year, the awareness of how quickly time goes, the deliberation of which resolution to choose that will actually be effective, etc. etc. You know what I think it really is... this stress of the "clean slate" you are supposed to feel like you have at New Years. I am a huge advocate of the "clean slate" and have had to give myself several "clean slate" moments to move on in life, so I feel hypocritical in saying this, but, honestly, do we ever have a clean slate? I'm realizing that the second we are born the slate is clean and from that point forward the slate fills and all we can really do is process and move on. So, perhaps, it's the stress of wanting to feel like we should have this "clean slate" in order to better ourselves in the new year could have the potential to bring on the NYD. Who wants a clean slate, really? How boring, right? Everyone needs to litter up that slate and live...at least a little bit. When they say "no alcohol on the dance floor", you say "oh there WILL be alcohol on that dance floor"...right, Ande? Right. Happy New Years, everyone.
This leads me to ask...why? Wouldn't you agree that time of year we call "New Years" contradicts with the mental state we call "Depression". If I had to play that game where you say the first word that pops in your head after a phrase or word with "New Years" - I would probably say, "resolution". If I had to play it with "Depression" - I would probably say, "death". Okay, maybe not death, but nothing that goes with the word resolution. So, why?? Why the NYD? I don't think this NYD a new phenomenon. I also don't think it's because of the bad and getting worse economy we're dealing OR even with our realization that the extra candy and liquor we've consumed from November 26th-January 1st, has caused our pants to feel a little snug; so, again, I ask why? Why the NYD?
Last nights' champion in the "validity category" for NYD went to Ande Courtney. I'm sorry to use you here, Ande, but this story needs to be told. Afterall, your story is all you have or so says Benjamen Button, yes, everyone go see it. Anyway, Ande's NYD began when the venue that she was at on New Year's Eve didn't allow alcohol on the dance floor. Ande, always thinking outside the box, decides that she will get around this rule by putting a beer inside her purse. Long story short, the beer spills, the iPhone and camera break. Obviously, the NYD ensues promptly on January 1st. I've broken many a phone and lost many a camera, so I have complete empathy for this case of NYD. I guess it's not really NYD, it's more of something that I've suffered with since college, an ailment called, WPD, short for "I Wish I Could Stop Breaking all of my Possessions when I Drink Depression." I guess this example, doesn't completely fit the typical NYD mold, so I still ask, why...why the NYD?
The reasons could go on and on and on: the looming challenges of the new year, the awareness of how quickly time goes, the deliberation of which resolution to choose that will actually be effective, etc. etc. You know what I think it really is... this stress of the "clean slate" you are supposed to feel like you have at New Years. I am a huge advocate of the "clean slate" and have had to give myself several "clean slate" moments to move on in life, so I feel hypocritical in saying this, but, honestly, do we ever have a clean slate? I'm realizing that the second we are born the slate is clean and from that point forward the slate fills and all we can really do is process and move on. So, perhaps, it's the stress of wanting to feel like we should have this "clean slate" in order to better ourselves in the new year could have the potential to bring on the NYD. Who wants a clean slate, really? How boring, right? Everyone needs to litter up that slate and live...at least a little bit. When they say "no alcohol on the dance floor", you say "oh there WILL be alcohol on that dance floor"...right, Ande? Right. Happy New Years, everyone.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)